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submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by cosecantphi@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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[-] godlessworm@hexbear.net 29 points 1 day ago

i laugh at idiots who pay dozens of dollars for bidet attachments. i pee on my own butthole to clean it. i use god's bidet.

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago

Tactically placed spoon on the toilet bowl so it pisses back at your butt

[-] buh@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

this is what the seashells are for

[-] Hexamerous@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

People mentioning acetone and rubbing alcohol. Those are great! But it can be expensive. A more frugal option is to reuse an old bottle for baby powder and put lye in it, it's basically soap. You can lye in bulk at some places. Just sprinkle it around to keep everything fresh down there.

[-] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 17 points 1 day ago

I only use acetone, can't get truly clean with weaker solvents.

[-] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 12 points 1 day ago

Psssh, amateur. I use benzene.

[-] MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 1 day ago

You fools, DMSO is the universal solvent. An added bonus is you can dissolve your drugs in it and clean your asshole while delivering drugs through the skin AT THE SAME TIME.

[-] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

As a fan of cleanliness and precision, I simply do a few passes over the area with a plumbing torch

[-] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 24 points 1 day ago

fr though toilet paper is barbaric and should be consigned to the past

[-] regul@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago

How do you dry your butt after the bidet?

[-] Xavienth@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 1 day ago

The barbaric part is smearing your shitty ass with paper and expecting it to be clean, not the mere presence of toilet paper.

[-] AernaLingus@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

I use a small towel that I hang by the toilet specifically for this purpose. I guess if I had other people using my bidet I would have a big stack of them and throw them into a little hamper after a single use or something, but they only ever touch my butt and I make sure it's squeaky clean before drying so I just change the towel out once a week.

[-] AnarchoSnowPlow@midwest.social 12 points 1 day ago

Look, you're the cleanest thing in your house at that point. So your towel is only ever getting cleaner. It is such a waste of precious resources to wash it.

[-] BobDole@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

Why would I clean my towel? My towel cleans me

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

I agree.

By the way, are towels supposed to bend?

[-] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 day ago

The towel seems gross to me. I use a bit of toilet paper. Either that, or I just sit there for a few more minutes and drip dry.

[-] regul@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

I have a very hairy ass and, even though my bidet has a heated fan, I still need some paper.

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 5 points 1 day ago

my bidet has a heated fan

fedposting you've given yourself away, Agent!

[-] electric_nan@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 day ago

One day I'll graduate to the bidet with air dryer!

[-] hexthismess@hexbear.net 14 points 1 day ago

I'm just waiting for a drive thru ass-wash to perfect the ass cleaning industry

[-] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago

I wonder how that will work. Will they install little trapdoors at the bottom of your seat that open up?

[-] RedWizard@hexbear.net 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I knew a guy once who would always shower after shitting. If he was in a place that he couldn't shower he would somehow use the sink to wash his ass. It was... clearly compulsive. He also thought it was weird that we thought it was weird that he peed in bottles.

[-] Lyudmila@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Sounds like he could have used the Cinco Urinal Shower System, from Cinco! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLPi6vgJpG0

[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[-] CocteauChameleons@hexbear.net 10 points 1 day ago

That is weird clearly he should be using a jar instead

[-] Sulvor@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

Feel the burn

[-] Weedian@hexbear.net 11 points 1 day ago

I bidet that shoots soapy water would be cool

[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago

That'll dry out your buttflaps. Use iodine.

[-] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago
[-] AnarchoSnowPlow@midwest.social 7 points 1 day ago

This really chaps my ass.

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 7 points 1 day ago
this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2024
56 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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