this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2025
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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/30147790

does anybody else go casually chat, go on a few dates, learn everything about each other go, show each other our favorite shows, binge then together, have tons of unprotected sex, learn new kinks, act like a married couple for a few months, then slowly fall out of love, start having poor communication and broken routines, paranoia and self insecurity sabotaging every opportunity to fix it, then just stop talking and become strangers, no, just me? okay. I'm fine.

top 41 comments
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[–] serenissi@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

are you me?

[–] prex@aussie.zone 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 2 days ago

So, a dumpster fire, but 10 years later?

[–] SpoonyBard@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago

Reminds me of comedian, James Acaster saying that dating is just learning more about a person and slowly realizing that you don’t like them as much as you hoped you would.

“I should have warned you, some of the jokes are sad.”

[–] Randelung@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I can fix you.

[–] AFLYINTOASTER@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago (4 children)
[–] Zgierwoj@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago

As someone who had a few contradictory opininions from different doctors, one of which being BPD, it does sound a bit like something similar to what I sometimes experience, both easily getting to obsess over someone and to "forget" and to have to force myself to care later

I would recommend professional help to OP, even tho I am somewhat skeptical of psychiatry myself (in the "its a new science and not rigorously measurable way"). It's not your friend's/partner's/etc. job to fix ya, and I myself ended up wanting to punish people for caring about me, that shit can break ya really suddenly, don't ignore early signs

[–] nanoswarm9k@lemmus.org 5 points 2 days ago

Looking forward to better diagnostic tools for Relational 'TSDs than sorting pink blankets into Borderline and blue blankets into anger issues/not needing healthcare. The academics are working but we'll have to chemo the fascism to get grant money going to human services again lol

[–] Beebabe@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

That was my exact thought. Just the comprehensiveness of the pattern lol.

ain't got any plans for the day, hit me up

[–] ryanvade@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago

You had me in the first half

[–] zarathustra0@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago
[–] BaroqueInMind@piefed.social 20 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

When the mental illnesses sync up like how the planets align: the moment is rare, beautiful, frightening, exciting, and fleeting

[–] Samdell@lemmy.eco.br 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm not sure about the unprotected sex

[–] erin@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If you're exclusive and both have no STDs, why not?

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

if you're both cis, surprise baby

[–] erin@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago

Oh right, straight sex. Duh. I suppose there are reversible surgical options to prevent conception, but I imagine most people don't do that. Completely slipped my mind that sex can result in children because of how that has never affected me, despite my wife and I joking about trying to get each other pregnant all the time.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Does this seem the kind of person who either gets tested for STDs or has had so few partners that they have practically no chance to pick up an STD?

[–] erin@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Getting tested is easy and usually free. I get tested just for the hell of it every time I see my endocrinologist. Seems like most people I meet for hookups also get tested relatively frequently. It's just way easier when you can show a potential partner a recent health report.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 7 points 2 days ago

Yeah, but we're talking about a walking dumpster fire here (according to OP).

Pass. We could be friends, though.

[–] Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago

🫠 im so in

[–] BluJay320@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 3 days ago

Why the fuck would you out me like this

[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago
[–] Cassa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sounds good! 🥰 good new experiences

Well... 'Good'.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Im in but i would also need to include some pretty harsh emotional abuse.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 5 points 3 days ago (3 children)

This is probably due to my personality but why would people go into a relationship just to end up abusing each other!?

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 day ago

right? i want a relationship because i have a deep twisted need to give a cute person breakfast in bed and see them smile

[–] SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

For a serious answer, bad mental wellbeing

Many people don't know how relationships are supposed to work, they only have had bad experiences and lack perspective, they had bad parents which thus weren't good role models, or they have mental health issues such as low self-esteem, or anxiety, or maybe even paranoia, and so on

There's a whole host of reasons, but none of those reasons are rational. They're broken results from struggling people. It's important to try to be self-aware and figure out one's issues to avoid things end up like this

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago

I see. Interesting, that seems to be the opposite of me – I've had so few relationships because I never feel quite ready mentaly and so I'm very cautions.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

But how will ibknow it's love if we dont hurt each other and leave each other terrible ruined husks? What will i have ro remember her by after it's over if not the emotional scars?

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you want something to remember her by and to also get her to remember you, the passwords

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How many passwords can you fist?

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 2 days ago

As many as the keyboard can handle 😏

[–] laserm@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Sounds fun.