this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] GeekFTW@lemmy.zip 147 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Imagine waking up one day and admitting to the world that you are that goddamned fucking useless of a human being? Mind boggling.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

oh dude, my brother and sister in law have this story they like to tell about me where they abandoned their three year old child at a park because they expected me to be there. they never contacted me about watching or caring for their kid, i just busked there every other thursday. i had a doctor's appointment so i wasn't there. the way they tell it, i'm the villain (their neighbor found their child wandering around the park and brought them home. apparently i'm at fault for being 30 miles away the entire time) but, uh, they really like the story.

my brother does not know why his circle of friends keeps shrinking.

[–] shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

Your brother and sister in law sound like they were made for each other, both insane.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

You have to understand that like 50% of the American population are even more useless than him.

[–] Kintarian@lemmy.world 73 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I wonder why all the tech bros are completely off their rockers.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 27 points 1 month ago
[–] defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Lack of empathy, born with golden spoons in their mouths

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 7 points 1 month ago

I don't. I'm sure of it.

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Power does things to people

So does an insular community

[–] Naich@lemmings.world 65 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I mean it's fair enough. It's not like anyone has ever done it before. There is literally no information available about this uniquely modern process.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 month ago

plus it's such a horrendously complex thing that you definitely can't largely figure out on your own

hey my infant keeps leaking this foul smelling brown stuff, what's going on??? if only i had access to AI so i could figure this out..

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[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 43 points 1 month ago

You know what? I believe him.

[–] ApeNo1@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

ChatGPT prompt : “How do you make arrangements to have a live in nanny to take care of your child?”

[–] Showroom7561@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 month ago

"Those first few weeks it was constantly," he says of his tendency to consult ChatGPT on childcare.

Dude, I wouldn't trust ChatGPT for plant care 😂

[–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Why would you admit you're a complete moron like that?

[–] formergijoe@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Because other complete morons will now buy the product?

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 4 points 1 month ago

I would do it if it got me a million dollars

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is he admitting ignorance to something that literally tens of billions of people have done, including people who can't read and never knew what a computer was, or even how to make fire? This is the guy who we should trust with making an "artificial intelligence"?

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

To be fair, programmers don't make great dads, it's rather hard to program your kid

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[–] aaron@infosec.pub 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)
[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 1 month ago

wow, getting desperate with the marketing over there.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

If he literally knew nothing and was worried for his child he could have hired a well paid live-in nursemaid and forgotten about the money it cost the next half hour.

Instead he used his child as an experiment.

“Hey dad, are you proud of me?”

“I’m proud of the value you created for me and the shareholders.”

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

This guy's kid is going to be so fucked up

[–] LostWanderer@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 1 month ago

Sam Altman at this point is a parody of a human being, one that failed upwards in spectacular fashion. I can't wait to see the postmortem of why AI failed, and this weird advert for AI to be cited. ROFL

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It just goes to show. Financial success doesn't equal a good person (or parent, in this case)

[–] brax@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Pretty sure it's an inverse correlation or maybe a bell curve with some outliers on either end.

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 17 points 1 month ago

Holy shit we are definitely living in a satire simulation running as a VR experience for people living in a less funny but just as brutal reality.

Like holy shit you can't write this shit, this has got to have people at The Onion quaking in their papery and layered exteriors.

[–] RockBottom@feddit.org 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What would be Darwin‘s response?

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[–] ohwhatfollyisman@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

then why even have a baby? the joy of caring for that child--of experiencing fatherhood--is a big reason for having babies.

not taking steps to learn how to be a father is like buying a hog and slapping training wheels on it. you're never going to get to really enjoy that ride.

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

so he's an idiot, got it

[–] tonytins@pawb.social 13 points 1 month ago

Altman reminds of all those robot Zuckerberg memes.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 month ago

Put that child in a foster home before he abuses it even more.

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

what a fucking useless human.

I vote we start calling me Elon Jr.

Is that a man or is that a cockroach in a human suit ?

[–] C1pher@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jesus crist, this guy is lucky he even has a child, unless he used ChatGPT for that too :D

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[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wtf is a supremo actually don't tell me I never wanna use it again

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[–] neomachino@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I can't think of a single thing I would trust chat gpt with, especially when it come to my kids.

I'm trying to rationalize what you could even ask it that's not a single Google search away with a forum or blog post written by (hopefully) human fucking beans who have gone through the same thing you're experiencing and figured it out.

For every parenting question you have there's 100 different answers, at least 20 of them are reasonable, pick one of those 20 and figure it out.

While writing this I tried something. Chat gpt told me a 4 month old needs around 14 ounces of milk in a day if their breast feeding. Which is about half the actual number. I think the recommendation is ~25 /day, my kid drinks ~30. If I gave him 14 a day I think he'd learn how to walk just to kill me.

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[–] Railcar8095@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago

So he fired the Nanny in favor if chat GPT?

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 4 points 1 month ago

We have mistaken rationality for a philosophy rather than a methodology, and efficiency for a virtue without any particular end in mind.

To have a unique, personal, subjective, divergent human experience is to sin against your prescribed algorithm.

[–] vane@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

my kids will never be smarter than AI

Sam Altman 2025

Call a doctor.

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