traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
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Maybe I'll go back and add something tomorrow
I don't really belong in this community, but I come with a question that I can't really get answered elsewhere due to my sheer lack of social connections. If it's in any way unacceptable or inappropriate, please tell me so I can correct myself in the future. Thank you <3
CW: Potentially dysphoria triggering discussion about voice(?)
My wife is trans. So are a couple of my close friends. One common thing they have amongst all of them is that they feel dysphoria surrounding their voice and how masculine it is. Only one of them has voice trained and sounds pretty damn fem, another isn't training due to a severe speech impediment and self doubt surrounding that but wants to, the other desires to but has problems starting due to severe dysphoria.Now, all three show some desire to, but to my understanding there is a fairly sizable subset of the transfem community that has no desire to attempt voice training at all. That always struck me as odd, but since it's not part of an experience I can have, I can't really judge in any way. So when it boils down to it, why not voice train? It seems like one of the foremost necessities to pass in a public setting. So why not go for it?
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I have done some voice training and I did get some voice dysphoria...but also I kind of don't care too much anymore.
I'm a 6'1 lesbian with undercut, piercings and tattoos etc. Like even if I passed as Cis (which weirdly is happening a bunch lately anyway) I'd code as a queer woman.
I also having listened to myself don't think I sound as masc as I always felt, I used to get bullied for a vaguely effeminate voice (I have the fancier Australian accent due to wealthier/more educated parents).
I also don't want to lose my Australian accent that foreign Dolls might find sexy if I ever do travel.
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Voice training takes a lot of effort. I have a background in music and it's about as much effort as learning how to play in a decent amateur band on a new instrument. That's achievable for almost everybody, but it takes a bit of time and daily practice and a lot of people will find themselves not willing to put in that practice, especially when it involves regularly recording yourself and confronting your voice dysphoria, which just hurts many people severely. I get that some never get over that hurdle just because of that particular aspect.The end results can be really impressive, but when i did voice training (with an actual speech therapist, it's fortunately covered by healthcare in my country), i came to a point where i just had a major breakdown because i realized that the voice that was most achievable and most cis-passing for me was one that did not fit the kind of woman i am at all, that the trick for me was to just take all the pressure out of my voice and lower the volume and become totally hushed and meek and docile and i just broke down right there in my therapist's office because ... that's not me. I've spent so much time thinking about where my place in this world is, i've found so much comfort in being this strong, butch, maternal woman that always stands up for her sisters and dares to make a fuss. Really took effort to arrive there when it's so much harder for a trans girl to pull this off because so many of these traits lead to people calling my femininity into doubt. And that contradiction just was too much for me.
I do have fairly decent results, i absolutely sound different than before, but when my friends and me play some VN or RPG together in voice chat and voice act different characters together, i'm the one who can still switch back into a stereotypically male register without hurting her voice whereas several of my friends just can't do that anymore without being in pain after a few minutes. I'm not a fan of doing the sudden voice drop party trick among cis people, but with my trans friends i'm really comfortable with playing around with that kind of androgyny. It's part of the whole butch thing for me.
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Oh yeah this is a really good point I'm like a high powered professional/subject matter expert in my day job and I already get less noticeably respect since transitioning, so having a commanding voice is useful (I'm so much more louder too than prior to transition when I would mumble dysphorically).Not really the point of your comment but I love this so much and I really appreciate you for it. it's something I've noticed as I try to find my voice, both figuratively and literally.
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Yea pretty much how it is for a lot of trans women, fucking hate it, fucking hate voice training, fucking kill me
spoiler suicide
Yea I probably will just actually kill myself over voice training. I can't do that level of effort when it's like this, and to not even end up where I need to be. I literally may as well start planning. There is no point in living with a mutilated voice. :::
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primarily, i more or less don't care about passing. I'm generally fine with being read as a fuck ass gender gremlin because that's what i am. my voice doesn't give me dysphoria at all in a direct sense. it gets me misgendered sometimes but not consistently. so i just don't care to change it that much. i do think it has already changed sort of subconsciously a fair bit but i haven't done any regimented training. there is a part of it that's out of spite because i hate the idea that i would have to change my voice to get consistently gendered correctly, when i don't even dislike my voice. so it's not a high priority for me at all. i don't like getting misgendered but it just seems like too much work (and changing a part of myself i already personally am fine with) just to have that happen slightly less
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I don't think it's that sizable, it seems like to me a lot of the people who don't or haven't trained much is because voice training is really hard and dysphoria inducing. It feels like almost all the trans women I've talked to have been at least somewhat unhappy, or even very unhappy with their voice even if they haven't trained.:agony-shivering: that's what I've been telling you gays!
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I'll add my own data point
cw potential dysphoria
There are a decent amount of trans women who are fine with having a more masc voice. I know several cis women that could be mistaken for men with their voices and the idea that a voice must be of a certain quality to pass is giving in to cishet patriarchal ideas of feminity. Some trans women understand this and actively reject the idea of voice training. It can also be a useful tool to have a clocky voice as it can be effective at outing transphobes when you're trying to date, thus saving time and keeping you safer.For me, personally, I have no voice dysphoria but neither do I have voice euphoria. I am currently doing voice training because I want to attempt to get a voice that brings me joy to hear when it's played back to me. However, that doesn't mean I'm going for a "passing voice". I'm just trying to alter some of the minor annoyances I have with my voice like how mumbly and nasal I can be.
Thank you for your response. This was genuinely helpful to understanding. I suppose finding one's own joy in transitioning is undoubtedly the correct method to achieving one's own goals, not one created by outside entities or expectations. Honestly, that's a lesson we could all learn in life.