this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2025
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Chapotraphouse

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On a more serious note, all the quack health products are one of the more depressing parts of browsing AliExpress.

Regrow hair! Regrow teeth! Make your skin look 20 years younger! Make your tits, ass and cock huge!

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[–] gay_king_prince_charles@hexbear.net 34 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 23 points 2 weeks ago

I think I posted this last year michael-laugh

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The werewolf needs to buy some supplements to make his tits huge

[–] Krem@hexbear.net 26 points 2 weeks ago

Regrow hair! Regrow teeth! Make your skin look 20 years younger! Make your tits, ass and cock huge!

going on taobao rn to get myself some huge hairy tits, a donk with teeth, and a giant guowang

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Make your tits, ass and cock huge!

Well, now you have my attention!

[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago

love to have enormous tits, a massive ass, and a huge cock

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

want to say goodbye to hair

l... is actually before and after. What do you mean you thought it meant loss catgirl-smug

[–] Rey_McSriff@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I've never bothered with any of the typical alopecia treatments because I figure if billionaires can't manage to restore their hair then there's no chance for a schlub like me

It's funny being in the advertising demographics for it though, any time I'm exposed to media with ads I'm constantly bombarded with all sorts of pills that promise to fix my dick and hair

[–] RION@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I do think genetics play a meaningful role in it. You could be a hyper responder and get great results from finasteride or dutasteride while a rich guy sees nothing

[–] Rey_McSriff@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Yeah it does seem to work as advertised for some people, but my skepticism of a for-profit pharmaceutical company's product plus the possible downsides plus taking unnecessary medication the rest of my life isn't worth it to me, imo

[–] RION@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

Well fin's been generic for about 20 years (dut for 10) and the science of 5α-reductase inhibitors is pretty well established I believe, but I get the worry about the sides and having to be on a maintenance medication.

[–] stink@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 2 weeks ago

Finasteride as a preventative, minoxidil for regrowth. I got on finasteride early and it's slowed down my hairloss significantly

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I feel like the opposite of most men because I am one of the very very few men who never lost my childhood hairline but also my beard sucks ass, I’d gladly give up a bit of my head hair for better beard coverage.

[–] Nakoichi@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I too cannot grow facial hair much. I'm trying it out (shaver broke) and it just looks scruffy and scraggly.

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can get a decent looking beard eventually but it takes about a year and multiple trims to get to an alright stage. It’ll do but my dreams of the ZZ Top look are dead.

[–] SchillMenaker@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

did-someone

You facial hair people can either use minoxidil oil on your face or take it orally and it almost always significantly increases facial hair. Or you can go on test and give up your hairline for new hair everywhere else.

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I had briefly considered this, outside of a prescription Minoxidil is basically impossible to get in the UK unless it’s the Kirkland one (I don’t have a Costco card)

[–] SchillMenaker@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

That's wild, we can get it at Walmart for dirt cheap in the states. Unfortunately for me it doesn't work on my head and I've got more than enough facial hair.

[–] Wolfman86@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I wonder if theres something in this...i can't grow a beard, and I've had my (shitty, childhood) hairline since birth.

[–] moss_icon@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago

Beard growth is caused by DHT which is the same hormone that causes male pattern baldness so this makes sense.

Similarly DHT is also what help deepen your voice and I’m a high tenor lol.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

facial hair growth and receding hairline are both related to testosterone level, it's not a 1:1 thing and the effect on pattern baldness specifically is overridden by other genetics, but over a big enough population there is a bit of a sliding scale jb-shining kropotkin-shining

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Next time you get a haircut bring superglue.

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

His new hair hasn't beat his sadness

I was talking about the image but it also applies to Musk

[–] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago

AI illustration guy doesn't really care if he has hair or not shrug-outta-hecks

[–] Lussy@hexbear.net 9 points 2 weeks ago
[–] mistermodal@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Aliexpress slop is depressing

Must be rough to be one of the people who thinks China is like the super Bernie Sanders country that read Leigh Phillips' People's Republic of Walmart cover to cover and made it required reading in schools, when their whole mission is supercharging the economic base of the global south by swapping all the high value financial asset wealth for industrial capacity. (Americans can only daydream about more efficiently organizing treatlergistics. China has turned its exploitation against its masters and pinned them.)

Not even that MMT guy who pops up to say socialism in one country cannot exist seems to get it. Dependency theory triumphant without anyone having read it. SSanderista Graham Platnerism #EpicFailing because someone finally read it and it sucks.

[–] juniper@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

what if my cock is already way too big and i need to shrink it a bit 👉👈

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I shave my head and it feels like neo weaving theough bullets in the matrix. I will never know when my hair recedes because I started shaving before that age.

[–] 420lenin69@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

My superior Celtic genetics mean I went gray at 18 but will never go bald, but if I were to go bald I’d do it in absolute style like Devin Townsend

[–] alexei_1917@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

I think it's hilarious when in the same short time period, I get ads for expensive ladies' clothing, things like shoes and handbags and perfumes, and also penis enlargement and "performance enhancer" products. Either the algorithm is as unsure about my gender as I am, or it thinks I am a wealthy older straight man with multiple girlfriends who are with me for the money, none of which is true.

It's almost funny enough for me to not use an ad blocker on every website. Almost.

[–] CleverOleg@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

Funny because there are some legitimately promising hair loss reversal drugs in the pipeline. If Musk cared about salvaging his popularity, he could drop billions on a hair loss cure moonshot and if it panned out, a lot of people would ignore all the shitty stuff he did before that.

[–] Keld@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

The one thing i will grant elon musk is that his hair plugs totally worked out for him