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McLoosing my fucking mind
Not ok and feeling extremely anxious. Never drunk as much as I have these past few days. I can't deal with this. I don't want to. I wasn't really ready.
How do people stay sane? How can they even focus on anything in their life? Why am I haunted by my thoughts and imagination? Are these the hauntings and spooks max stirner spoke of?
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I was super busy and drained when you posted the other day, I'm so sorry sodium :meow-hug: I wish I had more to say. I'm glad you plan on cutting them off.spoiler
Np, although I was waiting for your comment.
I only fear that I do not have the emotional strength to do this. Regardless of how many sigma edits of fantasy edgelords I watch, I'm still too sensitive.
And also, it is kinda too early to conclusively say this. Maybe in 2 years time they will (pretend to) come around.
But I've had my trust in them broken too many times. There are too many times where I vowed to myself that I will close myself off to them after they beat me or screamed at me or hurt me. But then like an addict I came back. Because I'm too lonely.
It can be hard to cut ties with parents, even if they've been nothing but trouble for some of us. Personally, I was the last of the siblings to cut contact with my birther and she was hardly ever a parent. Its far easier when everyone else has already done the same. Hope either you are able to distance yourself from them or they become more tolerable.
They are experts at pretending to be tolerable. But I know deep down that they see me as property (not speculation, they explicitly state this). Still, they are very good at emotionally manipulating me.
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As long as you don't need them to not be homeless, get the fuck out and let THEM be sad that they lost you, you'll find better people to be around