traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct
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Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.
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Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
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Bring a trans friend!
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Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
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Arguing in favor of transmedicalism is unacceptable. This is an inclusive and intersectional community.
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While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.
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WEBRINGS:
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::: spoiler alienation I guess?
You know how some people say "oh I feel like I belong!" when they are in a group, or how they show such feelings of belonging clearly in their actions? I'm trying to think, and I dont know if Im capable of feeling belonging. I can do 1-on-1, that makes sense and I can feel connection with a person. But in a group, belonging in a group, its not common experience for me. I dont know the last time I felt it.
There's always an awareness of my performativity. There's always a self censoring of my genuine thoughts and feelings, there's always the knowledge that my continued association with the group is dependent upon my falling within their acceptable parameters. Should I fail in that, should the degree of my existence that lies outside their acceptable parameters reach a critical threshold, I will be disposed of and no longer associated with.
Its really hard to feel safe enough to express my genuine thoughts and feelings. I just want to find people who I belong with, cause as it currently stands I feel deeply isolated from anyone and everyone when it comes to groups.
Anyway, I was in a large group of lesbians, trans and cis, last night. And I didn't feel like I didn't belong, but I did not feel any sense of belonging. A sea of faces that should have made me feel joy to look at, and instead I just feel fear and apprehension and uncertainty and distrust. I dont know what to do or how to perform, and its incredibly difficult for me. There's a reason I like people telling me what to do, it makes things clear, it makes things understandable.
I would really like to feel like I belong one day, for more than just a few weeks or a handful of months. It would be nice if it was along the lines of transness, but really just anything would be nice. Just a space where I dont have to perform and can be truly open and honest.
spoiler
This is how I think I'd feel with being in trans spaces. Its how I felt when I was around the only trans person who used to be in my social circles, making it more stressful being around them than cis people who just don't care. Trying to manage that while in a group setting would be so much worse.
spoiler
GOOD post, and such a mood.spoiler
This shit is so real.
Maybe it's a situation where if you just be open and honest, what remains afterwards is what you were seeking all along. It's the only real test. But it's scary.
::: spoiler spoiler
It is scary. And it is kinda the only way to do it but just, idk. I know im overly fearful of social correction and being discarded. Its hard to power through the automatic and learned behaviors. They keep me safe, but prevent me from being with others.
spoiler
I mean yeah, I often don't practice what I preach, and do a lot of self-censorship, even on this site. The idea of losing what you already have is terrifying. It'd be a lot easier if we were "normie" enough that our authentic selves could fit into most places. But this isn't our luxury.
If I had a way to overcome this fear, I'd have overcome it myself already