In high school my one friend had a big trench coat, and we would use it to sneak rotisserie chickens into the movie theater.
this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2026
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I'm down for some trenchcoat chicken
I've worked at several theaters in my life, always amazed by what gets snuck into theaters, ive even seen big family buckets of KFC
What the actual fuck? 😂
Imagine like four or five of us sitting in the front row of a crowded theater, chowing down on rotisserie chickens with our bare hands.
In retrospect I feel so bad for the people sitting near us 😂
Why rotisserie chickens?
Cheaper than a large popcorn at the theater 😂
At the Whole Foods, cracking open a hot one with the boys.
As a active teen and even into my 20s I could eat two medium all-dressed pizzas, I'd fold them in half to eat them faster, then go biking for a few hours, then shit out a Douglas fir that evening.
Ok....what's an all dressed pizza? I've had the fries.
One of them should try the costco chickens.
Living like kings.
Little fellas probably getting into gym culture
When I was fifteen, I could totally eat an entire rotisserie chicken in a single sitting. I was also gaining height by inches at a time.
Shit man one upon a time those chicken's were like $5 a pop. Cheapest and fastest way of getting a ton of protein in by far. Now not so much. The last time I bought one I think it was double that in price. This is why we can't have nice things. Companies gotta get greedy.
While I don't disagree on companies (having always been) getting greedy, getting a whole cooked chicken for 5 bucks is only possible through industrial factory farming of livestock with horrible animal cruelty. Try raising, slaughtering, plucking, gutting and cooking a chicken for that average price without basically creating a torture concentration camp for chicken.
I wonder if we'll ever be able to solve the animal cruelty problem through brute force technology. For example, genetically engineer chickens so they simply never grow a brain. Raise the brainless bodies hooked up to an intravenous feeding system. Could cram more of them in a smaller space that way too. Can't be cruel to a thing that isn't conscious in the first place. Sort of a poor man's lab-grown-meat approach.
Amusingly, most people would probably find this a lot more horrifying than factory farms, even though objectively the animals would experience absolutely no suffering whatsoever, as they wouldn't even have the minds to comprehend anything about themselves or their environment.
Honestly I am a bigger fan of vegetarian (vegan) meat supplements. I don't mind if chemistry gets involved as long as supervision is adequate. In the end, livestock is just a biological "factory" that turns vegetables/grains/grass into tasty meat. No reason that can't be done without the detour via the living being.
Not everyone's cup of tea but I was always a huge meat lover and for ~15 years I have committed to only eat meat when I really really want to & focus on quality then. And those times have become less and less, and I can absolutely live with the veggie options.
But I think food chemistry can go a long way and potentially produce artificial meat as well.
And even then, the stores have always been selling rotisserie chickens at a loss to get people in the door.
https://www.seriouseats.com/why-rotisserie-chicken-is-so-cheap-11920596
There's that, too. But here in Germany I am pretty sure the rotisserie chicken at a vending truck is not sold at a loss, and I believe you get a half one at 5 EUR, which is still dirt cheap.
I'm pretty sure that beans and lentils have always been cheaper than chicken.
Well, yeah but are they ready to go for you to eat immediately plates and even a fork is optional?
Canned beans are precooked, just drain the liquid (optional), and chug it!
Why do people drain the liquid? That's free bean water!
Seriously, if you're cooking the beans, leave the liquid in, cook until it boils off. Trust me dawg
It also has other uses - you can whip it into a creamy substance (search aquafaba for recipes)
When boiling dried beans, I recommend tossing the water though: it can contain some mildly poisonous substances, and give you a tummy ache.
eat the beans then do a shot of the bean juice like god intended
I bought one for $4.95 at Sam’s yesterday
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Fake.
If this was real, they would also have had a loaf of bread each. Hard to miss 15 loaves of bread.
Not seeing the issue here. Sounds pretty wholesome to me actually! A bunch of boys hanging out. Unknowing to the horrors that adulthood brings. Soon high school will end. Soon college will start. Some of your friends will drift away. Some you won't even notice until you realize one day it's been a while since you hung out with that one guy. The one you're not best friends with, but sometimes he'd be around. Except he hasn't been around for months, and you're just now noticing. Other friends you notice right away are gone. They get accepted into a college on the other side of the country. You claim you'll keep in touch, but lets be real. You're both going to be super busy with college. You'll drift away from one of your best friends over the next few years. It's neither of your faults really. That's just how life is. You spent your whole life with this guy since you were 5 years old, and now as you transition into adulthood you become strangers. Then one day you wake up, and realize you haven't seen any of those friends in 20 years. All you do is work six days a week, and run errands on the 7th so you have enough supplies to handle the upcoming week. Now even the burnt out face in the mirror looks like a stranger.
But at least they'll have the wholesome memories of being in a costco as teens and eating chicken together. Before it all fell apart.
this hurt to read. i hate how well it captures that feeling. why the hell is adulthood like this? we grind people into paste and don’t even realise how much we have lost of what they could have been. sigh.
Stop whining and get back to generating shareholder value. You can block out your emotions with subscription services.
Goddammit, fine. I will go to the next reunion, and I will bring chicken for the lads, for old time's sake.
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Teen boys are eating machines. I remember when my kids were teens and a bunch of boys came to the house. It was like a plague of locusts. They pretty much emptied the fridge. I still fondly recall pulling out a pickle jar they had eaten all of the pickles out of, leaving just the brine.
Hey, the brine is delicious.
Best thing when dehydrated. Shot of pickle brine chased with a liter or two of water
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You will never know the hunger of a 15 year old boy unless you were one
I once shared a house with a teen male and an early 20's man. Absolute food hoovers.
I don't even know where I put all that food when I was that age. I could eat 5000 calories in a single day and not gain a pound.
I want science to give me back my teenage metabolism.
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Well, eating one chicken does count as eating a whole food.
You can each have one rotisserie chicken, as a treat.
Yeah, when I was going through puberty, the family was going through a burlap sack of rice every month.
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