507
The Count is going to start teaching kids about corporate profits. "One billion extra dollars untaxed! Ha ha hah! 2 billion..."
Oscar the Grouch is going to be a working homeless who is forced to move his can every week by police.
Oscar the Grouch's living situation is basically aspirational now. "You can afford to live in a trash can all by yourself? Like, no roommates or anything? Wow!"
Oh man, a lid? I don't think I can afford this place.
Have you never seen the inside of Oscar's trash can? That place is a palace. He's got an olympic size swimming pool in it. He also has an ice skating rink and a bowling alley.
A veritable Snoopy house
considering his trashcan is basically a TARDIS.... I'd take it.
I think he has a few roommates actually 😂
Crabs no count!
Count explaining tax brackets would actually be kinda funny
I don’t think he’d explain. What, ah, do you think he’s talking about here, huh?
(FYI it’s an unnecessary censorship, so possibly NSFW.)
He's clearly explaining his love of perusing and discussing classified documents.
Between this and Elmo asking if everyone is OK, it makes me happy to see these characters in the current zeitgeist!
Yeah I just wish it wasn't because we need them to get a message to the white house
Work with the media they'll pay attention to, I guess?
The Media has been bought and paid for. The real shock is that Elmo and Cookie Monster haven't.
They'll never control the Street.
Cookie Monster is onto something: OREO Double Stuf Chocolate Sandwich Cookies shrank by 6% in size by weight from January 2019 to October 2023, according to a report based on Labor Department numbers.
Double Stuffed Oreos are the new regular Oreos and regular Oreos are now 'go fuck yourself' sized.
I like that honest branding. "Go fuck yourself Oreos", "Eat a dick Craft Mac and Cheese", "Piss-off sized Tide Detergent"...
Nah, the Piss Tide detergent variant is BIGGER for extra effectiveness when you've pissed yourself.
Piss Tide actually works historically.
It contains no extra detergents, just more water in the package.
Regular oreos are the new single-ply toilet paper equivalent
🥺
The cookie monster receives better representation than most of us do.
He's a celebrity. They usually do. Even if they're puppets.
And you'd think, with the democratization of fame, everyone would be famous, now. I mean, used to be if you wanted fame, you had to pack up and move from bumfuck nowhere and go to Hollywood, work as a waiter/waitress/whatever, and attend casting calls in your free time. Now, with the Internet and cameras that fit in our pockets we don't even need to leave our houses.
Except that isn't how fame works. Fame is actually a transactional process. The famous person does something in exchange for attention but they do not get attention unless they offer something the average person can't- they're prettier or funnier or a better actor or whatever. If you can't offer that, it doesn't matter if everyone has their own TV show. It only matters if your TV show is the one people want to watch.
Unfortunately, in general, their actual morals and ethics are not taken under consideration by a large number of those who give them the attention they want.
Technically, he's a government employee.
I n c o r r e c t
PBS is a nonprofit private corporation.
Too bad he moved to HBO
He vicariously represents US/us
The Cookie Monster is Joe Biden's new economic advisor.
I'm not complaining.
Me think rich people not taxed enough. Me also think wages too low.
The right: "Stick to your lane! You're a cookie expert not an economist! Trump says keep celebrities out of politics!"
Haha no Biden wouldn’t care about that part.
Could be an improvement compared to whichever corporate plants are currently on that side of the revolving door 🤷
You know the economy is in trouble when goddamn Cookie monster is speaking up about it.
Makes sense. Biden was prattling on about shrinkflation a few weeks ago when he was trying to pretend he was looking out for the common person suffering from capitalism eating all their economic growth for decades.
It’s such an easy target to look like you care, without doing shit. Oh this cookie is 13% smaller? I’ll get right on that, ignore the 1300% corporate profit increase, the stagnant wage growth for 63 years, the CEO wages growing 9300% compared to workers, etc, etc.
What is it with sesame street starting mass hysteria lately?
this post was submitted on 06 Mar 2024
507 points (99.0% liked)
Not The Onion
12135 readers
1512 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS