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["Get your crabs ready" news] Mitch McConnell, 82, taken away in wheelchair after falling TWICE.
(www.thedailybeast.com)
Crabs?
this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2025
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crabrave
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We use emoji crabs to celebrate the death of a particularly horrible person. More info here - The crab emoji, explained | Mashable
imagining him falling face-first but his head bends just enough for the saggy mashed potatoes in his neck wattle to hit the ground first, which end up being bouncy enough to act like an airbag to absorb the impact as the pouch compresses and violently jiggles
I don't care what the facts are. That's too good not to be true.
Since it says he fell twice I am imagining he slipped and fell, got up, and immediately stepped on a banana peel
The banana peel was actually at the very top of the staircase he fell down. It's been reported that his body contorted into a circle and he rolled down the stairs like a Looney Tunes character.
FUCKING DIE PLEASE
It lives in my brain forever that Mitch McConnell eats apple sauce for breakfast, mashed potatoes for lunch, and ham and gravy for dinner every single day.
Probably due to dentures. But one of the most powerful and richest ghouls of the American Regime eating joyless baby food is some sort of metaphor.
It is wild how this describes like HUNDREDS of our politicians.
he should be eating shit in a dirt hole
I distinctly remember Hillary saying she has something like a plain hotdog with ketchup for lunch most days. All of the money they'd ever want or need and they eat the most basic slop imaginable.
i think it was even a bunless hot dog. just the weiner with ketchup. literally what my ass was eating when i was 5 and poor
That is revolting. It is one thing if she is going outside to get a dirty water dog everyday. That is sick but in the correct, NY kind of way. This sounds like she has a pack of hotdogs in a minifridge in her office and she is microwaving them.
Who says she heats it up?
Remember how she carries a bottle of hot sauce with her wherever she goes? Especially if that hotdog comment was said when she was campaigning, it was only because she thought it would make her more appealing to the lowly, unwashed masses. "See, I'm just like all you dirty poors!"
I think the hot sauce thing turned out to be true, like she does really have a bottle on but staffers said she put it on everything even stuff you wouldn’t normally like she was a character from iZombie. So even her humanising “normal” behaviour was done in an odd and off-putting manner
is she depressed?
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I don’t understand why these people even want to keep working into their 80s and 90s. What the hell? It sounds miserable.
to be fair, their job is eating $40 steaks with lobbyists and no-call-no-showing votes to take away their constituents rights
I’m sure they all wear dentures. Anything spicier than an Ensure shake gives them debilitating indigestion.
If I’m 83 and breaking my hips walking up 100-step marble staircases, I would be questioning why I’m doing that instead of living out my remaining years watching Price is Right on my yacht.
You get driven in a nice car from your fancy DC townhouse or penthouse to a huge office with comfy chair and private bathroom where your staffers act like servants while telling you how important you are. Then you go to nice restaurants with lobbyists.
It's like how people would talk about Bezos doing 60 hr weeks. The conditions he "worked" under shouldn't be considered work to begin with.
(Personally being an introverted person it sounds the worst but I get why others would like it)
I'm with you but for them congress is nirvana.
well it's not like their jobs involve doing any actual work
Die already you corrupt fascist fuck! 
no way some old dude who has visions of death while he's trying to give a speech is capable of turning to his side when he's mid fall. that turtle definitely fell face first into his old man goop
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Like half of congress is 70+ at this point. I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often.
How long until most of congress is required to go around in wheelchairs, accompanied by nurses, because the house and senate majorities are so thin that it just takes one or two dinosaurs falling over to reshuffle US politics.
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I know if he dies he'll simply be replaced by another horrible ghoul. I still really want him to die though.
"The problem with liberalism is, you never run out of another horrible ghoul"
my time has finally come
Please die while Congress is in session, pretty please. It would be so funny
An entire nation eagerly watching C-SPAN like children on Christmas eve.
Unfortunately it's unseasonably cold, so I will not be able to take my crabs to the streets. But know that they're with you in spirit, in terrariums.
If you're cold, your crabs are colder. Good job taking care of your crabs 🦀
Ffs can't this decrepit ghoul do one decent thing and fall on camera?
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Uncritical support to comrades stairs and gravity in their protracted physics war against genocidal octogenarians
Gravity take my (potential) energy 
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