"I have almost enough money to where I can start sprinkling it down back to you in small doses."
Absolutely glorious.
Damn near Ken M level
He's not the Ken M lemmy.world needs, but he is the Ken M lemmy.world deserves
Made my days!
It's an absolute masterclass.
Saw a thread on .world talking about how Pepsi was bad for continuing to do business with Russia.
This genius commented "this is why I love consumerism, I can be a good guy just because of what soda I drink"
Dozens of upvotes, people agreeing with him, the libs wouldn't recognize satire if it hit them in the head with a 2x4.
oh fuck that's bleak lol
Delete this.
Let them cook.
You’re definitely confused. The number one type of theft is people stealing from shops and businesses. It happens all the time! Sometimes people come in a big group and run through the whole store stealing stuff just for the fun of it. You see it every day on the news.
Wage theft? I’ve never even heard of that on the news at all, it’s not happening every day like shop theft. But it is a problem. I have employees that I pay 8 hours of wages to and sometimes when I look at the security cams I see that they actually spent several hours sitting around chatting to each other instead of working so yes, it happens. But people stealing from the shop is still the worst kind of theft possible.
This guy is my hero lol
Like how is anyone taking this seriously. I'm dying I'm dying stooooop
minority of the opulent
Definitely one of us. They're channeling James Madison. 
He's a got dam Andy Kaufman. I low key wanna make an alt just to comment on his comments saying how totally correct he is
Oh dear
Facebook is allowed to remove whatever they want, if you don’t like it so much start your own Facebook and try to compete with them. If your product is better you will win in the marketplace
Just beautiful. Well done whoever you are.
What is a chapotraphouse and why are they talking about me? Is this a drug thing?
Mr Business Sir may I please have one employment. I have debt and a degree in paranormal gay studies
With debt it’s unlikely you would pass the credit score check to work for me
Welcome to drugland
Mr bussyness
250 comments in 3 days? I'm genuinely concerned, there's no way that much posting of just trolling can be healthy
yeah hope theyre doing ok
I’ll be honest since you and @GaveUp are showing genuine concern, that account is me. And yeah, I’m frustrated with a lot of stuff in my own life but also the world in general, but I’m OK, no need to worry about me.
I went to browse lemm.ee without an account just to see what the rest of the fediverse libs were up to and certain comments in an antiwork thread were bothering me, shitting on people for not wanting to spend their lives doing pointless drudgery. In stead of replying just telling them to eat shit I decided to make an account to roleplay as a capitalist and remind them that as a landlord and business ownerI already don’t work at all so their comments are dumb. I figured they wouldn’t know how to respond to that and they didn’t.
Then I just rolled around to other threads commenting as my new character. Mostly pretty low effort stuff but I ended up getting a lot of engagement from furious libs so I kept going. Maybe it’s not healthy, but at least a few times I made myself chuckle and this thread showing that at least a few of you guys got a laugh out of it too makes me feel a little better. And a lot of the comments I posted from work when we were slow so in a way I’m getting paid to post.
Also this was one of my favorites so far https://lemm.ee/comment/3264424 https://lemm.ee/comment/3252510
But also in some of the many threads where they’re raging about Elon musk not allowing Ukraine to target Sevestapol with Starlink I argued that he’s a private businessman and the satellites are his property so it’s wrong to compel him to use them for a military attack that could cause major escalation, and that made them VERY mad, those comments are sitting below -100 comment score.
Dying at “were living in 1984 and animal farm put together”
Sounds like you might want a catchphrase.
I’ll have to work on that, I think “no more half measures” is taken haha. The main tactic I’ve employed is taking the stupid shit libs do with “oh you don’t your job? Just get a different one” or “if you don’t like it here move to another country “ and applying it to every situation to expose how ridiculous the line of thinking is.
Oh, all the major auto manufacturers are violating their customers privacy? That’s a valid business decision, if you hate it so much how about start your OWN car company? 
I think repeating that you are a dictator was a good one. To remind people of that is good and sometimes drop hints that the only thing stopping you sometimes are unions or the threat of them.
Good advice, I'll try to make my burning hatred and fear of unions known
Great bit, keep it up if you can handle it mentally lol You replied once to me and I was rolling from your "bit of respect to the owners" shit. Good stuff, wanna see it mor
Thanks! It’s been fun seeing Hexbears recognize it as a bit while 90% of other users don’t pick up on the irony at all haha
I love the George Michael "I'm Mister Manager" vibes of the username 😁
Yeah, I think the username helps make it more obviously a bit so it selects out the engagement. The people who get into arguments with me are people who are eager enough to argue in the first place that they overlook the name and the over the top silliness of the comments, which makes for some fun interactions.
Hereby you are awarded the 
for exceptional posting capabilities.
Omg, thank you for the link. I wouldn't have bothered figuring out how to get there because I'm very lazy.
I’m the only one bringing common sense to these discussions at all
Wooooooooooooooooooo!
I hadn't seen this master at work yet!!! 10/10 perfect bit
invite them here so they can be truly appreciated
So check out mister businessman, oh-oh-oh
He bought some wild, wild life
On the way to the stock exchange, oh-oh-oh
He got some wild, wild life
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Vaush posts go in the_dunk_tank
Dunk posts in general go in the_dunk_tank, not here
Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from the_dunk_tank