this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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Asklemmy

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[–] BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org 169 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for β€œgirls and gays”.

[–] tetrachromacy@lemmy.world 115 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If pulling forward into an empty parking space in front of your car is gay, then I guess you'd better start calling me Elton John. What the actual fuck?

[–] a1studmuffin@lemmy.ml 46 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Not sure if related, but my wife once told me it was hot watching me put my arm behind her passenger seat, look back and reverse out of a car space.

Now I need to know... are reverse cameras also for girls and gays?

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[–] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That really clashes with the reality of how truck bros actually park. Or does it…?

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Truck bros park in the dead center of 4 spots.

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[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 160 points 1 month ago (3 children)

One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day's work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too "gay" for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like "I don't know what you think you're doing in there" and "I just need to make sure you're not doing anything funny". So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.

A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he's "not allowed to have an opinion because he's a man" which is the most double standard bullshit I've ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It's stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.

[–] TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml 134 points 1 month ago (8 children)

They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day's work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too "gay" for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like "I don't know what you think you're doing in there" and "I just need to make sure you're not doing anything funny".

Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?

[–] WadeTheWizard@fedia.io 72 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Washing your hands implies you touched your penis and touching penises is gay.

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[–] brandon@lemmy.ml 158 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.

[–] funkajunk@lemm.ee 75 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It's okay, you can say "fatty" here.

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[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 127 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I grew up in the 90s so just existing would cause people to call you gay.

[–] hactar42@lemmy.world 56 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The 90s. Cross your legs, gay! Wear a shirt with a loop on the back, gay! Express any emotions, gay!

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[–] superkret@feddit.org 98 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I was told I'm gay because I like knitting.
I mean, yes I'm gay, but not because of that.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 55 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Knitting is a form of computing and computing is women's work. So yeah, super gay, just like all the other programmers. ^/s^

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[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 83 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Making quiche for brunch. Apparently an omelet is fine, but a scrambled omelette is gay.

[–] BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org 40 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Right?!? There was this whole β€œreal men don’t eat quiche” thing that I remember from the 90s. What is unmanly about putting an omelette in a pie crust? It makes it easier to eat on the go and keeps better in the fridge.

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[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 82 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangelo’s David.

Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on

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[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 71 points 1 month ago (13 children)

Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.

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[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (14 children)

I went roller blading on the boardwalk along the beach during the pandemic and got called gay

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[–] Nojustice@lemmy.ml 68 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Washing your asshole... Seriously dudes, wash it anyway

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[–] prex@aussie.zone 67 points 1 month ago (4 children)
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[–] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 62 points 1 month ago (4 children)

In the 1990s in the UK, it was gay to wear a backpack using both shoulder straps (as opposed to using one strap over one shoulder, which was the heterosexual way to carry things to school).

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[–] Nath@aussie.zone 59 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Dance. In a troupe full of girls. Honestly, it was me and 15-20 girls.

Other boys literally called me gay for dancing, while they went and played whatever sports they did and then all went into a locker room and showered together etc.

I honestly never understood how they thought dance was gay. I don't understand it now.

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[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 56 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Oh god so so so many. I'm going to stick with music though for today.

You like ${artist}? That's gay.

Even more fun, "You like ${Track} from artist? That's the gayest track."

Guys are real quick to make sure everyone else knows how much manlier they are by what music they listen to.

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[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 56 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Born in the 70s. I've been called gay for nearly everything i ever did in the next decades. Didn't even understand back then why my assumed sexual orientation was something seemingly bad.

I've also called someone gay. He swore he was hetero but wanted to suck me off. Because dicks are so "aesthetically beautiful" while vajayays where just "disgustingly filthy axe-wounds" πŸ˜‚ He quit the friendship because i thought he was gay and dared to voice it.

That was sad and the best example of what this stupid world does to people who are just slightly off the "normal" path.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He swore he was hetero but wanted to suck me off. Because dicks are so "aesthetically beautiful" while vajayays where just "disgustingly filthy axe-wounds" πŸ˜‚

Dude was so deep in the closet he was crowned king in Narnia.

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[–] Zier@fedia.io 56 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Here's something to ponder. The next time someone accuses you of being gay for [insert lame reason here], ask them how they know that's gay? Are they gay? Funny how some "men" are so obsessed with "gay" stuff. Always remember, and never forget, closets are for clothes.

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I definitely employed this strategy in middle school

Doesn't generally work because logic doesn't work on these people

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[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 54 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 50 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Did you say "no homo" before doing it? If you did, that's just a brojob between alphas.

[–] DharmaCurious@startrek.website 47 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I love telling this story, but I'll warn beforehand it's explicit.

! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he'd never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn't pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said "no homo" when I came.

Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<

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[–] gerryflap@feddit.nl 50 points 1 month ago (7 children)

I've had a colleague say that tea is "homo water". I'm aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don't know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we've kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.

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[–] M600@lemmy.world 50 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Once I was at a hotel bar with colleagues and we were hanging out in some lounge area. The waitress asked if we wanted drinks, so I ordered a margarita.

Then they made fun of me for it. Like, what the hell does it matter what drink I have.

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[–] HatchetHaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 48 points 1 month ago (7 children)

okay, i'm gay, but this is still relevant.

my dad (who i haven't come out to yet) thinks colourful underwear is gay, and those are his remarks to seeing that i've packed both red and blue undies while we were on vacation last year.

like bro they're just colours.

[–] azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 40 points 1 month ago

When you’ll finally go outta closet he’ll be like: told ya, knew that from the start cuz of the gay underwear xD

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[–] promitheas@programming.dev 46 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (9 children)

Use chapstick

Read a book in public

Not go to gym

Play certain more "feminine" games

Those off the top of my head. I live in a nation of backwards idiots, so there for sure are more

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unisex clothing == male clothing

so still cant buy anything with colors or style or anything even mildly feminine without the gay thing being thrown around

[–] gjoel@programming.dev 45 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Use hand lotion. Dude, my hands are dry, back off!

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[–] Soapbox1858@lemm.ee 42 points 1 month ago

Playing tennis.

In jr high I had some friends who played football say my other friends and I on the tennis team were gay for playing tennis.

I had to point out to them that the tennis team was co-ed and we regularly made out with our female teammates on the long bus rides to tournaments.

While those on the football team were constantly manhandling each other, showering together and slapping each other on the ass to say "good game." But the tennis team are the gay ones?

They got mad, but dropped it.

[–] CascadianGiraffe@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago

Wearing a chain.

Chain necklace? Gay

Chain bracelet? Gay

Chain wallet? Also Gay

Chain mail. Well now you're a dork. And also Gay

[–] AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org 41 points 1 month ago (11 children)

Play a female character in an arcade game. Specifically the one in Golden Axe.

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[–] dantheclamman@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago

I remember kids telling me I was crossing my legs in a gay way. I asked them who said so, and they said their teacher. That was the first time I realized some bullies grow up to be teachers.

[–] Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 1 month ago

I got called gay for wearing a kilt in america. What's funny is I had my girlfriend as well as a female friend with benifits with me at the time. I didn't even bother responding.

I've heard plenty of guys say that doing any kind of ass play, even with a female is gay.

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