this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 33 comments
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[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 101 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I sent an email. We'll see what happens.

Edit: I received the following response:

This has been a social experiment by Oxford University, thanks for participating. Your data has been logged.

Immediately after opening the email, I received the following text message:

Hello, how have you been?

0/10, would not recommend.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm guessing you tick 2/4 boxes

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

I am full time.

[–] figjam@midwest.social 14 points 1 week ago

You are braver than I am.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 54 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

LOOKING FOR INTERNET GF

MUST BE
-internet
-a girl (negotiable)
-ready to be chronologically and financially disappointed
-hungry

SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY

Please email me at lonelysadandpathetic@gmail.com Please email me i swear to god i am so lonely and sad i dont even care if you're doing it as a joke i just needed human contact please someone just talk

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 25 points 1 week ago (5 children)

How can one be chronologically disappointed? Did you mean "chronically"?

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

1 Bad at summing things up

7 Have a hard time counting numbers

4 Firstly, forgetting when what happened.

Let me sum it up for you:

[–] EvilCartyen@feddit.dk 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sorry, this comment hasn't left me disappointed AT ALL.

[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Fuck, at least I tried

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don’t have enough time to answer you, let alone finish this re

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

ally long salami that was shoved ins

[–] ItzzMe@midwest.social 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

ide an oven wrapped in dough for 20 minutes at 2

[–] LostWon@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I thought it might be a cute way to say they'd be a waste of time and money.

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 4 points 1 week ago

Uses Too Many Big Words

Contention

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Travelled back in time and the past is shite.

[–] Hjalamanger@feddit.nu 2 points 1 week ago

The person may wish to be disappointed one disappointed at the time and would be disappointed to have disappointing flashbacks to previous disappointments. This person wishes to be disappointed by the disappointments in chronological order.

I don't know if this makes any sense but at least I learnt to spell disappointed

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

Can she be Polish but live in Canada?

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I feel like posting a picture of what you want is kinda vain, shouldn't they just have a headshot on the flyer? It's not like this can get any more embarrassing.

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 53 points 1 week ago

The flyer does no good if nobody looks at it.

[–] db2@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The pic is clearly Danny Phantom "fan" "art".

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago

I was thinking more Fairly Oddparents, but same artist.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Maybe that's what she looks like.

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

If anyone who looks like that is single and desperate enough to be posting flyers, they should try sliding into my DMs. They'll find love much quicker there.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 32 points 1 week ago

Honestly, this takes more effort and is more creative than making a profile on a dating app.

It is also pretty honest.

... I don't think this is likely to actually work, due to the obvious red flags, but it is probably more likely to actually work than doing this same thing on an app.

[–] perestroika@lemm.ee 26 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

A note about dating apps: most of them aren't better than this. Their interest is keeping the user clicking, paying for services and coming back. If you find the right person for yourself, you will do none of that. So they:

  • build awful card stack systems with no search function
  • build superficial profile systems with no metadata about personality, habits or world views

...and of course, with such systems, people fail to find suitable partners. They come back and pay, but society suffers, because someone needs to make money.

I would vote for a politician who would promise that the ministry of health and social security will order a publicly funded dating site that's built by scientists, with data privacy managed by the leading university in the country.

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You want increased birthrate? This is step 1.

Of course I think that if Musk controlled a government dating site, it wouldn't show white people any non-white matches. And wouldn't support anything except two person, male/female relationships.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

That went from funny to sad real quick

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

Catfish2Catfish communication.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 1 week ago

gonna pretend to care and when he asks for a pic, imma hit him with the goth Meg from family guy.

Meh, weak sauce. I'd settle for part time.