Ask Lemmy

Retail workers spending the day doing shenanigans while barely doing any work, I'd kill for time to do some stupid time wasting shit.

Sorry I can't join your impromptu wedding for two workers whose name I forgot.

About anything to do with computers. Anything.

If any of the detectives from Law and Order come in to my bar I absolutely will not remember that random patron from five days ago.

3d printing - it prints flawlessly and the first time.

TL:DR: Everything? Like, literally everything.

If it's about driving? They're looking everywhere except the road in front of them

Computers? It's cringe, all I will say

Flying? Not even close

Brushing teeth? Put some tooth paste FFS!

Sex, perhaps? As bad as porn videos are at showing realistic sex situations, movies and especially TV shows are typically way worse with all the requirements to not accidentally show a nipple, omg!

Martial arts and fighting? The worst offenders. After twenty punches to the chest that will have broken half of the ribs, the protagonists now suddenly finds the strength in thinking about keeping his little girl safe and now he beats up 20 guys with those broken ribs

Being punched unconscious or getting some chloroform and they wake up the next day? Lolololollll. Humans are notoriously hard to keep them "out" without killing them, it's why anesthetists are paid so well, it's a very complicated job. When you're out from an impact to the head, you need medical attention, you likely have a minor amount of brain damage. If you're out for more than ten seconds, it's brain damage for sure. If you're out for over a minute, you're likely not waking up with full abilities, you're likely going to be a vegetable at best

Okay, doctors then? Saving a patient's life with the buzzer? Yeah no. When the heart stops, that defibrillator won't make it "go" again, the defib actually stops it in case of heart rithm problems. Also, CPR outside a hospital will result in death for about 90% of the cases, give or take, and Har % goes up by another 2 after 3 weeks later. The tiny % that does survive likely will have issues ranging from benign to being a benign vegetable.

I almost never see accurate sword fights. If they last more than two or three swings, they’re likely wrong. And Achilles jumping at the beginning of Troy was just comical. Footwork is so vital to sword play that leaving the ground is insane. But realistic sword play would be boring as fuck. It would be over in half a second and you would barely see any movement.

Gaming.

There is no way that this obvious secret wasn’t discovered until now. If there are as many gamers as you show, it would’ve been found within 2 weeks maximum. Looking at you, ready player one. Cringy McCringeCringe can’t be the only one who found these obvious secrets after literal years.

Call centers: that there is time between calls. That people have time off the phone to form friendships with coworkers.

Handyman: we have sex with clients.

IT: that we can just code anything we want regardless of standards, policies and best practices.

I'm actually pleasantly surprised by how much movies get right with rowing and sailing in movies.

The one that does make me roll my eyes is the scenes where characters are chilling in the galley or bed and then suddenly run up because they hear/see a problem through a porthole. I always get pretty grumpy with the idea of folks being actively under sail and simply 'tying' the wheel or tiller and going under the deck. Only the incredibly expensive sailboats can truly get away with that. A small, affordable to a middle class type, yacht will have that with a motor, but sails are not so forgiving. If the wind changes you could have a pretty bad day, and even a perfectly 'straight' tiller will likely have you turning circles ere long. That's not even considering how poor of a decision that would be unless you were a military ship in the middle of the ocean and others would get out of your way. Just because collisions are super de duper unlikely doesn't mean they're impossible.

(IT, sort of sys-admin/remote help)

No, I'm not a programmer even though I sit by the PC. Also I can't magically fix any and all your computer related problems in a second I look at your PC.

Pretty much everything. See "Bee Movie".

Fiction: Daddy bee goes to work in the honey factory every day.

Fact: Daddy bee has glorious sex once and immediately dies. Bachelor bee is booted out of the hive by his sisters in the autumn and dies.

MRIs

Far too many movies and TV shows use the magnet to cover for their lazy writing by treating it like something that can be turned on and off like a light.

The magnet in an MRI is one of the coolest things in medicine, and writers get it wrong all the time. In the vast majority of cases, it's always on.

In simple terms, an electromagnet works by running a current in a circle and creating a magnetic field. In an MRI, the current is flowing in what is essentially a closed loop of wire. However, in this case the wire is cooled with liquid helium so it becomes a superconductor.

They induce a current in the wire which creates the magnetic field ("ramp up" the magnet). Because it is superconducting, the current doesn't stop. Once it's ramped up, it no longer requires any external power. As long as the current is flowing the magnetic field remains.

There are only two ways to "turn off" the magnet.

One way is to "ramp down". Essentially the opposite process that is used to get it running in the first place. That's what they do if they need to stop it for service.

The other way is to quench the magnet. You hit the emergency stop and vent off the liquid helium. Without the helium, the wire warms and resists the current and the flow stops.

Quenching a magnet is a magnificently dramatic process. Someone hits the panic button, and there is a loud roar as the helium escapes. Clouds of condensation form around the exterior of the building as the cold gas escapes. In the event some construction crew screwed up and accidentally sealed the vents, there could be an explosion from the rapidly expanding gas.

If writers want to use an MRI as a plot device, have an accident and require someone to quench the magnet to save a life. You'd have the immediate drama from the accident and the quench, and then you'd have the long term drama of the hospital trying to figure out where the money to fix the MRI would come from.

https://youtu.be/9SOUJP5dFEg

I don't think I've ever seen blacksmithing done correctly in a movie, show or game.

I am so used to seeing movies or shows depicting someone playing a video game on the screen that is for one system, but the controller in their hand is for a totally different system.

You ain't fooling anyone when the dude is playing Super Mario with a Genesis controller. 😬

using a red-tailed hawk call whenever a bald eagle is shown

also I like to try and figure out where they filmed based on the birds I hear in the background

Having served in the U.S. military, I cannot unsee the fact that movies and TV shows ALWAYS fuck something up with the character uniforms-- Army rank on Air Force cadets, upside-down rank, badges pinned on the wrong side, the character is a Sergeant Major but they're wearing Major rank, the character is wearing ribbons for wars they weren't even alive to have served in, and so on.

As the flipside to the question, pretty much any customer facing job like retail, sales, or food service have been spot on, especially if they are specifically calling those industries out. Superstore, Waiting, Office Space etc. are so damn accurate to the pain of working them.

To the original question, I think it was mentioned earlier, but anything with a gun is typically wrong. The struggling artist who can afford immense loft apartments in downtown cities. Ghost hunting/supernatural expeditions are so glamorized. They NEVER tell you how much time it takes to review everything.

(Engineering)

According to movies:

1. We spend our entire workdays in the lab.

2. Whenever anything is turned on, there's a loud whirring and a big shower of sparks. Computer screens with big flashing "WARNING!" signs are optional.

3. Something is inevitably spinning on the lab bench. It's unclear if it does anything.

4. Fixing a major problem is solved when someone has an "Ah-hah!" brainstorm moment, wires up something on the spot, and it magically works perfectly.

5. Assembling a new thingymajig involves lots of power tools and pieces which fit together seamlessly. If they don't fit, they can be made to fit with some elbow grease and definitely won't fail horribly the first time you turn them on.

6. Labs are festooned in such random pieces of hazardous equipment as high-voltage power lines, random chemicals, blowtorches, and radioactive materials.

In reality, we spend a lot of our days at our desks, the equipment is surprisingly quiet (and that which isn't, you stay well away from while it is operating), and spinny stuff largely went away in the 1980s. Assembling a new thing is 30 minutes of grumbling, 3 hours of pulling your hair out, and day(s) of waiting for a new part because someone screwed up tolerances or signal polarity. The most dangerous thing in the lab is stuff sloppily left laying on the floor, which I have tripped over and nearly cracked my skull before.

In fairness, #4 happens sometimes. It's extremely rare, but occasionally you do get those moments where you figure out what the bug in the system is and can rectify it in an hour or two. Most of the time, a fast fix for one problem causes another.

One thing that bothers me, and what everyone should know, is proper placement for defibrillator pads if you're using an AED.

It's not 2 pads on the chest, it's one pad on the upper chest (almost shoulder) on one side, and the other pad goes lower on their side. You're trying to have the current go through their heart (not skip over the top of their skin).

The AEDs found in public locations are all very easy to use and all have pictures for the proper placement. Just open it up and it will tell you everything you need to do. Have someone nearby look for one at the same time you're asking someone else to call emergency services.

They should all have razors if you need to get a little hair off (in case the person is especially hairy for one of the pad placements).

I was led to believe that shipping crates open up easily with one quick pry of a crowbar. In reality, those things are built with so many nails and screws that it takes more work to tear it down than to build it.

You don't need a huge wrench when working with the p-trap under the sink and water wont start spraying everywhere either as drains aren't pressurized.

Sprinklers react to heat, not smoke.

Not all spriklers go off at the same time in most systems. Only the sprinkler heads affected by heat.

The water coming out of sprinklers initially isn't clear but dark, rusty sludge. Sometimes even black as ink.

The number of people who are "knitting" in a movie or on TV...maybe 40% of them are actually doing it, and that's a high estimate (shout out to Miss Marple!). The rest appear to be wrapping yarn around one of the needles and then moving it vigorously, lol.

Basically all science but particularly biology. I'm not sure I've ever seen accuracy regarding well anything outside parts of gattica.

Assays that can't be sped up, sped up. Machines doing 5 things other than what they're actually built for. Gloves, no gloves at wrong times. Terrible technique, etc.

I work in IT so appearently i can just type override to get into any computer system. Cool..

Waiting and Party Down were both great about depicting the experience of food service, but gay men and Latinos were criminally underrepresented in both.

Before Mr Robit, hacking was always portrayed as some action packed race against the clock with fast typing and a lot of meaningless, magic words.