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[-] ConstipatedWatson@lemmy.world 76 points 10 months ago
[-] shootwhatsmyname@lemm.ee 20 points 10 months ago
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[-] airbreather@lemmy.world 47 points 10 months ago

I'm good until I run out, I guess.

[-] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago
[-] cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago

I dont like this game

[-] SmokedBillionaire@sh.itjust.works 24 points 10 months ago

Finally, my time to shine.

[-] MudSkipperKisser@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago

A little slimy and unconventional but I’m up for the challenge

[-] shootwhatsmyname@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago

Oh hey you could monetize this too

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[-] NoIWontPickaName@kbin.social 23 points 10 months ago
[-] shootwhatsmyname@lemm.ee 9 points 10 months ago

at least you’re decisive

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[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 20 points 10 months ago

I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out

[-] Bonehead@kbin.social 20 points 10 months ago

I'd say pretty fucked, one way or another.

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[-] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago

Pretty sure my time would be up.

[-] ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 18 points 10 months ago

I planned for this exact scenario

[-] the_stat_man@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago
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[-] the_kung_fu_emu@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

I'm more worried about innocent bystanders tbh...

[-] jerrythegenius@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

emu war ptsd intensifies

[-] WarlockLawyer@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

Either I'm a lawyer for warlocks making sure they don't enter tricky contracts with devils, which I assume pays well, or I'm a lawyer and a warlock so will soon have my own TV show.

[-] captainjaneway@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

Matlock the Warlock.

[-] MY_ANUS_IS_BLEEDING@lemm.ee 15 points 10 months ago

The cure is worse than the disease.

[-] ArmokGoB@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 10 months ago

Let loose the flaming giant elephants of war

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[-] Squidcopter@kbin.social 15 points 10 months ago

I have food and transport, I think I'll be ok.

[-] Pepsi@kbin.social 15 points 10 months ago

It’s great.

It’s the choice of a new generation.

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[-] TechLich@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

I guess eternal life through some profane kind of undead cyborg magic... Bad maybe?

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[-] SecretSauces@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago

I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.

[-] emmanuel_car@kbin.social 14 points 10 months ago

Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.

[-] ImPoopin@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago

Guess Im poopin.

[-] TheBest@midwest.social 13 points 10 months ago

Pretty good I think!

[-] Vanth@reddthat.com 13 points 10 months ago

Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.

On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.

[-] lagomorphlecture@lemm.ee 12 points 10 months ago

I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.

And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.

I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.

I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.

I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright

[-] Ibex@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

My mighty herd will protect me! 🐐

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[-] BigBlackCoffee@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 10 months ago

Well, I guess I will be up all day and night.

[-] UnculturedSwine@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

I have meat at least

[-] TheDarkestShark@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

I guess I'll just jump into the nearest body of water, even better if it's at night.

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[-] bradorsomething@ttrpg.network 11 points 10 months ago

I guess something is better than nothing.

[-] Sensitivezombie@lemmy.zip 10 points 10 months ago

Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.

[-] apfel@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

Well I won't have any problems with doctors I suppose

[-] doc@kbin.social 10 points 10 months ago

I'm in GREAT shape. :D

[-] Texas_Hangover@lemm.ee 10 points 10 months ago

I'm used to it.

[-] HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.one 10 points 10 months ago

Can i manifest it as a super power?

[-] 20inmyhead@lemmy.ml 9 points 10 months ago

I guess I’m in my twenties forever now‽

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[-] eatthecake@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

I'm pretty happy.

[-] otter@lemmy.ca 9 points 10 months ago

Roll around in some kelp and then float away

[-] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened

[-] 0oWow@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!

[-] WeLoveCastingSpellz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I cast spells

[-] solomon42069@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I'll be fine with the powers of the wizard king of Israel, weed and dinner for two...

[-] NorthWestWind@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.

Not happy about this, but present

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this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2024
122 points (80.8% liked)

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