this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

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2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

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top 23 comments
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[–] GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 1 points 56 minutes ago

Honey, you have to put some elbow grease into it.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I read the caption before I took a good look at the picture and I assumed that "floaties" meant something very different.

[–] the_beber@lemm.ee 4 points 5 hours ago

Whatever floats your uhh… arms?

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 13 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

If hot tub handjobs really are a thing I've wasted my life

[–] MunkysUnkEnz0@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago

They are but are very dry. Water is not good lube. Better one person sits on the edge of the hot tube with there legs in the water.

Lazy rivers work also..

[–] veroxii@aussie.zone 10 points 7 hours ago

They are, so next time take off your floaties.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 27 points 9 hours ago

This is my favorite post of the morning. Laughed well and shared with a friend. Thanks, Onion.

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 11 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago

Yeah, just cum on the inside, problem solved.

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 17 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

Dammit! These are schwimmflügel, there IS a proper English term. Use It!

Edit: Thanks @dan@upvote.au I realized a left out a diacritic mark.

[–] dan@upvote.au 22 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

schwimmflugel

English

🤔

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 2 points 2 hours ago

Kindergarten, Rucksack, Schadensfreude :)

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Floaties image search: https://duckduckgo.com/?q=floaties&t=ffab&ia=images&iax=images

Nary a schwimmflügel in those results at all. I rest my case.

[–] Nelots@lemm.ee 1 points 2 hours ago

Try again with the word 'arm' in front.

[–] sprite0@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

my dad always called them floogles and i never knew why!

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 2 points 4 hours ago

Parents can be mysterious, that way.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

That's when you go for the foot job instead.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 4 points 7 hours ago

Safety first though!

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 8 points 9 hours ago

I love onions

[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 5 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)
[–] C1pher@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

It prevents: "This isnt a beach, this is a bathtub" kinds of situations.

[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 8 hours ago

Sounds like a challenge tbh