Ask Lemmy

One, 2nd grade Roman Catholic school, telling a bully of mine that he's going to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks, got detention for that.

Two, getting detention for skipping/running back in from a fire drill. I think that was 3rd grade.

Gah my school was fucking stupid.

Smoking. Dumbest fuckin thing...

Rhyming words with pitch. I was in 2nd grade. And I wasn't trying to get away with saying bitch, it's just a word that my parents used and it popped into my head.

Girl who sat next to me told.

A literal paddling for being late to homeroom in middle school. Bad as schools are now, they have been worse.

Also, wearing a mini skirt on a football game day, when the cheerleaders had to come to school in their uniforms (skirts much shorter than mine.) this is the only time my mom backed me up, she said it was stupid and picked me up I was not in trouble. Dress code should be the same for everyone, if you have one.

Not doing the Hokey Pokey correctly. Yes, corporal punishment was still a thing. Yes, it mentally scarred me.

Grade 3, I was saying "fuh" like the first sound in "fuck" and Katherine told on me for saying "fuck" even though I didn't say it. Tragically, her story was believed and mine was not. I never forgave her. I also never saw her again after Grade 5, so whatevs.

I got a paddling for calling a student teacher "Mr. Ummmm... Dude" bc I couldn't think of his name. The actual teacher said that was the equivalent of him calling me an asshole.

Also

I got suspended because we were selling cookbooks for some event and I didn't pay attention to the price. I asked someone before I left for the day and they lied and told me double the price. It was 5 he said 10. I learned from a friend that I was told wrong the next day after it came up I sold my mom's bf one for 10. Principal overheard and I got suspended for 3 days. The art teacher that was in charge of the event told me I "disgusted her" and to get out of her sight.

I could probably go on. School was dumb.

I got suspended for kicking my bully down a small flight of stairs. He punched me in the forehead while wearing his father's knock-off Rolex which slid down his skinny wrist and the dial gave me a small cut which bled quite a bit.

So after he sucker punched me and ran I caught up to him at the top of a small staircase down the hall. While he slowed down to "walk" down the stairs I kicked him in his back sending him flying down to the ground and knocking the wind out of him.

We both got suspended, but I still think that's total bullshit. If a kid is physically assaulting another kid the one that retaliates should basically have immunity.

Same kid started choking me out from behind during PE one day and since the teacher was looking the other way and I was starting to pass out I threw myself backwards to land on top of him. Immediately knocked the breath out of him again and I got suspended for attacking him again, but he some how managed to convince them that I was the one that attacked him in the first place. So only I got in trouble for that one.

Fuck you Chase. You were a POS in grade school and based on your 35 year prison sentence for theft and domestic abuse it looks like you're still a piece of shit. Go fuck yourself buddy.

Throwing a dime onto an empty stage in highschool. "Could have been assault"

Not sure which is dumbest so I’ll write a couple

In senior year of high school, when I received my schedule, I realized it was a class short. I’ve always had this very big issue of “trying to do the right thing.” So I marched to the office of the person in charge of that, asking if I could get an art class to fill the period. She said everything was full and she couldn’t do that. So I said “well thank you for trying” and was getting up to walk away when she stopped me and said “No, you are not allowed to have a free period, this must be fixed right now”. I was part of the yearbook club and told her I would just use the time to work on the yearbook. She would not have it at all. So she added on the only free class, one about taxes. The thing about this class is that it was FULL of bad kids, they were all dumped there. To make matters worse, my sort of stalker was in this class as well. The first day I showed up, she noticed me and stood up in front of the class and exclaimed that if anyone messed with me, that she would mess with them. It was quite embarrassing. The class was abysmal to be a part of and not much got done. My friends made fun of me for my stupid choice there. I should have just kept quiet.

During lunch time. In 1st grade my friend didn’t want to go to the bathroom alone and asked me to go along with. When we were on the way, the girls bathroom door was wide open for some reason with 6 girls standing by the entrance. It was odd, but we kept walking to the boys bathroom, did our business and left. On the way back we say one of the girls talking to one of the lunch aides. She apparently told her we had gone INTO the girls bathroom. We were forced to stand facing the wall for the rest of the lunch period. I was more upset that my friend convinced me to go, since I didn’t really need the bathroom in the first place.

I made a copy of an Apple system diskette.

"Swearing"

5th grade, first day at a new school. I'm trying to meet new kids, but I'm terribly awkward. I try to lead one conversation with some humour "Did you know the Bible says you shouldn't covet your neighbour's ass?"

Cue some other kid running off to find a teacher, which resulted in me having to skip recess and write an essay about how I shouldn't swear because it is a bad influence on younger kids.

Over the following four years I was on the receiving end of invective many times more aggressive and offensive, sometimes right in front of teachers, but I never saw another kid punished for foul language.