this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Hi everybody! My schedule has been really unforgiving, so I may or may not end up writing something and making changes to the post later in the week.

Regardless, I hope you all have a good week!


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(page 6) 50 comments
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tldr: catgirl-flop

still complaining about work sorrymy first office day sucked ass so i called in sick today. i got there, forgot what floor we were on so kept visiting different floors until i found it. opened up my laptop, wifi wouldn't connect so missed my morning meeting. IT guy helped me find a wired desk. service desk guy misgendered me (i feel like intentionally? he was kinda rude from the jump and i was in a very femme outfit using a not-perfect girl voice). and i spent the rest of the day overstimulated, cold, uncomfortable, and super fucking anxious. i mean the office was bad pre-transition but now i'm just so on-edge i can barely even do any work

i've just had my penultimate psych session where i got him to explain my diagnosis in a letter. if that doesn't work i'm going to quit, the main reason i'm staying is because i really like my team, there's some (measly) trans benefits offered to 1+ year perms, and i'm dreading having to find another job

every single time i talk to someone about wfh they talk about how much they missed the social connectiveness of the office and how lonely they felt but i just don't get that. i know there's people that are more affected by RTO than myself and i know i probably sound privileged asf but i just can't do this shit 3 times a week. i don't even think i'm leaving the house that often outside of work...

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 26 points 3 days ago (4 children)

my egg cracked less than a year ago and now i'm completely and utterly stupefied that I ever even believed for a moment that I was a man. Like, not only do I look back thinking that I was always a girl, I don't even believe myself when I think that before 2023, I legitimately believed that I was male. I know that fact is true but I don't even believe that I believed it

I had such a loose association with being a man or a boy, as a kid it rarely came to mind except all the fuckin times I did ridiculous shit like try to cast magic spells or wish to be a girl or dunk cold fucking water on my head like I was Ranma. As an adult, it was more of a resignation - "oh yeah, I guess I'm a guy. A lot of my friends are girls, I'm a super ally, I'm attracted to my partner partially because they fuck a lot with gender, I love drag and do at every opportunity including very stretched opportunities, I know a lot about transitioning... but I'm a guy I guess." lol

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I feel this big time. It's unbelievable to me that there was ever a time before the egg crack and it's not even been half a year for me. I regularly unlock new egg memories that make so much more sense now and it will be forever baffling that these moments didn't crack me sooner

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

I literally did the "I'm cis but" on multiple occasions 😭

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It’s hard for me to believe I ever thought in school I could be a manly navy seal or some shit when I was a 5’3 shrimp

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[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

after about 9 months HRT and hair growth that girl in the mirror finally just looks like a clocky ass trans girl. I can't really see a man at all anymore

perfect :)

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most estrogenized of them all?

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago

not metrans-specter yet. girl's only on 9 months HRT yet, imagine what I'll be looking like in 2 years. I'd have been doing laser for over a year at that point too

[–] gaystyleJoker@hexbear.net 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

hi, does anyone wanna make the mega in the upcoming weeks? if so, reply to this post and i'll add you to the list!

the list as it stands:

GayTuckerCarlson* (2/10 - 2/16)
oscardejarjayes* (2/17 - 2/23)
EstraDoll (2/24 - 3/2)
Eco* (3/3 - 3/9)

​ * after name denotes someone who has posted before and will be skipped by first-time posters

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One time long ago, I was in a first year English lit survey course. And the prof asked "but who does the bell toll for?" And I summoned all my 18 year old inner strength to not say "it tolls for thee" but looking back I think she wanted us to speak up at all lol

[–] yewler@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago

Getting ma'amd by my classes is nice

[–] KatGirl@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I am going to create a new political ideology. I shall call it Marxism-Leninim-CatGirlism and it will just be Marxism Leninism but everyone will be forced to have some sort of animal augmentation like cat ears and a tail. Especially the person who creates the ideology I decided

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

gonna get beaver teeth and go vegan with a wood based diet and build a big ass house

[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

How is that different from the main transfem ideology, Meowoism?

[–] KatGirl@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

Its better because I stole the idea from Meow and claimed it as my own

[–] amy_jmayday@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Does it have to be a cute animal augmentation, or can it be something like a thagomizer or shooting blood out of my eyes as a defense mechanism?

[–] KatGirl@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Shooting blood out of your eyes works too

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[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Today has been moving so slowly. Can something happen, or it be bed time yet, or something? I'd like to hurry this up a bit. I already slept as much of the day away as possible. Now I'm just stuck.

[–] Ambii@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Finished up Detransition, Baby and holy shit is that book heavy. It has such an intimate (in my opinion) understanding of trans women and how we see the world, our communities, and gender, and it really pays off in the text.

Torrey Peters seems to have a gift when it comes to writing scenes that engross you and make you empathize with the characters. The scene at the climax of the story had me emotionally, psychologically, and physically distressed and dysphoric because of how it depicts a certain character grappling with the physicality of our bodies in the middle of a heated moment.

I didn't expect a book about adults in their 30s having a baby to have so many twists and turns, it felt like I was watching a drama at times and I really hope the adaptation eventually comes out and does the book justice.

I want to recommend this book but the list of content warnings ((domestic) violence, transphobia, self harm, sexually explicit passages) probably means I'll only recommend it with the caveat that it's triggering if you're sensitive to the content.

I love me some messy trans women (Maria Griffiths my beloved) and this book really hit the mark. Overall I love this book and it's probably in my top 3 of all time and not just as trans literature.

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm kinda bummed that all our good trans lit is so bleak and cynical. Detransition, Baby, Nevada, Manhunt, Tell Me I'm Worthless (well the last two are horror so I guess that's on me).

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[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Why is it called Detransition, Baby

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You're gonna love this. One of the main characters has detransitioned (life as a trans woman was too hard and dangerous) and there's a baby involved

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don’t think I want to read it

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

That's fair. It is heavy and I said it earlier but it does bum me out that all the big Great Trans Lit mass market books have such downer themes. As if the only way to define our lives is trauma and suffering and there is such an empty space where Trans Joy or Euphoria are palpably missing. Kind of sucks that we're represented, to ourselves mind you these are written by trans authors, that we're representing ourselves to ourselves as tragic figures and lost souls. Bleh.

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[–] kristina@hexbear.net 26 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

doing my best to turn tiddy growth pains into gender euphoria agony-wholesome

[–] AshenWolf@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

Always remember the mantra: "Β‘No Pain, No Gain!"

[–] buh@hexbear.net 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

unhinged thoughts about gender and sexuality
spoiler do cishet guys ever think "it would be funny if people thought we were a gay couple since we're always together lol" do cishet guys ever think "I'm glad I met a girl who accepts me even though I'm kind of a feminine guy" :::

spoilerYeah, bromance for the first one. My little brother has had a couple deep platonic bromances. I mean, platonic as far as I know he's definitely engaged in some shenanigans but the aim was always picking up chicks (don't ask, also don't ask how a little homoeroticism worked for him because it always fucking worked when he went out to bars with me and friends lol). He's joked about it with his buddies.

[–] Edie@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

c4c, but it was actually a t4t and they were both just afraid to come out

[–] SuperZutsuki@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

Quiet mornings with my partner by the fire comfy

[–] DinosaurThussy@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Shopping while trans and fat is such shit I may just learn to sew

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[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 20 points 3 days ago

Reading The Ethical Slut to become more ethical and a lot sluttier.

Also took it slow on the weekend bc i briefly felt as if i was getting sick and now i'm approaching dangerous levels of being undercuddled bc i didn't meet my gal pal or my crushes.

[–] amy_jmayday@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago

I'm thinking I should paint my nails.

Not to like be pretty or cool or whatever, but because my brain is going "If you paint your nails then painting your minis could fuck up your nails, which for some reason will make you want to and give you energy to keep painting your minis."

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