this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 73 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Not seeing the issue here. Sounds pretty wholesome to me actually! A bunch of boys hanging out. Unknowing to the horrors that adulthood brings. Soon high school will end. Soon college will start. Some of your friends will drift away. Some you won't even notice until you realize one day it's been a while since you hung out with that one guy. The one you're not best friends with, but sometimes he'd be around. Except he hasn't been around for months, and you're just now noticing. Other friends you notice right away are gone. They get accepted into a college on the other side of the country. You claim you'll keep in touch, but lets be real. You're both going to be super busy with college. You'll drift away from one of your best friends over the next few years. It's neither of your faults really. That's just how life is. You spent your whole life with this guy since you were 5 years old, and now as you transition into adulthood you become strangers. Then one day you wake up, and realize you haven't seen any of those friends in 20 years. All you do is work six days a week, and run errands on the 7th so you have enough supplies to handle the upcoming week. Now even the burnt out face in the mirror looks like a stranger.

But at least they'll have the wholesome memories of being in a costco as teens and eating chicken together. Before it all fell apart.

[–] waterbird@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

this hurt to read. i hate how well it captures that feeling. why the hell is adulthood like this? we grind people into paste and don’t even realise how much we have lost of what they could have been. sigh.

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 17 points 2 weeks ago

Stop whining and get back to generating shareholder value. You can block out your emotions with subscription services.

[–] Aqivex@fedinsfw.app 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Goddammit, fine. I will go to the next reunion, and I will bring chicken for the lads, for old time's sake.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And maybe some pot? Remember when we were kids, and smoking in the ally, and saying how weed will never be legal in our lifetimes? Welp. It's legal. In our lifetimes.

Hey, wanna play this disc of MP3s I burned onto a CD? It's got Oasis, and Sublime in there somewhere.

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[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

I should call him...

[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Sounds pretty wholesome to me actually!

Unless you're OP

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I can have trouble assessing tone sometimes so I might be way off, but the OOP seemed more amused than upset to me, maybe?

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah the post was clearly a "lol teenage boys do crazy stuff sometimes"

Which is fair, and correct.

[–] schmorpel@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] crank0271@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks for getting it

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[–] TomMasz@piefed.social 37 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Teen boys are eating machines. I remember when my kids were teens and a bunch of boys came to the house. It was like a plague of locusts. They pretty much emptied the fridge. I still fondly recall pulling out a pickle jar they had eaten all of the pickles out of, leaving just the brine.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 14 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Hey, the brine is delicious.

[–] kalpol@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 weeks ago

Best thing when dehydrated. Shot of pickle brine chased with a liter or two of water

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[–] lookitsjustin@lemmy.ca 24 points 2 weeks ago

You can each have one rotisserie chicken, as a treat.

[–] horn_e4_beaver@discuss.tchncs.de 23 points 2 weeks ago

Well, eating one chicken does count as eating a whole food.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 2 weeks ago

When I was fifteen, I could totally eat an entire rotisserie chicken in a single sitting. I was also gaining height by inches at a time.

[–] kestrel7_7@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

In high school my one friend had a big trench coat, and we would use it to sneak rotisserie chickens into the movie theater.

[–] zanyllama52@infosec.pub 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm down for some trenchcoat chicken

[–] elevenbones@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I've worked at several theaters in my life, always amazed by what gets snuck into theaters, ive even seen big family buckets of KFC

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[–] 666dollarfootlong@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Little fellas probably getting into gym culture

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[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

In my day it was onions. We wore them on our belts

...which was the style at the time.

[–] BeUnique@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Shit man one upon a time those chicken's were like $5 a pop. Cheapest and fastest way of getting a ton of protein in by far. Now not so much. The last time I bought one I think it was double that in price. This is why we can't have nice things. Companies gotta get greedy.

[–] raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

While I don't disagree on companies (having always been) getting greedy, getting a whole cooked chicken for 5 bucks is only possible through industrial factory farming of livestock with horrible animal cruelty. Try raising, slaughtering, plucking, gutting and cooking a chicken for that average price without basically creating a torture concentration camp for chicken.

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I wonder if we'll ever be able to solve the animal cruelty problem through brute force technology. For example, genetically engineer chickens so they simply never grow a brain. Raise the brainless bodies hooked up to an intravenous feeding system. Could cram more of them in a smaller space that way too. Can't be cruel to a thing that isn't conscious in the first place. Sort of a poor man's lab-grown-meat approach.

Amusingly, most people would probably find this a lot more horrifying than factory farms, even though objectively the animals would experience absolutely no suffering whatsoever, as they wouldn't even have the minds to comprehend anything about themselves or their environment.

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[–] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 4 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

I'm pretty sure that beans and lentils have always been cheaper than chicken.

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[–] DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

Average 15 year old behavior.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

You will never know the hunger of a 15 year old boy unless you were one

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Being a teenage boy is hungry work.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, when I was going through puberty, the family was going through a burlap sack of rice every month.

[–] frog@feddit.uk 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Damn... how much was that chicken in Whole Foods?

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

They are about $8 for roughly 2 lbs at about 1000 calories a lb if you eat the skin and all the meat.

That would be completely reasonable as a large meal as it is about half the daily calories for an average sized male teenager, especially if they are very active.

[–] darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Am I misreading your comment, or are you saying an average male teen needs 4000 calories a day?

[–] NoPanko@feddit.uk 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

If they are active then yeah, 4000 calories is not at all unusual as a teen.

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Damn, maybe that's why I didn't grow

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 10 points 2 weeks ago

This is unironically a big part of why people, on average, used to be shorter and why populations become taller as their country/region becomes wealthier.

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Easily. From 14-17 I lived on a 5,000 calorie diet and struggled to gain weight, between marching band, PE, shop class, an avid skating hobby, a girlfriend, and growing in height. I could have easily eaten an entire chicken at the time.

Growing takes a lot of calories.

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[–] absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 7 points 2 weeks ago

Fake.

If this was real, they would also have had a loaf of bread each. Hard to miss 15 loaves of bread.

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

At the Whole Foods, cracking open a hot one with the boys.

[–] Polisheocket@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago

Probably football players. It’s almost hell week

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

As a active teen and even into my 20s I could eat two medium all-dressed pizzas, I'd fold them in half to eat them faster, then go biking for a few hours, then shit out a Douglas fir that evening.

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[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago

Living like kings.

[–] Modern_medicine_isnt@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Is this a commentary on how much food a 15 year old can eat or on shrinkflation. :)

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