I'm not sure whether or not this was supposed to be a joke post, but I recently had a colonoscopy, and everyone was super nice and fully aware that this was an embarrassing procedure, so they did their best to make it as pleasant as you can be in a surgical waiting area.
I felt myself falling asleep, then seemingly immediately blink awake. I said, "Doc, I don't think the anesthesia is working," and he said, "Ha, no man, we're done."
Like you said, the prep was the worst part. There is no joy in daily living without food.
Same here. I've been put under twice and both times it basically just felt like a longer than normal blink and I felt a little slow afterwords.
a longer than normal blink and I felt a little slow afterwords.
writes on notepad Patient reports heightened self-awareness following procedure.
Mine too! Then i said, "It wasn't that bad. I can't believe i stressed over it for so long," and he said, "Yep! You should have come in 32 years ago." And that was the most uncomfortable part of it.
The prep was awful. That was the part I really hated. Being so damn hungry.
I work in Radiology, and have to do Barium enemas, frequently. As much as we love the humor, we strive to keep it medical, with patients. We all know it sucks, can feel embarrassing, etc, but we're just trying to get the job done with the best pictures. Your physical body is kind of secondary to what our goal is.
Does it help if you say its Very Berry Barium?
(I think Very Berry Beryllium alliterates better)
I've got a feeling they won't know what flavor it is, but I might start asking patients what flavor they want, from now on. Thanks for the idea!
It was both a joke and my real life. I hope I have a similar experience. I'm a virgin after all... for this anyway.
"You won't find anything. The IRS was pretty thorough."
Ha. Good one. Take my upvote and thank you for your service.
Ask them if they'll be shooting in hidef 4k or IMAX.
I lost my wallet, keep an eye out please.
Alternatively.
"If you happen to see a Standing Liberty silver dollar from 1885 while you're spelunking, I've absolutely no idea how it got there. But could you try to get it out?"
"After this can you write a note for my wife to tell her my head is not, in fact, up my ass?"
With your rectum. The man sees you crush a piece of ice with that sphincter, you command some respect for the rest of the procedure.
You're going to want to avoid looking like a huge ass. I'd avoid jokes that shit on their career choice.
I had to get my ass checked and the doctor was surprised at my lack of shame or discomfort with it. When it was over he said "don't come back just for this okay?"
Put a joke on a post it note and place it between your butt cheeks.
"We've been trying to reach you about your vehicle's extended warranty"
The pros laminate it and insert it about 12 inches.
Stick a lightbulb in your butt. There's a good episode of scrubs they can watch if they don't know how to get it out.
Call me a good girl, daddy.
The genders will be the other way around, but I like the cut of your jib.
Thumb war it is.
one holds the ice pick, the other bangs with the mallet
The benefit of accidental lobotomy is that the patient won't remember.
Colonoscopy is easy, it's endoscopy that felt like near dear experience (I didn't take the sedative= fail). Worth it though. Also the Dr's and techs were far to busy talking about the next hairpin bend like they were rally driving. The satnav on the screen shows how far the scope has gone, I shit you not it really looks like the old Nokia snake gane. And when you have nitrous gas it all becomes very funny.
Ask them if they're going to buy you dinner first.
Ask them what their Twitch handle is because your friends want to watch the live-stream.
Keep an eye out for our next president.
I'm ready for my close-up
Tell him sorry you ate some bad Indian (or some other spicy food known for loose bowls) food last night.
They'd probably cancel the appointment if I said that, not gonna wait another 3 months to try to book my favorite activity.
After this do you want me to do you?
You won't need to break the ice when your ass squirts shit water allover his hand and bed
Heck, it was basically all water by that point, 24 hours of laxatives will do that ;)
Potable even.
Do a few shots with them.
“Please be gentle”
Just tell them a shitty joke
Tell them if they find $2.10 worth of nickels, they’ll have almost recovered it all.
Something something Loch Ness monster.
I have a colonoscopy tomorrow, so I'm definitely going to use one of these!
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
