i laugh at idiots who pay dozens of dollars for bidet attachments. i pee on my own butthole to clean it. i use god's bidet.
this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2024
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chapotraphouse
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Tactically placed spoon on the toilet bowl so it pisses back at your butt
this is what the seashells are for
RεTVRN
fr though toilet paper is barbaric and should be consigned to the past
How do you dry your butt after the bidet?
I use a small towel that I hang by the toilet specifically for this purpose. I guess if I had other people using my bidet I would have a big stack of them and throw them into a little hamper after a single use or something, but they only ever touch my butt and I make sure it's squeaky clean before drying so I just change the towel out once a week.
Look, you're the cleanest thing in your house at that point. So your towel is only ever getting cleaner. It is such a waste of precious resources to wash it.
Why would I clean my towel? My towel cleans me
I agree.
By the way, are towels supposed to bend?
The towel seems gross to me. I use a bit of toilet paper. Either that, or I just sit there for a few more minutes and drip dry.
I have a very hairy ass and, even though my bidet has a heated fan, I still need some paper.
One day I'll graduate to the bidet with air dryer!
my bidet has a heated fan
you've given yourself away, Agent!
The barbaric part is smearing your shitty ass with paper and expecting it to be clean, not the mere presence of toilet paper.
I knew a guy once who would always shower after shitting. If he was in a place that he couldn't shower he would somehow use the sink to wash his ass. It was... clearly compulsive. He also thought it was weird that we thought it was weird that he peed in bottles.
That is weird clearly he should be using a jar instead
Sounds like he could have used the Cinco Urinal Shower System, from Cinco! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLPi6vgJpG0
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I only use acetone, can't get truly clean with weaker solvents.
Psssh, amateur. I use benzene.
You fools, DMSO is the universal solvent. An added bonus is you can dissolve your drugs in it and clean your asshole while delivering drugs through the skin AT THE SAME TIME.
I'm just waiting for a drive thru ass-wash to perfect the ass cleaning industry
I wonder how that will work. Will they install little trapdoors at the bottom of your seat that open up?
As a fan of cleanliness and precision, I simply do a few passes over the area with a plumbing torch
I bidet that shoots soapy water would be cool
That'll dry out your buttflaps. Use iodine.
People mentioning acetone and rubbing alcohol. Those are great! But it can be expensive. A more frugal option is to reuse an old bottle for baby powder and put lye in it, it's basically soap. You can lye in bulk at some places. Just sprinkle it around to keep everything fresh down there.
idea
This really chaps my ass.