this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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It's 2026, Finjamin. The handjob could also be given by two men! Or a man and a woman. Or a nonbinary person and a woman. Or...
But not two disabled people. Alas, this bench discriminates.
Mentally disabled, or physically?
Three wheelchair users could give double-handjobs to two seated men.
So the bench design still has you beat.
It's IMPECCABLE (im-pecker-ble), no slander that you level at this piece of ingenious public infrastructure will ever stick.
INSTALL THE PIT OF GENDER NEUTRAL HANDJOBS!
Unless it’s the wheelchair user dual wielding.
Maybe it's intended to let a homeless person give two handjobs at once. Did you ever think of that?
I see the vision now... "give a man a handjob and he'll still be homeless. Give a man a station to perform handjobs in the park and he might be able to earn a place to sleep if he's good enough at it"
Or yo mamma and yo daddy at once
False, their mama would take up both ends of the bench
their mama just that fat
We’re in 2026 now, you can get two flawless robot whatevers to blowjob you.
The xSlut by Elon Musk is on hold after several dicks were bitten off during testing. What's that? Nevermind I just received word that they're moving to immediate deployment.
My dad is dead, so zombie fan-fic fans can have a little treat
I need you to finish what you started. All combinations of options.
🌈
I normally don't read usernames, so I got fucking brain fried trying to figure out what a Finjamin is
Like, it looks like a word I should remember but it isn't even a word