Lasagne - I got layers.

Orzo. I always tried to be like someone I'm not. Now I'm neither rice nor pasta.

Macaroni because I'm hollow inside, and unlike penne, have no point

Fusilli, because I'm screwed

Linguine. You're expecting some strong, has-it-together fettuccine, but instead I'm a plateful that can barely hold it together and is trying to play pretend at being one of the better pastas.

Spaghetti, because Im lanky, and annoying to handle when Im cooked

Wagon Wheel. Not because it's a good pasta. But because it's most likely to survive in the back of a pantry. Little to no sauce retention. Wagon wheel, for survival.

Macaroni because I have an unhealthy obsession with cheese.

An impasta because I'm a human bean.

I will block out the sun with my lasagne body! All will fear me! All will obey me!

Homemade ricotta gnocchi, because I'm rare and not from around here.

Shells. Because I'm less likely to get eaten.

Seriously though. Fuck shell pasta where they all stick together

Tri-color Rotini, since my color would be the first thing people noticed around all the other pasta.

I wish to be spaghetti but at the moment am feeling more like penne.

Copypasta, nothing more I want to be than a long overused block of text that clogs up threads all over the net.

I am also partial to shell pasta.

Fusilli, I'm cork-y like that and rather silly.

Bow tie pasta/Farfalle cuz I'm goofy

(I used to love eating those raw when I was little, how my teeth weren't affected is something for an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.)

Any, really. As long as I can use my noodle.

Macaroni, but only with cheese.

This is so that I can become ouroboros and infinitely devour myself

I would be mushroom bowtie farfalle (which I enjoy often) because I'm always just out of reach, even to myself.

The screwed one

Mafaldine because I look cute with little ruffles and there's nothing remotely straight about me

a sad lasagne: used in pretty much a single dish; it is the least enjoyable part of the said dish; it can very easily be substituted for, don't know, eggplants

I'd love to say campanelle, because I'm fun and stuff.

I'm a gnocchi, because I'm potato.

Orichiette. Cause they're like little bowls of sauce on their own. Each one of them a tiny flavour universe.