Manager who sits in pointless meetings from 7am-3pm daily and collects their salary: You're an integral part of the team - thanks for everything you do, like write copy at the last minute for our new product when I frantically message you and the other competent underpaid people on your team on slack and ask who wants to 'help' me with a project. (literal thing that has happened to me - and no I was not even a part of the fucking marketing department)

Same manager but after you bring up the fact that they promoted someone who you literally trained when they were hired & still get asked questions weekly by, but you haven't seen any promotion or raise in 5 years: We had to promote them because they're taking on additional duties as part of the project they helped out with. You never seem to volunteer but I'd definitely recommend doing so, since that's the best way to move into a new position!!