Trump was like damb I need to pick a weird freak for my VP 
wait, I know the guy!
this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
215 points (98.6% liked)
Chapotraphouse
14332 readers
722 users here now
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
We were robbed of the perfect VP pick 
Santos has more rizz unironically
How do I pop open a warphole to that messy messy alternate universe?
1 too many letters in his name
maybe jd vance is actually george santos in drag twice
JorDge Svancetos
We are through the looking glass, people 
It’s not fair
Eric and Don Jr are the ones who pushed him to pick JD Vance, apparently.
We really need a Kendall and Roman Roy emoji.
I thought one thing Trump was smart enough to know was to never ever listen to his oldest sons. I mean he could've probably just asked Barron in a text like "JD Vance 👍 or 👎?" And get a response like "Dad, never make any of Don or Eric's friends VP" This is just common sense. He could've asked literally anyone except those two. Incredibly stupid decision made extra annoying by the decent chance we have to hear JD dipshit ass speak for 4-12 years. Kinda makes me want to make some delicious toast while taking a bath.
According to reports, he was going to pick Doug Bergum until Eric and Don Jr convinced him to go with Vance.
Burgumentum
I like to interpret the second part to mean he has a court order restricting him from being within 100 yards of a couch
100 yards of IKEA
2004 Swiftboat
2024 Horny Couch
This may not be the most important election, but it's gearing up for the funniest.
Let it not be overlooked that this guy isn't just a Kamala stan but an Elizabeth Warren stan, as we can see from the emojis communicating the wildly ill-advised "blood and teeth" slogan that the campaign staffers/volunteers had.
Medieval heraldry but for twitter handle emojis
Instead of the Guelphs and Ghibellines, we have bernie bros and warren stans
idk if I'd rank Warren as "worse" than Kamala except in the "bleeding off support from the left into electoral politics" sense
Kamala has a current Presidential campaign, the blood and teeth thing is from the Warren campaign in 2020. Whatever we might say about their political alignment, there is understandable reason for your Main Thing to be shilling for Harris. Warren is irrelevant.
she really did not get enough shit for being a pretindian. that should be a career death sentence no matter what, straight up.
Pretty sure his pfp has the Warren colour that committed stans were getting holocaust tattoos of the hex code
Blood and teeth? Elizardbeth confirmed Nazi furry ?
can someone explain the couch thing
Someone lied and said he said he fucked a couch in his book and put a random page number for it, people believed it for a little and then it got debunked.
One of the articles debunking it got removed i think based off the argument that you cant say for sure he didn't fuck a couch, you can only say he didn't say he did in his book which is adding fuel to the flames
basically what that other dude said two minutes ago, except i wanted to add that it's hilarious because he seems like the type. it's probably still true, but a few days ago if you searched JD Vance Couch on any search engine, it was all headline news items from big outlets saying that JD Vance didn't have sexual intercourse with a couch.
which, i dunno, if i see 9 articles denying an embarassing sexual rumor, i'm gonna start to wonder if maybe there's something to it.
The 10th Man Principle: If nine of us look at the same information and arrive at the exact same conclusion, it is the duty of the 10th man to disagree no matter how improbable it may seem. The tenth man has to start investigating under the assumption the other nine are wrong.
Vance fucked one, apparently.
He was one of the first “hot couch” guys
I never understood the hot couch bit but now I think I do
The kids are alright.