this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

RULES:

  1. Your post must be a screen capture of a microblog-type post that includes the UI of the site it came from, preferably also including the avatar and username of the original poster. Including relevant comments made to the original post is encouraged.
  2. Your post, included comments, or your title/comment should include some kind of commentary or remark on the subject of the screen capture. Your title must include at least one word relevant to your post.
  3. You are encouraged to provide a link back to the source of your screen capture in the body of your post.
  4. Current politics and news are allowed, but discouraged. There MUST be some kind of human commentary/reaction included (either by the original poster or you). Just news articles or headlines will be deleted.
  5. Doctored posts/images and AI are allowed, but discouraged. You MUST indicate this in your post (even if you didn't originally know). If an image is found to be fabricated or edited in any way and it is not properly labeled, it will be deleted.
  6. Absolutely no NSFL content.
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[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 100 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

I am vacationing in Florida and a few days ago this guy swam up the drain and into the bowl.

There's no reason why a snake could not do that.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 44 points 2 years ago

Yeah but it's Florida, not a civilized place.

Cute toilet freg though.

[–] aspitzer@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 2 points 2 years ago

Happy cake day!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Forget the racism and the bigotry and Ron DeSantis and the humidity and the palmetto bugs...

For this reason alone, I am never going back to Florida.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

My real question is "did the chemicals in the toilet water make that frog gay or not?

[–] Voran@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Squee hes adorable

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I have lived in Florida 90% of my life. I have never had a frog swim up the toilet pipe or even ever seen a frog in a toilet. How does that even happen?

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 83 points 2 years ago (2 children)

If you are worried about late marriage you can easily avoid it by going straight to cats and a manfree lifestyle.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Cool, but to make room for the cats I had to flush all my snakes down the toilet. Am I doing this right?

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Oh shit, flush the snakes?? Not the husband??

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I don't see the contradiction.

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Lolololol, good point!!

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Worst thing for women's friendships is marriage. Stick with your fellow ladies. Live in a big house together and embrace the sorority lifestyle. Reject the Patriarchy, abandon legal monogamy, and embrace Amazonian thought.

[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This sounds awesome. Can I become an honorary woman so I can get in on this? I come with a 100% little brother vibes guarantee.

[–] Shelena@feddit.nl 2 points 2 years ago

Yes, little brother vibes are good vibes. 👍

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago

Please 🥺

[–] celeste@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago (2 children)

New bottom surgery just dropped!

[–] zammy95@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Anyone have any tips on how to un-read a comment?

[–] celeste@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Come on I write way more unhinged shit >:3

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

This could save Americans millions in health care costs!!

[–] pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 28 points 2 years ago (2 children)

What does 'late marriage' mean? Like getting married when you're older?

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 66 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Doing it at like 8pm. By the time it's over and you're done with the reception it's too late to hop a plane and go on a honeymoon.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

OMG yeah, what a nightmare. I hate getting married after 8pm. It's so inconvenient.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Why wouldn’t someone want to get married late? Like, they’re too old to have kids? If they wanted to kids wouldn’t they get married sooner? Or adopt any time? I think person is just talking about themselves.

[–] Norgur@fedia.io 23 points 2 years ago

Well, nickname checks out, I guess

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Kid on my street got bit on the ass while peeing in the woods and died. Valid fear.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Guy, had a similar fear all growing up too, except that I was afraid it’d bite my butthole (no idea why there, but whatever), not sure how I ever got over it.

[–] tacosplease@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Let me know if you ever remember how

[–] lugal@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Don't call your future partner "it"

[–] MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Unless you want a cool nonbinary objectkin partner

[–] lugal@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Sure, to each their own

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Spiders swarming out of the toilet and killing me has been in the back of my mind ever since I saw Arachnophobia as a kid.

[–] grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I saw a horror movie as a kid where a guy was killed by something (snake, maybe) when sitting on the toilet. It made me very anxious when using a toilet for a long time. I think the movie was dreamcatcher based on the Stephen king book but I was only 6-7 when I saw that part so I could be completely wrong.

[–] seaweedsheep@literature.cafe 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You're remembering correctly. That's how the first character dies in Dreamcatcher. Stephen King was recovering from a car accident and was on oxy when he wrote the book if that helps explain anything.

[–] VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Thanks. With being so young when I saw the scene I wasn't sure if I just imagined parts of it.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

"Car accident" is putting it mildly. He was walking down the road and a van slammed into him at full speed. He apparently went completely over the van and into a ditch. It's amazing he's still alive.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Only a hidden snake? What if they weren't hiding?

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That's just Ralph the Toilet Snake.

He guards the knife.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

I have a toilet snake. You can buy those at any hardware store y'know.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

If the snake wasn't hiding and she saw it, then she was asking for it when she sat down.

[–] Flummoxed@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I blame Ghoulies especially because of the cover.

Honestly thought it was a Gremlins movie cover until now, but man if seeing that in the video store aisle didn't make me slam the lid on the toilet and run out and slam the bathroom door as fast as I could for several years...

[–] NauticalNoodle@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

This movie scene had me double checking the toilet before sitting down for at least a decade.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

The rat in the toilet in Raymond Briggs' When the Wind Blows freaked me out for years afterward and I still occasionally get a little freaked out about it.

Bathrooms make me anxious enough in general as it is.

[–] ech@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

Easy, just don't be holding the bad-luck teddy bear while your friends are scamming a magic bank out of some magic batteries.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I'd rather the snake.