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this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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chapotraphouse
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I was specifically talking about anonymous forums, Facebook is a bit different.
Just call people by their username, who gives a fuck what anyone is - that's the whole point of an anonymous forum. Maybe this is insensitive, but being misgendered on an anon online forum, open to the public, is not a big deal. If it effects you that much, there's a high likelihood you're narcissistic or need some counseling/exercise/sleep/food.
I don't care if you call me he, she or something in-between, at the end of the day no one knows who you really are in a place like this. So I'm back to: it doesn't fucking matter
To people who have spent their entire life being misgendered, it is
A single moment of positivity can outshine half a dozen moments of negativity
So we're helping the 1-2% of people, while emboldening narcissist tendencies in others and creating tribes though identity politics.
I can't count how many times people tried "har har, you're cis white male" as something derogatory
Obviously the opposite is true where non-binary/trans folk have had that happen to them as well from the other side of the isle - but this just shows my point of identity politics being part of this whole thing, and isn't necessary for us to get along and treat each other as humans.
I'd argue it might be better to not display it, so we can all converse without a preconceived notion as to what the other person is - so we're all treated the same.
This begins with acknowledging that some people don't fit into a neat binary category, if they even identify with the spectrum at all
The point isn't to form cliques, the point is acceptance. If one claims to support trans rights, but then misgenders that person and refuses to acknowledge how they would like to be referred, then one is not supportive of trans rights
Be better
Clearly I acknowledge people aren't always in a binary category
But people form cliques/tribes over this stuff - look at history and see what identity politics creates. What gender you identify as has zero real world difference, outside of how others perceive you.
I'd rather not be apart of that game
You don't get to decide that