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master manipulators
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this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2024
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Humans are just exceptionally weak to cute. If aliens ever show up and try to conquer us, we're going to be so screwed if they happen to be adorable.
"ca wi go see de wokets humie? wi wana see de big ones fly hiiiiigh"
Even if they were horrors beyond our comprehension, a whole lot of people would be still be very sexually aggressive towards them.
Honestly that may be what saves us. They try to manipulate us by being cute, we weird them out by being horny.
It would be so funny if they left bc of kink shaming.
"KINK SHAMING IS MY KINK"
ACK ACK ACK ACK splat
War of the Worlds got absolutely the wrong reason for the aliens to leave.
Speak for yourself, I hope the furry aliens make me their pet.
(Source: SMBC)
Well, I guess you're getting screwed anyways
Maybe he likes getting screwed.
I would love the life of a house pet as long as I can play video games instead of sleeping all the time.
We just collectively need to convince our new overlords that it’s enrichment and just let me keep it I already have it, and I’ll be totally friendly and compliant whenever you want, I can pause, it’s cool.
Would it change your mind if the aliens are responsible owners and neuter their pets?
Got my tubes tied when I was 27 (no kids no interest).
So nope, not in the slightest.
Yeah, I mean I can multitask licking their tentacles while I game.
It's all fun and games until de-worming time.
How many people have worms? I thought that was rare... Am I missing something and Kennedy is actually not an odd-ball?
Not many people have them, but the aliens don't know which ones - and they already have the anal probe equipment handy.
Shit, here I thought we were all going to just take heart guard haha. Your way doesn't sound as fun.
almost all animals and a lot of people too have worms, most of them aren't really dangerous though, so no worries.
but it's less prevalent in humans than in other animals due to hygiene or sth
source: i read it somewhere
What's great is when they show up and become furry because they decide that furries have devised the best possible social system in the cosmos
There's a Philip K Dick short story about this, "The war with the Fnools"
If aliens turn up and they're like "Give me snacks. And a fluffy bed." I think we'd be like "...aight."
Aww nibbler