I had a friend who tried the same thing, bars and such. He didn't try anybody in his friend group and he was more ir less isolated at work, so there was no real pool of people to look into. I suggested getting a cheap seat at the ballpark and he balked saying he didn't like sports. I told him even if he walked the concourse, there were still folks he could interact with. He ended up finding some girl who was an actual prostitute and got him hooked on drugs.

Pottery class. You are a dirty mess, every one is a dirty mess and y'all have something in common. Plus it is an artistic expression and as long as you are willing to talk about artistic struggles being "bad" isn't detriment at all. And worst comes to show you now have a new coffee cup.

Replace Pottery with whatever is offered locally.

Bruh just find a group activity - fuck I don't know, instead of paying $30 for a beer, take a painting class or something..

I go out and interact with strangers all the time, make acquaintances and friends, and when I was interested, even met women to date. I'm autistic, awkward, and have anxiety. If I can do it, most neurotypicals should be able to as well. I think the problem most people have is that they expect things to happen instantaneously. It takes time to build rapport with an individual or group, but consistency is key. You'll often be surprised by the people who look forward to seeing you.

Ireland is the only place where pubs are actual genuine places to meet and chat with strangers. And even then it can be difficult. Came back to France after 13 years and I was just flabbergasted at the difference. Everyone is out with their little group and no one seems to talk with anyone outside that little sphere. Only spot where it's socially acceptable to engage strangers is the counter itself and that's about it; and if you do it feels like you're a freak, honestly. I tried a few times to just meet people that way, and gave up.

Only way that worked for me was joining a hobby or sport or some other group like that. Volleyball got me a job within like two weeks of joining! Couchsurfing got me great friends, girlfriends and eventually my wife.

If you are a man, do not go to bars or clubs alone and expect anything unless you are like, insanely hot or charming. But if you are either of those things you don't need my advice. Either go with friends or do something more actively social, like a class or outright social group.

Yeah, my experience, too. People hang out with their friends in their friend groups. Just sucks that they don't seem to mix anymore. Networking doesn't work if there's neither opportunity nor interest.

You have to leverage the situation you're in, but something that works well for me is go climbing gym > compliment someone on their climb > strike conversation > if it goes well, ask for their insta (semi-public info) > slip into DMs (wanna go climbing again?) > make a move

Between each >, it's obviously only a step you can do if the vibes check, but it's one example of something that works. Also I won't lie doing this is a bit difficult, but you get better with practice. It also works great if you go to busy climbing gyms in different places at different times, since you'll always see new people. Final caveat is I do this for friends, since I'm already dating, but it works the same way to catch a bf/gf

I'm part of a social activity meetup group that also does a bit of volunteer stuff for folks In need. I'm already with someone but I've watched people meet and pair off in that group several times. It happens.

If you smell shit everywhere you go, check your shoes.

Dating is a complete shit show. People that say to just work on your self are only telling half the story. Of course it's important to be open and actively willing to improve, but it's equally as important to identify the kind of people in your life. Legit, the only reason I'm not a complete fucking incel today is because I was lucky enough to have a friend to connected me with someone I wouldn't have ever met otherwise.

I was convinced that all my self-improvement was pointless as I kept getting shoved away as a monster for simply being a man and getting cucked by literal rapists. Felt like what I believed in must have been fundamentally flawed somehow, that I was just broken. Turns out I was just used to attracting shit people.

Surprisingly, real world isn't world of Warcraft, people won't have marks over their heads indicating something to you

Such is life if you don't follow rule 1&2.

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Legit though, why be rude to a fellow for rolling up politely as a dude? Like, if he's hitting on you and it isn't welcome, you tell them up bugger off politely. But just someone looking for some conversation? Man, I actually dislike strangers in general, I've got PTSD issues. But I still wouldn't automatically push the guy away without a solid explanation. And I'm actually known for being blunt about things in public. But when you go to some places, including bars, there's an assumption that it's a shared space and you treat other people as well as they'll allow.

Like, if you aren't willing to be polite and at least explain why a stranger isn't welcome in your group, maybe a bar isn't the best place to meet up? Nobody is obligated to welcome them in with open arms if they don't want to, but you do it nicely because that's a fellow human being trying to be social and friendly. You say, "hey man, sorry, this is an in group situation, we're here as an established group doing our thing." You don't dis them, you don't act like they're bad for looking at you and your group and thinking "maybe those dudes could be cool to hang with". That's a good thing if someone thinks you and your crew are interesting.

I dunno, maybe I'm fucking weird, but as much as I hate crowded places, and dislike random contact, I can't think of a single time where I would have rejected someone without a friendly explanation why.

We gotta be better to each other. We don't all hang the be friends, but we can be nice about it, can't we?

I legit have no idea how I meet people but some how I have friends and occasionally girlfriends. I can't control when it happens I just have to wait until I get a friend join event.