Tactical spoons - not as a joke - should actually exist. For example - yer eating some cereal for yer chow but the enemy appears outta nowhere. Knife? You don't have it. Gun? You don't got it. Whaddya gonna do?

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Ninja edit

Whaddya gonna do? You're gonna spork 'em!

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 12 points 5 days ago

Honestly surprised that wasn't Cold Steel

[–] Meltyheartlove@hexbear.net 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

holds up spork ^_^/('''')

[–] Strayce@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Perfect for eating my tactical bacon

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago

Canned bacon: GIRLIE, GAY, COMMIE, BAD

Tactical bacon: STRONG, POWERFUL, MANLY, ALPHA

I bet tactical bacon costs at least three times as much. But what can the chuds do? Being ALPHA ain't easy or cheap.

[–] JustSo@hexbear.net 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It has a toy knife in the handle. Cute.

[–] Krem@hexbear.net 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

for when you're eating cereal but an ASSAILANT appears out of nowhere to ENDAGER your FAMILY

edit oh wait that's what the original post said, I'm slow

[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Ironically the one time a bayonet mount is a good idea

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 2 points 5 days ago

Capitalists innovation 10/10, no notes chefs-kiss