<3
Join our public Matrix server!
https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms
As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.
Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Discussing the name and history of a particular niche porn site and it's owner's identity journey (CW discussion of Porn, Slurs, dysphoria and brainworms)
So there's a niche porn site called "[plural of t-slur] in Trouble". Oof right? It does softcore Damsel in Distress BDSM videos and pictures, only more recently actual sex acts have been performed and on the more tamer side of things.Now it's an OLD website (and it really looks it too), it was started in 2001, 24years ago. It's owner, photographer, and occasional model, Sandra Gibbons is a trans woman. Now she didn't actually know this before creating the website. She identified as a crossdresser or transvestite. Which is where the name comes from, the early 2000s were a marginal period where the t-slur meant both trans people and crossdressers, see RuPaul having a song called "[T-Slur] Chaser" in 2009! Which I think is way too late honestly, but for context.
But an interesting thing happened, over times less of the models Sandra Gibbons worked with identified a cis male crossdressers, and more identified as trans women or non binary. And you see her undergo the dialectic of reflecting whether she is transgender or not through her blog. Dealing with many of the same dysphoric thoughts trans women have "It's too late", "I look too masculine" etc.
As it stands right now she uses Sandra as her name, she uses she/her pronouns, she dresses femininely when in public. She said in 2022 she recognized she had Gender dysphoria but wasn't going to take hormones, ~~and I really do hope she has changed her mind since then and quietly started since then.~~ [This is still my opinion but see comments downstream for context]
She has also talked about changing the name of the website. But as it stands it's a largely boutique trans-owned website that features trans women and has a fan base in trans women, there's definitely an aspect of reclamation of that word. I believe it doesn't really make much money, it's really just love of the game. And if she didn't squat the name, a big exploitative porn company would probably snatch it up.
Anyway I just wanted to share this odd and interesting story of a trans woman and her old ass website.
spoiler
Someone experiencing this should at least give hrt a try. Like yea you can be trans and not experience distress bc of your sex at birth but if you do, idk you should try and change that sex. There's no evidence this distress can be treated any other way.
In this lady's case too their is additional context which I posted in my reply.
spoiler
I think you're coming at @BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net a bit too hard here. This is not a transmed forum. People don't need HRT to be valid.There's is an organized attempt by states like the USA and UK to block access to HRT which can be life-saving for both children and adults.
For some of us as soon as we are aware something is wrong about our sex and gender, we get told by all levels of society "no you don't need the something else imperceptible that is missing". That is HRT.
Then if we try to get it, depending on where we are we may be subject to such extricating delays and humiliations. If we're even lucky to able to do so.
A couple of trans women on the internet saying HRT is cool and we think people thinking about it should try it does not make some transmedicalist conspiracy or invalidate our comrades who decide they don't want or need it.
Didn't see the original comment that was deleted and most likely not the case here but the "no HRT necessary" or "it's valid not to be on it/totally optional" type of argument also sometimes comes from people who may be gnc, gq, gf, nb etc with mild or no gender dysphoria and are usually in pretty safe and accepting social contexts. Or they're fine with some invisible cis presentation and don't feel they need it themselves. It feels more like they're defensive and worried about their own "true transness" getting questioned or something. I've had this exact argument a bunch of times and it seems like the opposite and equally tone deaf reaction to the transmed crap. Both need way more perspective taking, we don't all have the same needs or ability to be just fine without going on HRT or trying to get it for years.
spoiler
Not sure what the suggestion here is... that there's like some sort of ignorance of the constant legislative attacks against trans people and that's something flavoring things?? Don't think there are any shitlibs here who are gonna say that's not happening or that it doesn't matter. idk, just seems kinda non-sequitur almostspoiler
I'm saying that us saying "hey try HRT if you are thinking about it" are tiny voices against the shattering roar of nearly all levels of society saying "don't do it, don't you dare do it!"But I kind of wished I'd never posted the initial thing.
I really liked the original post
Thank you
spoiler
That's great for them. I sincerely hope they are okay with continued natal puberty and aging on their natal hormone.
That's not at all what I said. I said if you have distress coming from your sex at birth, you should try hrt. Not to be trans.
So I already said I didn't say the first part of this sentence, but even if I did say someone should try medical transition before considering themselves trans (something I did not and will not say) that would be much closer to saying a lesbian should try having sex with a woman before calling herself a lesbian. Also not something I'd say, but you are drawing a false equivalence to your strawman of my words.
Tell me then, how else can you treat this distress from your birth sex? I haven't seen anything credible. I would love for this to be an option.
i was in a bad mood due to other things and unfairly took it out on you. sorry. i wont be interacting with this post further.
Its completely okay, you don't need to apologize. I was too strong. I only hope there's no hard feelings. I like seeing you around and value you as a person.
No hard feelings either we've all been there lately
Hey you're right I phrased that poorly and without context. I was trying to edit myself down but took out important information
Of course trans people who don't want hormones are valid. The brainworms I meant were identifying as a crossdresser and generalised dysphoria stuff.
In the blog post she says she doesn't want to take hormones because she thinks she would still seem too masculine which seems like dysphoria rather than comfort in her own body
And she doesn't seem entirely happy about that decision
Emphasis my own. This doesn't to me seem someone completely certain about their decision. My point was more that hormones can give some people enormous mental relief without having to have any physical side effects. So yeah I think it would be great if Sandra gave them a spin, decided "hey I like this" or "Hey I don't need these" etc
Thanks for your time.
Edit I'm linking the full blog post but it probably needs adjustment because of the slur remover https://removedintrouble.com/wordpress/archives/1998