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I once saw a Mom at an information desk at an art museum take her fussy, fidgeting toddler, gently lay him down on the ground, and put her foot on him, Captain Morgan style:
Kid didn't cry or try to escape. Thoroughly impressive. Might plant the seed to awaken something in the kid when he hits puberty, though.
I appreciate the helpful diagram
Kid heard the phrase "step on me mommy" and asked his mom what it meant, the mom pondered how to answer.
Seems I'm in a rare group where I think leashing kids is fine but also think that joking about it is fine. ¯\(ツ)/¯
Edit: fixed smiley (maybe?)
I'm in the same group. My kid is pretty young (just turning into a toddler) but I could see possibly needing to leash his ass in the future. I also would laugh my ass off if someone asked me in public if he was a stray or made some other joke about it.
Can't take life too seriously but I get people might feel like the joke is insensitive. I suppose I also have a horrible sense of humor and what I find funny might be actually offensive to others at times so ... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
When my son was a toddler, I had an older aunt who had no children, but plenty of opinions on how they should be raised. We were visiting one time, and planned a visit to the zoo, and she just insisted that we had to get a leash for him, or he was so going to get away from us, and end up in an animal pen, and get eaten, presumably.
I refused her many orders to get a leash (I didn't even know where to find one, this was before Amazon), and finally just flat out told her that there would be no leash, we would just have to do our jobs as parents and adults, and actually pay attention to him.
And he only got into animal pens a few times. He hardly got gnawed on at all. He was fine.
Get a leash! You want another gorilla to get shot?
This is precisely the 80s VHS parenting payoff I was hoping for
Toddlers can cover the distance from the sidewalk to under a car tire faster than you can blink. Ill never judge a parent for having them on a leash.
The muzzle is a bit much though.
The little bag dispenser hanging off the handle is great if they're not potty trained yet too.
For some children, they can teleport non edible items into their mouths. The muzzle is necessary
I know a person whose kid has ADHD and was constantly running carelessly into random directions, failing to immediately react to their mother shouting them to stop. There was so much spontaneous and uncontrolled running here and there that the only option seemed to be to constantly hold their hand.
Eventually the kid's mother came to the conclusion that the kid will have more freedom if she's kept on a leash instead of having to hold hands. The time they had to use the leash didn't end up being many months, either. In the case of that family it was definitely a choice that increased the psychological well-being of the child and supported their development of motor skills.
You can never know what the reasons are, so go careful with judging!
Yeah, exactly this. Some kids are just different and it really isn't a fault in the parenting that the child is likely to put themselves in a dangerous situation.
Caring for a kid like that is plenty exhausting enough without the snide remarks of fully grown adults that like to entertain themselves at the child's expense. The kid I cared for didn't have a harness but in retrospect that would have been pretty damn handy.
Interestingly, children are way more understanding than most adults.
When you're walking in a public place overrun with people, no separation between road and sidewalk, multiple other hazards and a toddler who only moves by running full speed, I do not see a problem with putting a harness and lead on the kid. Parents try their best to pay attention at all times, but when you're this tired, it's good to have the insurance. If you want to judge someone's parenting, judge the ones who ignore their kids so they can spend more time on their phones
As a leasher, I know what I'm doing. My one kid is nuts. And you nailed it.
I never had anybody be a dick about it. Most people throw a pet joke, which is funny. But I can't imagine taking offense to it.
Same here. There was well-intentioned (though silly) joke. However, right after I explained why I was using the leash, they were very understanding. Also met random people in Manila who praised me for it and said that it really needs to be more common (if there is a city where you need it, it's Manila)
Being on a kid leash saved my life. I don't remember this first hand, but my parents often tell about the time they took me to a ball game or something and I fell through the bleachers which was over 30 feet high. The leash prevented me from splattering on the ground.
My kids were leashed in public spaces because we knew they’d run off and they’re too young to give helpful information to find us.
Security guards thanked us because dealing with scared kids was one of the worst part of their jobs.
I had one who would strip and run. I wrote my cell number across the back of their shoulders with Sharpie when we were on vacation and letting them play in the park.
Mine never did that but we knew kids who did.
Good job working the problem.
Spoken by someone who never had a child who has disabilities and is hard to keep with you, sheesh.
As a parent who had one on a leash. It's fine. I thought it was funny. My life is a joke anyways.
Even without any particular care needs or neuro-differences, a lot of kids can sometimes be a danger to themselves when out in public. Our public spaces are not designed to mitigate this, and it tends to happen at a stage when their ability to understand and obey verbal instructions is low (or at least slow), and physically controlling them is extremely unergonomic for the adult (too heavy to constantly pick up, too short to constantly hold their hands).
I will never look down on a parent with a leashed kid. Rather a safe kid on a leash than a dead kid in the streets.
I'll often look down on a kid themselves, but only because it is impossible to regard a being who is less tall than me without looking down u.u
[explaining the joke]
Subverting expectation of disrespect by indicating purely physical and logistical reasons which contain no value judgement of another person and therefore no commentary upon the concept of respect
It's not bizarre. It gives the kid some freedom without risking the bolting the second you're not looking.
Mine thought they were the ones leading us around. So people can chill with the faux projected outage about indignity that the kids are not feeling.
It isn’t bizarre to the parent with a kid who will bolt, but still deserves to go outside.
Edit: Just to be clear, this is a pro leash comment.
My kids are very well behaved, not just compared to other ADHD, but to any other kid. However, let them pass the ADHD tipping point where they are too tired, excessively stimulated, over sugared, or god forbid, all 3 at the same time, and they will do the most insane shit just because 2 neurons accidentally bumped together and gave them some stray thought.
You know where those 3 things coincide? At the airport. Among crowds of thousands. Where you can actually lose a kid. I leashed my toddlers at the airport. This also lets you deal with gate attendants and baggage check in. Outside the airport I would tell them to hold my leg while I dealt with counter staff. That way I knew they were with me but had both hands free to deal with paperwork.
I always struggle with this idea that it's ADHD, but maybe there's more than just the ADHD going on.
I have severe ADHD, combined type (inattentive + 'hyperactive'), but running around the airport or mall away from parents was never an issue. The worst I did was climb into clothing racks at Stein Mart because I was bored out of my skull when my mom shopped there.
The main thing I think is I also got taught to let her or my dad know if I wanted to go look at a thing, so they knew where I was if they couldn't come with, and to let them know again if I wanted to look at another thing.
I don't know if there's something specific I was taught or guided on that caused neither me nor my sister to need that kind of supervision, or if there's a different neurological condition that leads to the bolting, but it ain't ADHD on its own, even severe.
Straight up, toddlers just bolt it's in their hardware. Half your job is keeping them in sight and reach of a panic sprint.
I'm a mom with adhd but I didn't know it then, I just knew I had to keep them front and center of my attention or in this case literally attached to me due to the environmental distractions for all of us. Everything else can fail but one must not fail to keep track of the bebe. Oops the car got repoed, the gas is getting turned off, oops I have nothing to wear to the wedding. Fine. I still got this funny little lemming safe and sound.
Hang on I'm going to go hug the grumpy ferret it grew into.
I'm less concerned with people who leash a toddler than I am with those who won't leash their dog.
Here's a picture of your normal family OP
Oh so it's okay when the KIDS are on a leash, but when I'm wearing one, I'm a "freak" and I'm "being asked to leave the costco". Damn double standards.... I could run into traffic TOO you know!
Looks goofy. Keeps people safe. I'd call that a fair trade - it's a tale as old as PPE.
If we're going to criticize peoples' parenting, I'd turn your sights to the dipshits who are sacrificing their children to antivaxxism (which simultaneously sacrifices YOUR children to antivaxxism if the viral mutations they're breeding up manage to null the efficacy of vaccines in the already-immunized).
Gotta say, I'm appreciating the comments on this post a lot more this time around - last time this was posted there was a lot of anti-leashing sentiment.
I'm just trying to figure out - did the people on Lemmy change? Is it the time of day? Pretty sure it's the same community as before!
Timezone is a big one
Leashing kids I'm betting 8 times out of 10 is uncalled for and controlling and stupid.
But you don't know circumstances, and let me tell you, I've met some kids. Sometimes it is appropriate, so I try not to judge.
Even if it is 2 out of 10 that it's appropriate for, those people are going through enough shit without me side-eyeing them. Probably ain't my business.
FYI, a leash gives a toddler more freedom than the alternatives. Strollers and hand holding both restrict movement a lot more than a leash.
Fuck no, im a pro leash parent.
as an ex-leash autistic, I would have definitely run into traffic or just straight up disappeared had I not been
My mother leashed me and twin if she had us solo. Which is like. Fair? How you going to deal with two little runners by yourself?
Mother hated doing it though cause other people in the late 80s were so fucking judgemental about it.
Of all the shit in my childhood, being on a leash did not affect me. So leash them kiddies up.
I've watched kids bolt. Some of you need to touch grass and interact with your neighbors.
Ok I was of this opinion until I had an autistic son. He's crafty, fast and enjoys doing whatever he is told not to do. He's almost run into traffic several times. We caught him, but barely, enough to make me reconsider this idea. I haven't bought him one, but I understand.
When I visited a friend in the states back in 2019, I saw a small Russian family who kept their kid on a leash when we visited the aquarium. Initially I was amused, but once that died off I just found it clever. I, a grown ass-man managed to lose my friends in the crowd a few times, that family never lost their kid.
I'll never have kids, but if I did, I'd be leashing it in that kind of situation too.