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Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
Jimmy Johns: similar to Pei Wei & PF Chang's, there is a fancier, more expensive version of the restaurant named James Jonathan.
Fiat: Fix It Again Tony 🤌🏻🤌🏻
Google: it used to be an in joke with my friends to say "giggle it" instead of google it. Now we don't use google of course...
Best Buy: Worst Buy
Target: it is pronounced "tar-jay" because it is the fancy version of Walmart
Comcrap Slaveway Krueger Home Despot
I mean microslop is pretty dang good
I usually call them Microshaft
Less good but also M$
Micro$lop
I bet they wish people had stuck with "Micro$oft"
Swasticar
And their premier vehicle, the CyberStuck
I have a queer friend that calls his GMC Yukon his Gay Man's Chariot. When we go places in it he usually initiates by saying something like "to the chariot"
That is both awesome and the best acronym for GMC I’ve heard. The best one I’d previously hears was Get My Chequebook.
Electronic Farts
Cockstar Games
Ubibad (pronounced You Be Bad)
Micro$haft (pre-MicroSlop era)
Nintendon't (thank you, SEGA)
Jizzard-Gotnovision
The American embassy for McDonalds
There's a gas station chain called Kum & Go but it's also referred to as Jizz and Jet or Ejaculate and Evacuate.
Skeet & Yeet
Bust & Bounce
Nut & Bolt
Blow Your Load and Hit the Road
Nut and Bolt is fucking great!
Nut & Bolt is getting added to the repertoire. Something about how the double meaning relies on changing them from two nouns to two verbs tickles something.
With a name like that you could say they were screwed from the start.
There could be a whole thread just on the variation's of that concept, but the most obvious for a gas station has to be "Pump and Dump"
When I had a Samsung TV, I hated it intensely and printed a label that said "scamsung." That TV eventually went to the recyclers with that label still covering the Samsung one.
McDonalds→McDicks→McPenis. I'm mature.
Whole Foods -> Whole Paycheck
Walmart is its own insult.
I’ve never understood this. Whole Foods consistently costs less than competitors in my area.
Samsung --> Samsucks
PlayStation --> PayStation (Not a company name, but close enough)
Found On Road Dead
Just Empty Every Pocket
Fix It Again Tony
Fehler In Allen Teilen (failure in all parts).
Drips Oil Dirt & Grime Everwhere (or everyday)
I prefer "Find Immediate Alternative Transportation"
And wanted to add "Acutely Unreliable Despite Investment"
I prefer "Find Immediate Alternative Transportation"
I haven't heard that one before! That's good!
Ive heard Fix Or Repair Daily
There’s a trucking company called Swift that gets a lot of flak for hiring inexperienced drivers. One of the nicer ones is So What I Failed Training. The rudest one I’ve heard ends with Toddlers, you can probably work out the rest, but you probably shouldn’t.
See What I Fucked-up Today is another good one
Stevie Wonder Institute For Trucking is my personal favorite
Charbucks
Starfucks
"Home Despot" is one of my favs from Joey Santore of crime pays but botany doesn't.
Nintendon't on account of their rabid intellectual property protection and litigious nature.
Works as both what they might say to would-be infringers as well as advice to avoid them. (Which people ignore because Zelda, Mario and childhood memories.)
Sega started that. “Sega does what Nintendon’t.” Going back to the 80s. Maybe 90s.
Interesting. For as long as I've been alive, it hasn't been legal here (UK) for a brand to specifically name and disparage another brand in their advertising like that. (This doesn't apply to political parties, for "reasons", but I digress.)
That is, I'm not sure how it came to be in my head. I had thought I had come up with it independently, but I have to admit there's a chance I've seen someone else use it over the intervening decades, and it has ultimately come from the advertising you're quoting.
Food court near me named Choices gets called "Chances".
Pontiac stands for Poor Old Neanderthal Thinks It's A Cadillac.
When I grew up it wasn't neanderthal 🫤
Ford = Found On Road Dead
Dodge (n.) - To avoid
And, Fix It Again, Tony.
McDeath
Burger Death
Needless Markups
How Not To Build
McDoogles and Brogger Krog for mcds and burger king. Not sure why..
Fiat: Fix It Again Tomorrow, Lotus: Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious
