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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns
Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.
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Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct
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Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.
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No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.
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Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).
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Bring a trans friend!
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Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.
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Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.
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When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.
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While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.
If you need your neopronouns added to the list, please contact the site admins.
Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!
Matrix Group Chat:
Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny
https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat
WEBRINGS:
It's totally possible to be trans without dysphoria. The notion that "Dysphoria is a requirement for being trans," sometimes referred to as transmedicalism, is pretty much a baseless standard initiated by cis people to create some way of gatekeeping so "the transes don't get too crazy for us normal folk to handle." Trans women who say things like "I didn't hate being a man, but I much prefer being a woman" are way more common than dysphoria discourse would get you to think. Transmedicalism, of course, has been internalized by trans people, and it virtually always coincides with an unhealthy sense of internalized transphobia.
To give my two cents as an enby, this feeling sounds marginally similar to what my thoughts were like in that in-between phase of going from identifying as binary to non-binary. Though I wouldn't say I "enjoyed" being a dude, it didn't feel as bad compared to being a woman in some way, shape, or form. Once I realized that androgyny is a thing and that non-binary people can medically transition and experience dysphoria, it became pretty clear to me what I was in that instant. However, like I said, you don't need dysphoria to be trans, but the truscummy myth that "it's impossible for enbies to be dysphoric" kept me confused for a long ass time. I didn't know if I preferred he/him or she/her, and because of such a myth being internalized, identifying as non-binary or with they/them pronouns was out of the question for me. Once I accepted myself as non-binary, I realized I'm fine going by any and all pronouns.
As far as "liking and desiring women" goes, just to be totally clear, sexual orientation and gender identity don't have anything to do with each other intrinsically. There is a common myth that all trans people are straight, i.e., trans women are exclusively into men and trans men are exclusively into women, but trans people can be gay, lesbian, bi, pan, ace, etc.
I'm the total opposite on the "growing old" point. In fact, thinking about myself growing old with my body on testosterone rather than estrogen was one of the thoughts that got me to think "I'm definitely not cis." I can't speak for whether or not the repulsion about growing old as a woman is linked to a sense of internalized misogyny, but as a black transfem, shit has been hard. However, I saw no merit to pretending to be cis. I just couldn't do it no matter how deeply I tried to repress. Since your experience with dysphoria (or maybe lack thereof) is different than mine, it may be a lot more confusing for you.
One myth that still prevails in trans communities is that there is such a thing as "transitioning too late." Though one can argue that it's better to do it early simply due to the nature of aging, there are trans people who have transitioned so many decades into their life. I personally recommend taking your time with it, especially since you're on the fence about whether or not you truly want to do it. There really is no actual time limit. Also, just know that a discrepancy between how people will treat you and how you feel on the inside can cause cognitive dissonance. I'd have moments of saying "I'm a cis dude" and then say "I'm a transfem" the next simply because I knew the former was "acceptable" but the latter felt "more like myself but it'll get me in trouble." This led to me having to weigh out my options.
Big, impactful decisions can be positively impactful. I really hope a lot of what I said resonated with you in some way, and I know with enough thought, you can find your path. I don't want to ever speak in absolutes to another person questioning their gender because gender identity is ultimately personal. Sometimes, it's so personal that being trans can literally just feel like vibes.
Good luck, comrade