His number are off due to the idea that chicken is cooked at 400F. Yikes!

Hi there and welcome back to another episode of Bitch Slap Kitchen, where we cook food like it owes us money. Today we're making some delicious backhand chicken.

Suspend a whole chicken in midair form some string or something, haul back, and swing at about mach 5, a little less. You're probably not going to have any intact glass anywhere in your house and you'll probably set off some car alarms in the shopping district but you'll have a table ready main course in milliseconds.

OMG, I asked copilot to read the text and fix it to 168 degrees F.

I expected it to give me text and for it to be horrible,

what It did was so much worse and so must more impressive.

So has anyone who's actually cooked a chicken before done the math? Because my guy just slapped this poor bird into pure carbon. Did he mean to do 205°F? It's still too high, but it would at least be edible.

In general, chicken needs to be heated to 74C or 165F for a few seconds to kill off dangerous pathogens.

Here is a list of other times and temperatures for chicken to be considered safe

Yeah yeah we get it, Newton will fry your hand and pls don't cook a chicken to 205°C core temp.

BUT! What kinda physics major forgets Newton AND the fact that you won't convert kinetic energy into heat with 100% efficiency?

I know, three math majors in a trench coat, that's who'll forget it.

Gotta love how everyone forgot about Newton in all this. Enjoy your instantly well-cooked hand, which is also made of meat.

Introducing the pneumatic oven range. Place the chicken in the can and press the button... No mess cooking and bone meal blending! High calcium foods!

As your friendly neighborhood person with knowledge about food and cooking, 2 pounds is an absurd weight for an uncooked rotisserie chicken, that is a very small and cooked weight, 4-6 pounds is going to be typical. Also, more importantly, you cannot cook something faster by increasing the temperature past a pretty quick point, meat is an excellent insulator. No slap can cook the inside of a frozen chicken unless the entire chicken disintegrates.

Tbf though, a slap at 3700 mph would absolutely disintegrate the chicken.

A guy on YT actually tried it experimentally a few years ago (how many slaps, not how fast one slap); and it works to some degree! The main problem becomes to make a slapping machine that can survive long enough:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHFhnnTWMgI&pp=ygURc2xhcCBjb29rIGNoaWNrZW7SBwkJzgkBhyohjO8%3D

Typical physicist, ignoring enthalpy of phase changes. Starting from 1C defrosted makes a huge difference from 0C as the melting takes up a ton more energy/slaps. Their underslapped chicken would give you salmonella

Lord have mercy on folks cooking their chicken to 400 F. Those birds will come out as dry as the sands of the Sahara.

205°C 😂😂😂

Bro really wanted his chicken well done at 400°F

But how do you get the chicken back from the stratosphere once you've slapped it that fast?

Cook your hand too 😄

No one's going to point out the absurd starting assumption KE=mcT??

Where's the link to the YouTube video where someone tried this? I remember listening to it last time someone posted this.

The chicken has to exceed the boiling point of water for it to be cooked? Unless we’re making chicken caramels, I don’t think so.

Doing some math, I think it works out to 6,242 slaps or a single slap at 1,939 mph. Much more attainable.

Fucking nerds in the comments^l^ ^love^ ^it^