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Since according to Bill Ackman the presence of a place you can buy eggs without a 100% markup is going to plunge NYC instantly into a Mad Max / Escape from New York style hellscape, what gangs are we all joining?
Personally I'm thinking the one of slightly sexy cultists who worship bodega cats.
How about you comrades?
It's funny he thinks he lives in a world where people aren't currently stealing from grocery stores.
Porks are unable to blame themselves.
The current cost of living crisis is literally because there currently are shortages, and porky’s been publicly laughing and rolling in dough.
Not one of them have thought “ok, maybe we pushed our luck.”
People will buy goods at below-market prices and resell them
The markets understander has logged on.
This already happens with food stamps, it's a non-issue
Once they open these stores, absolutely everyone will buy their groceries from Shady Joe's Discount Foods of Unstated Origin! Especially the people who can afford food from private stores.
Especially when there's the government run stores even cheaper RIGHT THERE.
Funny. Everyone wants to be all "people will blame capitalism when bad things happen" but then can't understand that the problems they're worried about would literally only happen because of capitalism. Ugh, liberals.
Yeah, but once Zohran's New York falls they'll all be hiding in a fortified version of the New York Public library, using the books for heat instead of knowledge, and surviving on pigeon meat from the rooftops. Them broadcasting printed out Reddit posts via the emergency alarm system will be annoying but they won't be much threat anymore.
using the books for heat instead of knowledge
Yep, that tracks for your average liberals.
Bunch of terrified liberals hiding in a fortified public library, burning the books for heat, eating the pigeons, and blasting out annoying nonsense over emergency broadcasting, claiming it's Red Dawn out there, while sane people are enjoying a socdem doing a few decent things... that'd make a good story. And sounds about right for post Red Scare Americans.
“Poor porky will be unable to compete”.
Why are porks entitled to comfort and somehow comfort is good for porky but the workers should be subjected to austerity?
I’ll tell porky what he regularly tells me. “Uhhhh, kiddo. That sounds like a YOU problem!”
Agreed, now let's repeat it while they have to walk out onto the ice or face our spears and maces made from deconstructed anti-homeless architecture.
Stores will sell goods at below cost
People will steal from stores without fear of reprisal
Spoken like someone who definitely understands why people steal food to begin with.
People steal more food the more affordable it is :very-smart:
I was going to say the Trans one, but it's New York, so there's probably a dozen Trans gangs like the Dolls, the Boy-moders and other less pleasant named ones.
So I guess maybe the Auto-Gynephiles who are lesbian street racers
So I guess maybe the Auto-Gynephiles who are lesbian street racers
That goes extremely hard.
In my head, Boy-Moders and Boy-Modders are rival gamgs
Chuds: BIDEN MADE EGGS TOO EXPENSIVE, TRUMP WILL FIX THE ECONOMY
Also chuds: WHAT? YOU CAN'T JUST SUBSIDIZE GROCERIES, WHAT ABOUT THE SMOL BEAN BUSINESS OWNERS?
Fully subsidising the stores would eliminate theft.
Edit: and eliminate any resale market.
Edit: and eliminate food shortages.
Edit: and private stores would not be necessary.
Edit: heyyy, maybe they are on to something...
Yea my guy you are right. Scalpers, thefts, food shortage, all of these are problems solved by capitalism
There are 17 states with Alcoholic Beverage Controls who operate state-run liquor stores. I guess it's true that private liquor stores are unable to compete, because they're illegal, but there hasn't been a liquor shortage in what, 92 years?
I'm gonna join whatever crew doesn't instantly kick me out for doing the beer-bottles-on-fingers bit from the Warriors
In Zohran's post-apocolyptic utopia we will all come out to play.
Sweet I think I got enough powdered Gatorade mix to share. it's gonna be hot out there
Don't worry, there's gonna be an entire crew just of people doing the beer bottles on fingers bit from the Warriors
Foot clan, not a fetish thing, I just hate turtles
Foot clan but the fetish one, not the turtle one
If Zorhan does half the shit these out of touch billionaires think hes going to do, i'll move to nyc in an instant
Also lmao that alot of the bad effects they are warning about are already happening under capitalism
These people are going to do this. They will send people to steal from these stores and make a silly ebay listing. If that doesn't work they'll send people to poison the food in the stores. NYC is going to need a lot of help from leftists to make these projects work.
Yeah, we're gonna need some kind of community safety plan for each one of these stores worked out with the people who live around them or something
I want to be one of those generic goons from Double Dragon, or perhaps Final Fight or Streets of Rage
Whichever gang snaps their fingers menacingly as they do shit; I think they'd probably be fun to hang out with and gentlemen all around
The Warriors, of course. Mostly because I'm bad at rollerblading and applying clown makeup.
Too much running. 
I can dig it though.
who worship bodega cats
I can get behind this.
Are bodega cats an actual thing in NYC?
Yeah. Sometimes they're owned by the owners, sometimes they're just happy to let them chill there each day because they keep pests and rodents away.
To be fair, lots of places have shop cats like that, especially in hot places where the cats use the shops and stall awnings to chill in the shade. I've been to towns in Turkey and Spain for example that have statues to infamous or long standing shop cats.
The more social but slightly less menacing cousin of the infamous Barn Cat.
Barn cats are country cats. Shop cats are city cats.
City cats will fearlessly navigate crowded floors or even car traffic. Barn cats will bully animals 50x it's size. It's the same energy.
I was typing out why each single of those points is wrong* but what's the point. This persons brain should be scientifically studied. Preferably in a jar.
*Edit: Ableisms
So... What actually causes the food shortages?
Private grocery stores cannot compete and go out of business.
And the public ones just, don't expand to take over the demand because well... erm... I mean... I suppose they can't because... well... THEYRE EVILL SOCIALLISTS! STARVATION IS THE POINT! THEYLL STARVE US ALL BECUASSE COMMNUNISM WORSE THAN HITTLER 5BAJILLION DEAD!!!!!
Ah, I see. Only having one brand of tinned tomatoes is WORSE than death anyway.
my gang would be largely orthogonal to sexiness while making a big show of being irritated by bodega cats, yet discreetly giving out treats and scritches
Former New York is a blighted land of contrasts and I'm here for it.
What you don't realize is Bill Ackman literally dumps his actual, evil plans straight onto social media through himself or surrogates. This guy has unlimited resources, he's a billionaire.
This isn't a hypothetical it's an actual plan to destroy this as a possibility. Inject "we will pay people to x" in front of most of these bullet points. They pay people to sabotage this and create this city-wide food desert so they can destroy any spark of socialist hope and make the citizens of NYC beg to be saved by the oligarchs.
i'm not even joking. These guys have such egos they can't actually do smokey back room planning they just put it all out there and laugh at us because we can't do shit about it.
Or maybe not even laugh, they just don't see a need for secrecy because they have never known as single obstacle to anything they do in their entire living memory.
(i'm not saying everything is a billionaire conspiracy but always look at stuff like this as trial balloons. even if they don't hand out cash to shoplifters there are other ways to arrange things to fail)
warriors... come out and plaaaaay
I'm already shitposting fodder as it is so I'll probably join the Buzzards.
