this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2026
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Baseball?
Edit: *Gasp. Downvote!?! Very well:
Top 5 oldest and heaviest MLB players active in the 2026 season, including their age, height, and weight:
.
Not sure where you’re getting this info from, because it’s horribly wrong.
Per Baseball Reference, corroborated by Savant:
Leaving aside that you’re calling 43yo/6’5”/240lb “old and fat”—that’s below average BMI even before accounting for BMI not accurately representing the fatness of elite athletes
And yet somehow the part where there are active MLB players who share names with Cold Play's lead singer and Carlos Santana is not wrong.
In true shitpost fashion, I make shit up as I go. I was too lazy to do any real research. I'm too lazy to verify your shitpost isn't doing the same thing. Either way, ponder this:
I would have done Bartolo Colón
🚨🚨🚨 slopper detected 🚨🚨🚨
Behold, an old fat fuck! (Chris Martin)
Pitchers stand there for a lot of the game and need to be tall to throw so it makes sense that most of your list are pitchers past their prime.
Carlos Santana plays baseball???
Is there nothing that man can't do???
https://youtu.be/JaaT_HRb4GU?list=RDJaaT_HRb4GU
These people are normal weight
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Young_(baseball)
6'5" and 322 lbs =
Also for age: Fifty-fucking-nine!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_oldest_Major_League_Baseball_players
BMI measures how statistically healthy one is if they were an American from the late 1800s. It doesn't work well with tall people because they didn't exist back then.
That's what all the fatties say. I'm JuSt BiG BoNed! Source: Am fatty.