this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2024
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Today I Learned

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The love scene in question:

At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.

More review snippets here. One includes the line, "do not read this book." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_the_Lost#Reception

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[–] simplejack@lemmy.world 72 points 2 years ago (1 children)

bulbous salutation my dudes

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Most non-non-heinous.

[–] graymess@lemmy.world 68 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It's like he wrote an already weird sex scene description, then right clicked every word and chose the last synonym on the list.

[–] cheesymoonshadow@lemmings.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Someone should start a community for that.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

There was a literary movement called Oulipo that did things like that. What comment-OP described would be a variant of a technique called "n+7": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oulipo#Constraints

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Being a big ou(x)po fan, they at least were good at their work. Highly recommended starting with Italo Calvino's Cosmicomics or If On A Winter's Night A Traveller

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Calvino is absolutely amazing! I devoured Cosmicomics and T Zero when I was in college. The Castleof Crossed Destinies is another one.

I admit, I had a bit of trouble getting through If On A Winter's Night a Traveler. I'm guessing it lost a lot in translation.

His book of Italian Folktales is also very good.

Edit: I just learned about, and ordered, this... a complete collection of the Qfwfq stories, including some never before translated into English- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Complete_Cosmicomics

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[–] MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What did he call it first then? A large hello?

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[–] shig@misanthropolis.xyz 34 points 2 years ago (3 children)

He’s said publicly that he hates sex, so I don’t know what anyone was expecting.

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 82 points 2 years ago (2 children)

He probably hates sex because it requires him to show up and actually perform.

[–] graymess@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Holy shit, that's a good burn.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Probably not the best person to write a sex scene in that case.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

I'd hate it too if i thought sex was whatever the fuck this is

[–] cornshark@lemmy.world 25 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)
[–] _pete_@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Odo@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago
[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 9 points 2 years ago
HORNY LEVELS APPROACHING 60 PERCENTAGE POINTS
[–] mememuseum@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I recall there was a dramatic reading of this text many years ago...

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[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 18 points 2 years ago

One can imagine him struggling to imagine the scene well enough to write it, then going to a toy shop, buying a Barbie and a Ken and spending the next half hour mashing them against each other in an attempt to visualise it.

[–] aasatru@kbin.earth 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Had young Morrissey known how pathetic old Morrissey would end up, he would no doubt have written an incredible soul searching song about it.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"Sixty, racist and dumb", or something.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 17 points 2 years ago

I bought it on account of hearing how bad it was. I wasn't disappointed. It's like The Room in book form, but with unnecessarily flowery language. Brilliantly shite.

[–] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

That's the worst writing I've ever seen. This guy writes for a living? Do people enjoy his works?

Edit: no, and no.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 12 points 2 years ago

Falls completely flat without Johnny Marr's guitar work.

[–] noodlejetski@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago

"hello, fellow sex havers"

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

If you read that in Morrissey's voice with "How Soon Is Now" as an earworm, it is slightly titillating.

ymmv

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I don't want to kink shame.

All I know is I don't want anyone's breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

I assumed that it was like motor-boating except with 360 degrees rotation, which is definitely a normal and not at all weird thing

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

All I know is I don't want anyone's breasts doing a barrel-roll across my howling mouth.

Damn. There goes a potential match!

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Have you considered providing the chesticles in such a scenario?

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[–] KrankyKong@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I've neen dying at "wacked and smaked" for 10 minutes

[–] BodePlotHole@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

He's hackin', wackin' and smackin'!

[–] magic_lobster_party@fedia.io 9 points 2 years ago

That’s a sentence

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Can someone feed that quote into the new, anything goes image generator? I wanna see what a bulbous salutation looks like

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 years ago
[–] cashmaggot@piefed.social 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I am going to guess he's just borrowing from something from his past but has trouble translating it into something people would more traditionally get. But ultimately, I don't know too much about Morrissey - other than at one point he was liked culturally (by those who listened to him) and then there was a sharp turn in which he is now greatly disliked. I enjoy The Smiths, although I'm not gunna lie and be absolutely honest in that I found them as an adult. But all things aside I am wondering if it's because he is quite vocal about his opinions and they are quite unfavorable. And once you are seen as an "enemy of the status quo" you are open for ridicule as a whole.

But also he gave things a go. Eh.

But I do know he spoke out against meat and the tories. So eh. But someone else is probably way more tuned in on this as a whole over <<< moi.

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 2 years ago

He's kinda a shithead. And by all accounts enjoys being seen in that light. IMO he claims more than his share for the success of The Smiths. Just listen to any Johnny Marr solo songs and it's clear where their sound came from.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] cashmaggot@piefed.social 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I literally started reading this and I just don't care enough to have this information floating around my head. I don't like celebrity worship. But I also hate bullying. And I consider sitting around laughing at people that. So that's why I figured I'd state something. Not so much because I want to defend Morrissey. More so because he did a thing, let sleeping dogs lay. Who gives a crap? And people can believe in whatever they want, as long as they're not plowing in to others. I do agree that celebrities should be more responsible with their beliefs. But I also think people are entitled to their opinions even if they're absolutely drenched in shit. I've got nothing else. You want him to fade? Don't bring him up. But bullying is for chumps regardless of how it's done.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sorry... you think by posting a thread about Morrissey's shitty book on Lemmy, I'm bullying him?

Because if Morrissey is on Lemmy and he's that easily bullied, let me say this to him: Get fucked Morrissey, you racist piece of shit. Your book is awful and you're worse.

[–] cashmaggot@piefed.social 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I think in general people gawking at one another is not only training us to react to things that challenge us with bullying (mockery) but equally it doesn't help us grow as a people. I hate racist, I don't benefit a damn thing from hanging with racists. But I will also say that racism is there. I am not going to pretend it's not. And I will also say that by thinking/talking/etc. feeding the media machine and filling it with someone's name you basically increase the chatter about them. Which I suppose you can see right now.

But that all together I would love the face of the internet to change because I think we're too prone to low-level jeering. And I think we can do better as a people. Which I would say is why I have never been on 4Chan and was very happy to leave Reddit. Because people who communicate like that in real life a fucking assholes. And I don't really want to be a part of that. Putting someone down, to pick myself up.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You are welcome to not be a part of people taking the piss out of a right-wing racist antivaxxer piece of shit. No one else seems to have a problem with it.

I am absolutely happy to show what an untalented hack he has become.

[–] cashmaggot@piefed.social 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

But ultimately it doesn't matter? And I just wanted to say that basically. That we're not gaining anything by sitting around pointing and laughing at someone. I mean we really aren't. And that was the stance that I wanted to take. That I think we could all use some more balance to our internet expression.

Which is a leap and a bound for myself, as I am a real fuck-face of expression. But ultimately I just don't think it's cool everyone sits around pointing and laughing at anyone in front of me or online I suppose.

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