this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] dead@hexbear.net 86 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I read the comments. The OP says she asked her mother about the bean jar after making the thread. The mother said that whenever her and the father had sex they would place 1 bean into a mason jar to count the number of times they had sex.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 105 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This is exactly the lie I'd tell my child if they asked about my fuck beans.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 48 points 3 months ago

That's way more wholesome than what I had in mind.

[–] AndJusticeForAll@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

What happens when the jar is filled?

[–] QuillcrestFalconer@hexbear.net 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] neo@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago

They make a new chilid

[–] MaoTheLawn@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago

they were putting beans in their asses weren't they

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 74 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Imagine being a full grown adult and not knowing how to fuck beans.

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 24 points 3 months ago

it's hip to fuck beans

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 54 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

damn.. never did watch that.. every time i tried to put the vhs in i was told i wasn't old enough yet

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You should now that you're older. I think we're heading for a hellworld that's part Idiocracy and part Demolition Man.

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago
[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 52 points 3 months ago (1 children)

is this what the kids call bussy these days? bean pussy???

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

here i am snortin like a pig

[–] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 49 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

this is what i assumed.. not sure what else they'd be

[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 37 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Urban dictionary: English breakfast

[–] shukufuku@lemmy.ml 32 points 3 months ago

They were jumping beans. Nature's vibrator

[–] Dingus_Khan@hexbear.net 27 points 3 months ago

Do not ask a question if you do not want to hear the answer...

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 24 points 3 months ago

This is kinda beansus

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

You put the beans in the foreskin as added stimulation.

[–] circuitfarmer@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 3 months ago

Mom looks in the mood

Dad pulls out the beans

"Ooooh" she says, eyeing the can

Dad opens the beans and caresses their surfaces

Mom starts to move slowly back and forth

She looks him straight in the eye, regaining composure.

"Beanboozle me."

[–] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 14 points 3 months ago

beanfucker

Death to America

[–] Futterbinger@hexbear.net 9 points 3 months ago

The father lost the ability to nut in a tragic skiing accident. Now he pokes some beans into his pee hole in order to skeet the beans all over his wife's tiddies at the moment of climax. But why beans, you ask? Easier cleanup.

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 4 points 3 months ago

It's what we meanis about beanis

[–] HexBeara@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

Is it an improvised vibrator? And how big is the jar...