Gooner gamers are the cringiest people in the fucking world.
this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2025
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What I don't understand is, there's many gooner games already, why do this ? Is it because those games aren't good?
I think because they find it culturally threatening for there to be prominent, popular, critically-appreciated video games that don't reinforce and endlessly recapitulate their misogynistic worldview via the contorted and objectified depiction of women. That means there will be more gamers who maybe don't like it or think it's weird, and suddenly their boys' club has been disrupted, and maybe it'll get undermined further if it spreads . . . So there's nothing to do but howl at the moon and send death and r--- threats to hold the line.
It’s also a lot of bots.
it's definitely more that they complain about anything that doesn't directly cater to them but no deliberately horny game has ever been as good as Tsushima.
This game would be a lot better if I could play it one handed.
The game: SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom
G*mers: We demand historical accuracy in our games!
Devs: ogey
Also G*mers: Wow, if you knew anything about the warring states period you'd know it was common for women to have breast implants and flaunt them yabbos in public.
women with big breasts were invented whatever year the wonderbra was first created
The average used to be way smaller due to malnutrition, but it would be highly unlikely for a swordswoman to dress in that manner regardless, because it's seriously impractical (and literally painful) for zero benefit, even if we assume it's totally indifferent culturally. SFS is overstating his claim by suggesting it's completely necessary that those are implants, but it's 100% true that this is gooner fantasy shit regardless.
Annie Hawkins-Turner holds the Guinness World Record for the largest natural breasts, with a recorded size of 102 ZZZ, weighing approximately 89 pounds in 2012. Her condition is known as gigantomastia, an excessive growth of breast tissue that developed from an early age.
89 pounds
How the fuck did she walk around with those holy shit her poor spine
I knew someone with n cups. Big pain in lots of different ways. She got a reduction
Could imagine, must be hell.
Turner
spoiler
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I really don't understand why some people want video games to be porn when actual porn exists
enforcing patriarchy via cultural hegemony
genuinely, sometimes you want to have little a horny, as a treat but not full-on pound town. it shouldn't be everything like the tourists want but it was funny to have your RPG party run around in their skivvies and i'm very mildly disappointed when you can't do that. ~~how are stellar blade PC mods doing?~~
also games can be for people besides hopeless straight men and queer people should get to have sexy rizzed up characters too.
I don't particularly want video games to be porn but if you don't think it's funny when my lady elf druid is hanging dong in Baldur's Gate (the city, not the game) we can't be friends
(Actually it got old long before I got that far into the game but doing the first section of the game buck ass naked was way funnier than it had to be)
The only sexy thing I know about that game is that you can do the deed with a bear who passes the Harkness Test. Which, as someone who very much wants a bear hug, I'm not interested in the sex, but I would like to literally sleep together (plus cuddles of course) with that bear.
It's one of my favourite games but god DAMN is there a lot of sex in it. And yeah you can totally bone the bear (who is actually a human druid shapeshifted into a bear but even so)
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gamers love realism except when it means depicting women as anything other than large breasted animes
fuck gooners 
Please DON’T fuck the gooners.
You can try, but you'll never find them. They live underground like lil gremlins.
Gamers: "I just want realism in my games!"
Also gamers:
They already have some sort of gooner samurai girl series of games with a punny name like onēchanbara or something
Also y'know if all else fails you can draw your favorite character with mega t&a gooner bait if you really want to. Like rule 34 has existed for decades now.
They also got Stellar Blade not that long ago and it still wasn't good enough for them because some of the outfits were edited slightly
Nothing will ever be good enough for them because the point isn’t to offer a standard that would make them happy. It’s to have a perpetual grievance machine to justify that they’re feeling slighted by some marginalized group. You could give them Duke Nuke’em turned up to 11, they’d still break out the calipers to argue that the ratio of his forehead height to the gap between his nose and upper lip proves it’s a feminine face and thus trans propaganda.
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Meanwhile, I find Nier: Automata to embarrassing to play lmao
I'm just glad my partner is as much of a hornball as I am
More than just one series, it's basically a small subgenre and also a character archetype that shows up a lot in fighting games (Baiken, Narmaya, Yuzihara, and this isn't counting gooner kunoichi). I'm not really sure why this specifically is so popular, unless it's just katana + booba waifu being the most concentrated way to appeal to weebs.
It’s not like there’s an entire catalogue of porn games that these gooners can choose from on steam.
They even have “sex with hitler” for those who really crave… historical accuracy.
I saw "sex with Stalin" on there, that's at least somewhat less awful, right?
Look man, until the science of inducing partial cellular dedifferentiation is out of its infancy, nothing is going to make you 14 again, least of all trying to drag video games back to their most embarassing epoch
Is the thing in the original post here real? Or is that a joke at the expense of Internet duds? Poe's law is too intense. No one can really believe that sincerely right?
y 3d lady no make peepee hard?
why peepee no go hard no more at all me must quit masturbation
Church for gamers: Christ on the cross but big titties busting out
someone should made a game where the objective is to kill the primordial god that is the source of all horniness
I think you can kind of do that in Fear and Hunger, but that game is, uh, not conducive to opposing creeps. I think you can struggle against it as a cosmic force in Lisa, but I don't think you get much of a decisive victory over it.
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