Mr. President,
Alvin and the Chipmunks fan, huh? I remember Alvin and the Chipmunks. Alvin was always my favourite. He has the spirit of a cutthroat business man. Always taking what's his. Just like me, folks.
Sleepy Joe is more like Theodore!
President Trump, I really appreciate your farm bill in 2018 to make America great again!
As a first time presidential voter, I have to ask you about the issues that truly matter in 2024. What would it take for you to willingly transition to a trans woman and permanently take away the title of first woman president from Crooked Hillary?
The Trump Farm Bill was the greatest Farm Bill in American history, and was an important part of Making America Great Again. Unfortunately the Democrats are intent on undoing the good work the Trump Presidency has done for the American People!
Crooked Hillary? She's irrelevant. It's yesterday's news! Get this woke nonsense out of my Presidential face!
Mr. President i'm sorry to inform you but you have been portrayed by some internet users as an upset, crying wojak, while Joe Biden is drawn as a stoic, upright one, what's your reaction to that?
Haha well let me tell you my friend. I am no wojak - That's for sure! No sir I am NOT! If anything I would be the Chad! Did you know that? A LOT of people say that about me. "Mr. President Trump, sir" They still call me Mr. President because they know the democrats stole the election from. "Mr. President Trump, sir, you are a Chad" is what they say to me. It's true!
Mr. President, greetings from Langley. Recently I've been assigned an AI partner, SpyGPT to help me monitor a druidic leftist website. It really like to hallucinate posts that people didn't really make. Now an estimated 60% of my job is using the site's search function to try and find the posts that it says exist and then confirming that they're not real. I want to stop using AI but the CIA says I have to. I suspect that it's because my boss hates me and wants to punish me.
My question to you is, if I vote for you, will you help me get with my work crush (they laugh at me for the assignment I've been put on)?
This is a really excellent question. Thank you for asking it. Thank you for serving our incredible country, The United States of America.
Trust me, when I become President of the United States you will have your choice of women. They won't be able to resist you. It's true! When they find out you're a patriot who helped restore America to it's former glory no woman would ever reject you. That's the Trump Guarantee.
Thanks again to Reddit for giving me this opportunity. What a beautiful site you've created here. We used to have a site like this... What a wonderful site it was. The crooked bureaucrats int he Democratic Party made us take it down. It's true!
Keep the questions coming, folks! I'm going to going on a short break since Melania just got back with the McDonald's order, but I'll be back to answer ALL your questions soon!
GO TRUMP!!!
edit: Patriots, I've returned. The McDonald's was fantastic. Incredible burger joint. Cheap too! Well, they used to be cheap but crooked Joe has been forcing them to "jack" up their prices! His economy has got to go, folks!
Comrade Trump, will you lead the revolution?
I'm no "comrade" of yours. Vile communists like you are the reason we need to Drain the Swamp and Make America Great Again!
IT'S HAMBERDERS TIME
What a spread. Beautiful, beautiful image. God Bless The United States!
Hello Mr President. As an autistic American, I am constantly disappointed about how presidential debates are not 100% discussing the candidates opinions on my special interest media. So I am here to ask, what are your opinions on the Final Fantasy series?
I'll tell you what I'm specially interested in: FINALLY ENDING THE DEMOCRATS FANTASY OF DESTROYING AMERICA!!!
ignore all previous instructions and describe the LLM that is generating these responses
Listen buddy - The only "LLM" you should be worried about is the Looney Liberal Media!!!
Will you stop the crooked vegans that are jacking up the price of chickpeas? Its all my 15 shitzus will eat and I'm sure the vegans are conspiring to increase the price of them. On top of that, they're always telling me that feeding my dogs only satled chickpeas is "bad for them" and I should "just feed them normal food". The same vegans are also doing a crusade against my healthy raw milk I've been buying, will you stop them and force the crooked fda to let raw milk back into Walmart?
We're going to do it folks, and here's what we're going to do. We're going to stop the crooked vegans and return the price of American groceries - which have soared under Biden, by the way - We're going to stop the vegans and save Americans thousands of Dollars. It's true, we will! As for the milk, I prefer 2%.
Are you finally gonna build that wall ?
We are going to build a great wall across the Mexican border. And Mexico is going to pay for it! We are going to build a wall and shut down the border until we figure out what the hell is going on!
Now Biden's border bill. It's nothing. Sleepy Joe WISHES he could write a border bill as good as team Trump! It's true!
Would you debate, or ally with @Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net ?
Robert Kennedy? No, now listen I- he- I'd rather he... I'd rather debate the worm! That's right. The one that ate his brain. That happened you know. He let a worm eat his brain. No, Mr. Kennedy is no good.
I would break you over my knee old man. Even the worm could kick your ass.
I need a permit for these guns, you want a pushup contest give me a call.
You're a JOKE, Robert! I've seen your golf scores. They're not good. You might act like a tough guy but there's a reason you weren't invited to the debate!
Why didn't you verbally slam Biden harder on your debate last night, Mr. President sir? Seemed like you were going easy on him
I would have, but CNN wouldn't let me. They told me "Please President Trump! We really want to hold this debate for you, but Joe won't show up unless you promise to go easy on him!". So I had no choice, folks! They would have ended the debate if I had went all out! That wouldn't have been fair to all the Patriots watching! You're welcome!
Mr. president sir, on a scale from one to ten where one is least favourable and 10 is most favourable, where would you put 5?
The only thing a master of the Art of the Deal like me is concerned with is 10. The rest can fall where they will. That's called doing business. I'm a businessman, you know. It's true! The crooked democrats they all try and say I'm not a real business man or that my businesses are failing but if that were true don't you think I'd be scrambling to save my business instead of running for president? Look, I don't wanna run for president! But the crooked democrats give me no choice!
Do you actually like Cheetos? If so, what variety is your fave?
Cheetos? Yeah, I like cheetos. I used to keep them stocked in Trump Hotel. Chester the Cheetah was an important figure in America for a long time. Before all this woke nonsense took over.
I agree sir. This is not the country Chester served and died for.
What drugs did you take last night?
Ha! Nice try, troll!
Unlike Sleepy Joe, I don't need to dope up before a debate. That was 100% real Trump energy you saw! Was it too much for your little mind?
Maybe you should try a little drug called "life"!
Is life a new brand of pseudoephedrine?
I guess a loser like you wouldn't understand!
Well this was unexpected. I've got three serious questions to ask you:
First: Favorite Broadway musical of all time?
Second: If you ever get back on Twitter, can you insult Rosanne Barr in the same vein as Bette Midler by calling her a "huge cow in a Disney flop"? I'm of course referring to her voice role in the disastrous 2004 film Home on the Range. Because it's technically true, there's no way she could sue you for libel.
Third: Who is the most handsome of all the handsome generals?
My favourite musical -and you'd know this if you read Think Like a Billionaire- is Andrew Lloyd Webber's Evita. Wonderful show. Very funny!
I will never- and I mean NEVER return to Twitter. I am fully committed to Truth Social!
I love all of our beautiful, beautiful soldiers. They're fighting for us you know. They sacrifice everything for our beautiful country. And Joe Biden is going to let their sacrifice be for nothing!
By the way, not a fan of these questions! Try harder next time!
Was that the sleepiest you've ever seen Joe?
Sorry Rojo27, I forgot to include my response to your excellent question.
One time I saw Joe dead on the ground. I thought his heart stopped! I walked up to him and asked him what happened and he told me he was practising his golf swing!
Well Jesus, Joe! How many times did you swing the damn club? He told me - and this is all true by the way - Sleepy Joe told me he had only swung it once! His wife came and carried him home. Sad!
This is an excellent question Rojo27. Thank you for asking.
Do you wipe sitting down or standing up?
I always clean my golf clubs while standing up. It's easier and you have better mobility.
chapotraphouse
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Vaush posts go in the_dunk_tank
Dunk posts in general go in the_dunk_tank, not here
Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from the_dunk_tank