this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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I was planning to write a longer post for this mega and then Silksong happened so... oops?

Short version is this week is my 9th tranniversary. I don't remember which day exactly so I like to say it was 9/11 so I'd never forget. What ultimately cracked my egg all those years ago was not the deep yearning when looking at women that I couldn't identify as envy or the increasingly intense and umm horny dreams where I had the power to instantly change my gender. No it was that fucking faceapp gender swap filter. I just kept staring at that pic like it was a mirror into an alternate universe where I was happier and suddenly everything clicked into place. The first few years were hit or miss with a lot of other life changes happening at the time that interfered with getting properly started so in some ways it's more like a 5 or 6 year tranniversary but whatever. vivian-shrug

It's weird to say I'm almost done but I really am so close to making all the changes I wanted. I'll never stop being trans, but I'm definitely moving from trans(itioning) femme to trans(itioned) femme and that's quite exciting. And maybe a little wistful looking back at the journey.

Have a good week everyone!


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[–] meler@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

We shall discover the effects the squats will bring

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Transister radio. 📻

Is this anything???

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

It was a bad book. Trans Sister Radio. I guess it was progressive for its time but it kinda sucked

[–] inTheShadowOf@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

catgirl-huh

I botched my injection today morning and caused myself to go back into that mode. So now I'm having needle problems again.

I even tried again in the evening after getting some prescription lidocaine cream from my pharmacy and it didn't seem to do JACK SHIT.

I think I'll just skip my hormones this week. Already 3 days late with it.

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[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

I somehow managed to botch a doctor's appointment! New achievement for me catgirl-sorry

Anyway, I got assigned to this local rural psychologist because my GP now thinks I have ... bipolar disorder.

I didn't even mention my "ideations" out of sheer embarrassment. Imagine being too embarrassed to tell your doctor the problem you went to them for!

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

DANCE REPORT:

Preliminary results:

  1. The "feminine" dance class my uni offers for some reason don't accept beginners
  2. One of only 2 guys that know looked at me today and started asking me how the fuck did my parents not notice that I'm transitioning. This is a good sign?
  3. I was really satisfied with the look I made. It could be on the very of androgenous if I had longer hair and a girlie face. It's the best I can do right now without raising questions

Main event:

  1. I did the dance. TWO OF THEM! This was supposed to just be a hangout so most of the event consisted of the expert dancers dancing with each other while us noobs chatted in the corner.
  2. I'm not good at dancing.
  3. Holy shit dancing is so horny.
  4. 2 of the newbie guys told me that if they have to pay for classes there is no way they will accept dancing with a male partner. Kinda fucking cringe imo. Maybe I just lack the bias cause I'm bi, and also I'm here to dance not to find romance.
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[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

I hate being trans. I don't feel like a special snowflake, I feel scared and lonely.

[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

Okay the ad algorithm learnt to show me large girl dresses I need to log off this is dangerous.

[–] inTheShadowOf@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

I love seeing slander for a novel I haven't even started reading.

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

finally watched The Batman (2022). It was good, very noir, very detective, kinda clever actually.

also the soft e-boy version of Bruce Wayne is giving me some toppy feels catgirl-smug

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[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

spoilerTrans is really good, i’m such a fan

[–] shallot@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

I followed a link to goodrx from planned parenthood and holy shit, are these prices real? It says these are cash prices and they’re discounted??? The base prices have to be for manufacturers to ~~scam~~ ~~grift~~ efficiently sell meds to insurance companies right? There’s no fucking way you can only get valerate and oh btw it’s like 2-7x the cost of undergrounds. That’s wild. Surely I’m missing something or doing something wrong here.

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[–] Mari@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] shallot@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

Still blown away at how fast kimchi is to make. Conceptually it’s basically sauerkraut (salty fermented cabbage), but it’s ready in a couple days instead of a couple weeks? Fuck yeah. This shit rules.

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[–] XiaCobolt@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

cursed transphobia enter at your own riskHi guys whose excited for the new Lego Dragon Alley? It's only 400 US dollars!

[–] meler@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is not a drill. This girl has hair scrunchies

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[–] rtstragedy2@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

i had the actual worst sleep ever, too spicy taco + shampoo that smelled a bit too strong + having to work the next day + a billion nightmares lol i'm tired.

i'm still doing some gamedev stuffit's been a slog trying to get animations working, both to understand the current Bevy system and to figure out what's missing to get basic weapon swinging animations going in the little project I'm working on. I don't think anyone is happy with the current state of Bevy animations and I see a lot of discussion about how to improve it, but, well, no point waiting for the perfect time or perfect engine (since those don't exist) and everything has weak points.

Right now my current understanding is that a basic 3D model animation system needs three things:

  1. A way to load keyframe+pose+bone data from somewhere (Some engines have it in-engine, Bevy supports loading from GLTF/GLB which means it'll load your Blender animations and rigs along with your models) and play back a selected animation with basic controls like repeat/pause/etc. In Bevy this is the AnimationPlayer and there's an AnimationClip and it's all tied in to the Gltf class too
  2. A way to combine the individual animation clips from 1 into a graph structure to allow for blending of multiple animations or masking of individual bones (this allows you to, for instance, attack and walk at the same time and play both animations and either blend them together or only have individual bones from each move). Bevy has AnimationGraph for this (and in fact even if you don't want to use the blending/masking abilities you still need to make an AnimationGraph from a single clip) which you attach to an AnimationPlayer using AnimationGraphHandle and then the player can control which animations are playing.
  3. And a third thing - a state machine of some kind to determine which animations should be playing. Are we idling? Swinging a sword? Getting hit? It all came together when I watched a Unity tutorial and I saw the graph structure in the animation system there - basically it can respond to external triggers and also internal logic to shift between states, which have one or more animations playing. Bevy doesn't currently have something tailor built for this so I'm uh stumbling through making my own.

There are seams and dumb assumptions I made everywhere and I don't have a working demo yet but the code is starting to come together, its just a lot of balancing simplicity vs flexibility for the project I'm working on since I don't plan to re-use this code.

Of course, animating UI and 2D is a whole other thing.

some thoughts on adhdI think that since I started ADHD meds my interests have become a lot more stable and long-lasting, which is nice. Previously I think it would be difficult to connect with people about interests and to find people who have things in common with me because I'm constantly into something new and of course I want to talk to people about the things that interest me. idk just a thought I had at 3am

[–] sodium_nitride@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)

Math crankery and philosophy is the funniest shit eveeer.

Spek! My glorious king!

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