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Donald Trump's Jan. 6 defense gamble straight out of Prigozhin's playbook
(www.newsweek.com)
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this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
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politics
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Honestly, at this point I'd be willing to let him run if it meant he stayed out of the Oval Office. He deserves to spend the rest of his life in prison, but I can't discount the possibility that the American voters will be stupid enough to let him back into power.
I'm willing to let him play dead simply because the dead don't talk.
Which is why he won't do it, he is physically incapable of shutting the fuck up.
I can just imagine him trying this.
Trump's lawyers appear in court: "We're saddened to announce that our client passed away last night. He died peacefully in his sleep and..."
Bing
Prosecutor: "Um, your honor? The 'late' Donald Trump just posted on Truth Social. 'I'm very much alive and in much better shape than crooked Joe Biden. My lawyers are going to argue that I'm dead to stop this WITCH HUNT and ensure that we can MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!'"
Trump's lawyers: "That was likely a pre-scheduled post."
Prosecutor (continuing to read): "This is not a pre-scheduled post."
Trump's lawyers: "President Trump wouldn't fake his death just to avoid charges. That's not who he is."
Prosecutor (continuing to read): "I would ABSOLUTELY fake my own death to avoid charges. This is exactly who I am."
(And, yes, I channeled a certain Austin Powers scene when imagining this.)
...One receipt for a Swedish made death certificate...
Cut his tongue and thumbs off first
he'll fuck that up, though. just as soon as people say mean things about him.
"We can flush him out of hiding. Send out a bulletin about his tiny hands."
“And if that doesn’t work, we’ll sell counterfeit toupees purporting to be stolen from his wardrobe,”
I wonder where he'd go. My bet is UAE. Russia seems like the likely choice, but he has done a lot of dealing with UAE, and they'd probably let him live in opulence.
He has a whole city specifically build for him in Russia. All of his acolytes can move there and form their USA Best Far Right Qult45 Fun Town.
I forgot about that place! I think he'd rather go to prison than live with his followers.
Hey me too
Let him fuck off to Russia while ukrops wiggle their way into position and give him the welcoming of a lifetime