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[-] That_Devil_Girl@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 days ago

That property has more rights and protections than people do.

The value of human life, in reality, is much lower than I thought it would be.

Laws and rights are only as good as the people & mechanisms that enforce them. A piece of paper doesn't protect you, people do.

That people often prefer a comforting delusion over the truth, even if it hurts them in the long run.

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 days ago

you don't have to make a living from the thing you enjoy most in life, in fact it's sometimes better not to.

[-] BenVimes@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 days ago

That I will never enjoy the taste of wine.

I figured out I would never like coffee in my teens, and had the same realization about beer in my 20s.

But it wasn't until this year, in my mid-thirties, that I finally accepted that I don't like the taste of wine and probably never will. After years of trying the full spectrum of wines, I had to admit that it wasn't the "notes" that were turning me off, nor was it a problem with the quality of the wine. It was the fundamental "wine-ness" that I disliked, the same as I don't like the "beer-ness" of beer or the "coffee-ness" of coffee.

[-] HereIAm@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I've never quite gotten into wine either. I like most stouts and porters. Bit anything too hopy in my bear and it's going in the sink. Shame with the whole IPA revolution going on. Other than that cider and cocktails are the only thing I really enjoy consuming. Everything from the sweet Swedish Briska to the most fermented fresh pressed apple cider goes down without much problem.

[-] MicrondeMMMMMMM@lemmy.blahaj.zone 52 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

People just don't care about you that much, if you go into the street wearing nail polish as a a male presenting person no one will care if you don't act weird about it. Same thing for shaving your legs.

Family might care though, what helped me was understanding that I spend a few days per year with my family maximum, but I spend that whole time with myself. So who cares what they think be yourself.

This helped me start transitioning at 19

[-] ReakDuck@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I don't want to transition. I am 100% male and this will not change, but I still wanna dress sometimes like a gothic queen. Will happen for Halloween.

But I still feel like people care. Even small changes on me get attention. I guess it depends if you learned lots of peoplr and friends in University or not.

I think when Learning new people, it might have an influence. But idk. I never tried it because I am afraid.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

People will often take “I felt like it” or “I thought it looked cool” for an answer. Halloween crossdressing is normal, though yeah some people will wonder if you’re questioning your gender, it’s more because it’s a common safe way to express that and any concern is likely from a desire to help.

And for what it’s worth I’ve known many cis men who like nail polish. Especially as an expression of goth, punk, or emo aesthetics where adopting feminine expressions are seen as cool for guys to do.

[-] Dogiedog64@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

It's OK to only do what you KNOW you are capable of doing. Too many people hurt themselves trying to push themselves too hard, when they just aren't ready yet.

[-] mathias_freire@lemmy.zip 39 points 4 days ago

The things that don't kill you, do not always make you stronger, but leave you wounded forever.

[-] Hackworth@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

When I was a little girl I thought that everything, all the abuse and neglect, it somehow made me... special. And I decided that one day I would write something that would make little girls like me feel less alone. And if I can't write that book...

...if I don't, that means that all the damage I got isn't good damage, it's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it, and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could've been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for? - Diane Nguyen, BoJack Horseman, S06E10, "Good Damage"

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[-] evlogii@lemm.ee 10 points 3 days ago

Not all rich people are smart, and not all smart people are rich. Seems kind of obvious to me now, but it took me a long time to comprehend this.

[-] ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago

Not too late but later than I should have:

  • To seek professional mental health help
  • To understand that Bisexuality really exists. Growing up and in my teens in media and pop culture it’s seemed that you either were gay or straight, no other option.
[-] aphlamingphoenix@lemm.ee 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

And that being gay was bad. It was not conveyed well in our media, and our culture was full of negative connotations with non-heterosexuality. I feel you on this one. Bi people exist, and we're everywhere!

[-] No1@aussie.zone 20 points 3 days ago

That it's never too late!

[-] Melobol@lemmy.ml 100 points 4 days ago

The thing that comes only with age is: to not give a fuck.

When we learn that it doesn't matter we can all be little old people who are purple mohawk headed, wearing clashing neon adidas jumpsuit with zebra primted boas.

[-] ChihuahuaOfDoom@lemmy.world 40 points 4 days ago

I only learned this a few weeks ago at 40 years old, now my hair is blue, both my ears are pierced and I'm a lot happier. I told my 19 year old daughter that "what will people think?" has been my mantra, now it's "fuck 'em"

[-] foggy@lemmy.world 35 points 4 days ago

"at 20, you care the world what everyone thinks of you

At 40 you learn to not care what anyone thinks of you

At 60, you realize nobody has been thinking about you at all, the whole time."

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[-] gasgiant@lemmy.ml 85 points 4 days ago

The sunk cost fallacy is a very easy way to get stuck being miserable.

Sometimes a drastic change might be painful at the time but will be much better for you overall.

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[-] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

Dad was not lying on top of mum to squash her.

No matter how much 6yr old me was complaining after entering their room early one morning.

[-] Jonnyprophet@lemmy.world 23 points 3 days ago

When someone is abusive or hurtful to you, 90% of the time it's not your fault. It's that there is something wrong or something broken in them. They are malfunctioning and it's necessary to understand that.

The other 10%.... Well, own that and fix your mistake.

But a very large majority of the time, it's them being broken and wrong.

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[-] Volkditty@lemmy.world 84 points 4 days ago

To just invest in broad index funds instead of trying to play the stock market.

Bogleheads

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[-] ntn888@lemmy.ml 27 points 4 days ago

That there's a opensource version of reddit!!

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[-] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 52 points 4 days ago

I'm a perfectionist and I realized I've been making life too hard for myself. Choosing a low bar for success but keeping the ceiling high has felt like a much healthier approach.

[-] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 28 points 4 days ago

The consultant's proverb: done is better than perfect

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[-] actually@lemmy.world 63 points 4 days ago

Brushing teeth regularly, and flossing , is more important than I ever realized.

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[-] sunbeam60@lemmy.one 35 points 4 days ago

Your own happiness is more important that somebody else’s happiness.

Not to say you shouldn’t be nice or help people, or invest in other people’s growth.

But don’t do it to the detriment of your own.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Probably would’ve been nice to know I was trans a few years younger but I started hormones at 20 as did a friend my age who came out at 16, so like it probably would’ve been less consequential than much.

The importance of studying. And related, calculus and how electricity works. Both would’ve saved me a lot of money to have learned 6 months earlier.

Also how to say no to someone trying to negotiate your boundaries and use your kindness to push you into a relationship. I should’ve walked away the second she said she wanted to negotiate my no and that she wasn’t going to give up on pursuing me. That situation fucked me up and wasn’t even the first time someone with insufficiently controlled bpd wound up pressuring me into romantic/sexual situations I wasn’t comfortable with by making it harder to say no than to give what they wanted.

[-] fubarx@lemmy.ml 39 points 4 days ago
  • Any work or study done during an all-nighter is a waste.

  • If you meet someone and all they do is talk about themselves, they won't be a good friend.

  • Nobody really cares how you look or what you wear. And anyone who does has bigger issues they would rather not deal with.

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[-] bruhsoulz@lemmy.ml 20 points 4 days ago

Basic necessities arent a given and one should b grateful for em

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[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 37 points 4 days ago

Your high school diploma. Nobody ever asks for it. No job I have ever held has asked for proof that I completed high school which I didn't. My last job had a class they wanted me to take at a night school and that's when they realized I didn't have it after 7 years of competent, exceptional work, so they just shrugged and got me in there anyways

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[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 43 points 4 days ago

I was never going to "find myself" and so I should have just gone to college with my friends for computer science and made the good money when jobs were easier to get even though I had no interest at all in it. Hindsight is 20/20 and all that jazz. Now I'm a worthless schmuck in a factory living in someone's garage paying their mortgage in rent prices.

All my interests are hobbies, some of them even too expensive for me to do lol they're nothing you can monetize.

[-] digdilem@lemmy.ml 20 points 4 days ago

All my interests are hobbies, some of them even too expensive for me to do lol they’re nothing you can monetize.

Work is for making money, hobbies are for spending money. I think a lot of people mix that up and lose their enjoyment; money changes your perspective on why you're doing something.

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[-] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 33 points 4 days ago

You can just ask people out. You can just ask to kiss someone. I was in my mid 20s when someone told me the first one, and late 20s when someone told me the second one. Dating got a lot easier after each revelation.

[-] EddoWagt@feddit.nl 17 points 4 days ago

You can just ask people out.

I know I can, but you think I dare do that?

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[-] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 19 points 4 days ago

That I have moderately severe to severely severe ADHD and I'm on the autism spectrum.

Makes functioning as an adult quite difficult.

[-] nixcamic@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago

Knowing has helped me a bit, like "ok, I'm not a bad human, my brain is just weird"

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[-] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 49 points 4 days ago

"Fake it till you make it" doesn't mean pretend to be happy until you are happy. I committed to a relationship I wasn't happy in, a career I wasn't happy in, and hobbies I wasn't happy doing, all because I wanted the approval of others. A divorce, career change, and hobby swap made me much happier.

[-] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 31 points 4 days ago

Yeah, fake it till you make it only applies to overcoming self doubt, and should not be used to dismiss glaring problems. It certaibly doesn't work as a cure all for actual problems.

It can in rare cases work for happiness, but only if the reason is one that is just based on self doubt while things are actually going well.

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[-] JustAnOrdinaryCreep@lemmy.ml 37 points 4 days ago

That it doesn't matter what other people think of me as long as I'm happy.

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[-] TotalFat@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Don't buy the cow if you're lactose intolerant.

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[-] mindaika@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 3 days ago

Dynamic programming. I should have just chased a check rather than trying to save the world

[-] kang@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 days ago

No matter how hard you try, how loud you cry, some people will never change.

[-] KingGordon@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago

At 50 I learned I’d been tying my shoes wrong my entire life.

https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/grannyknot.htm

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[-] Jarix@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

That in spite of doing my best to care for their mother as she slipped into the madness of depression and alzheimers before dieing last year, that they care about my sacrifice because no one other than me or my brother cared enough about her to help with her care(we did the best we could I know it wasnt enough but at least we were there for her)

But they get to keep her money after kicking us out of the house and selling everything she had so thats cool right?

Relationships can be anything you want them to be. I wish I spent less time trying to figure out if someone liked me and just tried to have fun with everyone I met.

[-] johsny@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago

Compound interest.

[-] RBWells@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago

I'm not sure it's ever too late to learn anything. Unless you are dead.

But I do wish I'd been able to feel ok about my body as a teenager, the anorexia was harmful to my bones & heart, so I guess technically I learned too late to value my body, or learned it too late to avoid damage anyway, though I'm pretty healthy overall now. I think almost all teenagers are uncomfortable with their looks in some way, at least they were back then.

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[-] Hayduke@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago

Manage your finances. Know where every penny goes. Budget as best as you can - plan for all of the things you know you spend money on through a year. It doesn't mean you can't spend money on things you like, but it does mean that you know when you can afford it. It gives you confidence and control no matter how much you are making.

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this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2024
198 points (99.0% liked)

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