Microblog Memes

I'mma about to ruin medical shows/scenes for y'all. And once you see this, you cannot unsee it. the source for all this is the 15 years I spent riding in the back of the bus as a medic.

When you see a scene in the ER and a critical patient arrives, all the doctors go rushing into the exam room and start doing things and arguing about what to do. If we put this stupidity aside for a moment and roll back the scene to the beginning we will see the mistakes the show makes every time.

First, doctors don't rush into the exam room the moment the patient arrives. The doctor, just one and not a whole squad of them, will wait for a moment or two to let the medics and nurses get the patient on to a bed and the triage nurse gets the medic's report.

When the Medics and the cot leaves the room, the doctor will walk to the doorway and stop. Most of them will actually lean against the door jam and just look for a minute or so. They are making their first assessment of the patient from that distance and begin to formulate a treatment plan. Doctors are ACTUALLY TAUGHT to do this medical school. And they practice it because it's hard to remember in an oh shit moment and hard to do. Even us medics are taught the same thing. If the TV doctor does NOT do this, this is your first warning that this a bullshit medical show no matter what the producers and actors claim about realism. This is basic and fundamental to ER medicine and would be soooo easy to do. This is the point where I'm out and ne'er to be seen again.

The second mistake that gets made is that the doctors themselves do very little of the actual treatment of the patient. They stand off to the side and tell the nurses what they want them to do. The nurses do most of the work. The doctor observes and directs. Only if a procedure that requires a doctors skill and knowledge to do, do they get hands on. So that's the second bullshit thing in these shows.

And finally, doctors do not consult in the patient's room unless it absolutely can't be avoided. Which is very rare. They have a room, generally behind the nurses station where they go for that. I have been in there with doctors on occasions when I asked for a teaching moment to further my skills as a medic from one of them. And no matter what hospital, that's where we would go.

I stopped watching Stranger Things because in a show about demons from a parallel universe invading a small town, I couldn't get over a soccer mom breaking her friend out of a Russian prison camp.

That broke the realism for me.

I can relate to this. A movie asks for suspension of disbelief, and I am happy to grant that. But then it has to present a coherent world for which I suspended my disbelief. If it doesn't then I wasted my suspended disbelief and that's annoying.

It didn't stop me from finishing Prometheus, but what grinds my gears is when the supposedly biologist was trying to pet the alien and it attacked him. Any trained biologist would know not to try to pet animals which you don't know if it's timid or not.

Whenever evil antagonist broadcasts his evil message on every major advertisement screen and TV in the world (and PC/mobile device), with full audio.

I don't nitpick over really minor things, like the wrong snakes and such. I can understand unrealistic silly if it makes sense for the movie.

What I can't stand are plots or situations that can only exist because the writers don't know what the fuck they're writing about, or lack any imagination in making plot reasons happen.

Battlefield Los Angeles is one of those movies I just can't fucking stand because of this.

The snakes were not even dangerous in any way, they were mostly ball pythons if I remember correctly, those are neither venomous, nor eager to bite, their usual reaction is to curl into a ball. Oooh so dangerous! The common theme is to use non-venomous species (for obvious reasons) and people do not notice, since they usually know jackshit about reptiles, and ooh aaah snakes! Scary!

I also laugh, when there is some "super dangerous spider" or something, and then it is always of one of the slowest moving, least venomous, most docile tarantula species. The worst thing with those species is, they might kick itchy hairs on you, and the fangs make a small wound, if you manage to somehow make them bite. But aaah! Spiders! Scary!

Also hilarious when they use goddamn show bred huskies for wolves. Oh come on.

I rarely do that, but i did once with 28 Weeks Later where the army when they found out someone is infected inside the colony, just made everyone come out of their own room that is safe and isolated, and wait inside a huge room, which inevitably caused everyone to just get nibbled and infected. They also ordered personel to station at the place where they're unprotected from sprinter, and inevitably got nibbled and turned. I just give up. The series never recovered after that from what i've heard.

I'm very forgiving in this regard, as long as the movie is entertaining, I'll go along for the ride.

I did have a related weird thing happen once, though. I don't remember what movie I was watching, but about halfway through I suddenly realized everyone in the movie was acting and I couldn't watch anymore. It was a weird feeling, like they were all just lying to me, which of course they always are, but I was suddenly offended--"WTF? This is all bullshit!"

Maybe it was terrible chemistry. Maybe I subconsciously noticed all the subtle clues that the actors hated each other, but were pretending to be friends.

I suppose the one thing I can't forgive is a complete lack of chemistry between the actors, and that killing their performances.

What kills me. The smart person, call them a leader in molecular biology. That can suddenly fly a space ship. Operate everything in said space ship. Write a computer program, in excel, to translate an alien species. Like come on dawg. I get it. You’re smart and make a fun movie. But the whole 1 person that is a fucking the expert in literally everything that happens is just getting old.

The TV show 24 killed me with how he was able to do much in an hour when it could easily have taken 30-1.5 hr just in travel time around cities like LA.

For anyone who doesn't know the show premise was each episode was 1 hr in a 24hr period where the main guy has to stop some kind of terrorist or otherwise crazy attack with dozens of sub plots and things he has to do per hour too. But somehow he travels across major cities in minutes.

Normalise removing your interest and presence from bullshit situations 👏🏻

The one that gets me is people flying backwards when hit by a bullet / shotgun blast.

I can accept it in movies that aren't going for realism, even though it annoys me. But, I've seen it in movies that are trying for a gritty realism aesthetic, and after that I just can't enjoy the movie. Add to that movies where silencers go "pfft", or someone uses a pillow as a silencer, or people shoot guns without ear protection or hearing damage.

I lost it during Raiders of the Lost Ark when Indy stowed away on the outside of a U-boat and then rode it like a thousand miles across the Mediterranean or wherever they were. I guess they thought submarines just buttoned up when they left port and nobody ever went outside on the conning tower. And they never dove or anything.