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[-] kvasir476@lemmy.world 195 points 2 months ago

Why are they not talking about couches? What have they got to hide? Seems kinda suspicious.

[-] aaron@lemm.ee 54 points 2 months ago

I agree. It seems like something you'd deny outright. It raises questions about whether or not Trump is a couch-fucker, or if MAGA republicans endorse couch-fucking. Is this their political agenda? To fuck my couch? Or your couch? Are they recruiting my furniture into their couch-fucking culture? There are a lot of questions here.

[-] kvasir476@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

Probably gonna need a congressional inquiry to get to the bottom of this one.

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[-] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 months ago

I found some instructional material that might be helpful to Vance

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[-] magnetosphere@fedia.io 119 points 2 months ago

This was just a silly joke that got WAY out of hand. The author isn’t even trying to claim it’s real. Getting defensive and angry is the worst possible way to respond - therefore, I hope they keep doing it.

[-] usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml 40 points 2 months ago

It would be something to see a headline about JD Vance denying having relations with a couch

Wonder if it'll happen

[-] hddsx@lemmy.ca 37 points 2 months ago

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

[-] Meron35@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

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[-] usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"It depends on what the meaning of the word ~~'is'~~ couch, is"

[-] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

Not to completion, at least.

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[-] aaron@lemm.ee 23 points 2 months ago

You think fucking couches is a joke? Furniture abortions are at an all-time high and you think it's some kind of silly joke?

[-] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

Come on. You and I both know that those stats are cushioned.

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[-] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 108 points 2 months ago

“We do not want to risk Mr. Vance getting an erection on stage.”

[-] HWK_290@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

Interviewer: Please, take a seat

JD: Ummm, here? Really?

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[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 months ago

Oh please can we incept some weird mental link in his head between coaches and sex, I say send fan art

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[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 105 points 2 months ago

You don't have to talk to em, you just walk right up and grab em by the cushy

[-] TheBat@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago
[-] aturtlesdream@lemmy.world 68 points 2 months ago

Apparently, the only way to get under their skin is to sink down to their level a bit. It's funny how much attention some of this stuff actually got. They are just so weird!

[-] SGforce@lemmy.ca 49 points 2 months ago

It's not even close to sinking to their level. This shit is harmless. That makes it especially hilarious to see them blow a gasket over something so lame. Trump wants to take his ball and go home.

[-] Drunemeton@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

No, convicted felon, and genuinely weird creepy Donald Trump, will take your ball and go home.

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[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 56 points 2 months ago

"We're not going to talk about couches or coconuts or whatever weird fetish KamalaHQ is into," Cheung said, also referencing the coconut memes associated with Harris' political persona. "When we have something to say, we'll say loud and clear. If Kamala is a coward, we'll call her a coward. If Tim Walz is a liar, we'll call him a liar."

Weird way to not talk about couches bro.

[-] Davel23@fedia.io 44 points 2 months ago

Wait, lying is a problem now? Somebody better let Trump know.

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

Lying is only a problem if you’re a Democrat.

If you’re a republican they expect you to.

[-] usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml 19 points 2 months ago

when we have something to say, we'll say it loud and clear

Uh huh, like calling her a "DEI hire". Or maybe the implied racism is sufficiently loud and clear for them

[-] BlucifersVeinyAnus@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 months ago

It’s really a lot of couch talk for a campaign declaring no couch talk 🤷‍♂️

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[-] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 55 points 2 months ago

That’s ok because the rest of us are having great fun discussing it because it’s sofa king hilarious

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[-] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 54 points 2 months ago

C’mon Vance, don’t be a La-Z-Boy, answer the questions about your sectionality

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[-] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 42 points 2 months ago

I understand, I don't like when people bring up my ex either.

[-] No_Eponym@lemmy.ca 42 points 2 months ago

🎶We don't talk about couches, no no no🎶

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[-] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 38 points 2 months ago

You're not supposed to announce that you're not going to talk about something...

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[-] Minarble@aussie.zone 38 points 2 months ago

That’s because Flipper Vance is getting too much attention with all this couch action.

Anyday now Trump will crack and announce that he had lots of couches back in his day more than anyone and when your rich they let you do it to their couches with tears in their eyes saying thank you sir. Big strong men with big strong couches. Some of them were on the younger side to be sure but they liked the couches as much as I did.

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[-] boaratio@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago

Vladimir Futon.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 35 points 2 months ago

Narrator: “they’re totally going to talk about couches.”

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[-] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago

"I did not have sexual relations with that settee!"

[-] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 30 points 2 months ago

Sectional relations

[-] ZhaoYadang@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago

“Not going to talk about couches”? Oh yes you are. You’ve been hoisted by your own petard, and you’re gonna stay up there till we decide to take you down (we won’t, you deserve it).

[-] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago

Trump campaign refuses to deny that Vance sexually assaulted a love seat

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[-] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 2 months ago

From the article:

That's spurred criticism from the right that — even if the meme is tongue-in-cheek — Democrats are spreading baseless lies about one of their political opponents.

Because the Republicans would never stoop to such a low!

[-] just_another_person@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago

The fact they even have to say this in a PR release....WOW!

[-] usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml 29 points 2 months ago

Imagine being the person who just made a small little joke online that's now changed the direction of the election in a way

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[-] art@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Wow. Their silence on couches is deafening. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE?!

[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 28 points 2 months ago

We're gonna talk about them endlessly.

[-] FerroMeow@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago

Hmm curious why would Trump campaign hide this info from the voters?? Did Vance really fuck the couches and the internet just guessed right????

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[-] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

Convicted felon Donald Project 2025 Trump's campaign says it's 'not going to talk about couches', in reference to JD Couch Fucker Vance

[-] fox2263@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

COUCHES are being used in SCHOOLS to FORCE kids to have sex! We need to BAN these sick perverted couches. THEY want your children to stop having kids.

GET THEM OUT OF SCHOOLS

Or something deranged like that.

[-] bquintb@midwest.social 24 points 2 months ago
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[-] 58008@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago

If their voters are willing to wear t-shirts saying "real men wear diapers", we need to get in on this racket and sell "real men fuck couches" and "better a couch-fucker than a Democrat!" shirts, then after a certain threshold of sales and enough time for Vance and Trump to notice and comment on the phenomenon, we can reveal that the profits are being donated to Kamala and that every shirt sold has a secret message written around the image in a tiny font that says "if you can read this, you're a fucking moron".

[-] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
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[-] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 months ago

Don't worry, we'll talk about it for you

[-] recapitated@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

Sounds like it just did

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this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
532 points (98.0% liked)

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