Can't believe this company went woke, this smell isn't manly at all! Where's my bacon and gasoline scented ass wipes?
this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2026
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"Dude" in the most judgmental 
inflection possible
fellas is it gay to wipe your ass
USUALLY YES BUT IF IT SMELLS LIKE ICE POP AFTER ITS ALPHA
In the tradional crapitallism style they even commodified it's own enshittification in the form of treat sented crap wipes. It was marketed with a melting red, white, and blue shit emoji on a stick.
do ass eaters want a second flavor?
Right next to the bleach as god intended
font reminds me of "DUNE." Missed Marketing opportunity for Spice-scented Blue DUNE WIPES
Spice-scented Blue DUNE WIPES
Feel the Worm
if the heart attack had taken him he might still have a legacy, instead of being remembered as a coward zionist who wouldn't call it a genocide
Bernie is an empty vessel - bad pun intended. About an hour ago I was thinking of the Ship of Theseus. I never thought of using that to describe a person but I am right now. Bernie made so many reductions to his sense of ethics and morality that he went far beyond losing all his righteousness to becoming an awful person. The original Bernie disappeared.
I know next to nothing about what kind of person he was 30 or 40 years ago. If Israel's Gaza genocide had started in 1993 or 1983 - I wonder what he would have done.
well the genocide has been going for a century but I know what you mean, the more violent phase since Al-Aqsa flood
ah yes, scented toilet paper, because my ass is my primary scent organ.
In Southern Europe, scented toilet paper is the norm. If you go to Italy, basically all the toilet paper is either chamomile or peach scented.
it's the norm here too, and it baffles me. it's 120% pointless. but at least it's not scented tissues, those are worse than pointless, because the artificial scent irritates my nose, which is a great feature for a hankie.
maybe italy eats a lot of ass
Our fatbergs will block out the sun
Then we will shit in the shade
A society grows strong when wise man plants shits whose shade he will never sit under
Wait dude wipes are for wiping your ass? I always assumed they were face wipes. The marketing was funny to me before, but trying to imagine a guy who thinks wiping his ass is too effeminate is cracking me up right now.
I have heard a lot of stories of women claiming their boyfriends etc simply don't wipe their ass or give it a couple passes and call it a day. My dad used to have skidmarks on his underwear into his 30s.
My dad used to have skidmarks on his underwear into his 30s.
This is great lore on Robert Kennedy Sr.
My family comes from a long line of pants shitters, and we were glad for it.
one, then the other.
thank god it’s made of plant fibers I was worried I’d have no choice but to clog my toilet with plastic sheets or raw hide
raw hide
Keep poopin', poopin', poopin'
Though my anus swollen
Keep them dogies rollin' - rawhide
Through rain and wind and weather
Hell bent for leather
Wishin' my bud was by my side
All the things I'm missin'
Good vittles, love, and kissin'
Are waiting at the end of my ride
My ass hairs, they dingle dangle dingle
dingle dangle
As I go skidding merrily along
dingle dangle
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Do you think someone actually bought one or did they just leave a space blank to “prime the pump”
I work at a grocery store and check on the state of these "specials" every now and then, I'm pretty sure people do actually buy them. Although sometimes they have to be marked down first.
instead of paying $11.99 for this every two weeks or whatever just save up for a bidet
My bidet paid for itself almost immediately, do you have any idea how much tp you use on an all meat and kimchi diet??
Yeah but that bidet is gay. Alphas spend money on the popsicle wipes /j
Dogs thought they liked smelling my butt before, they go absolutely ape shit now.
You can wipe your ass, with TREATS!!??!? 
I saw pumpkin spice flavor dude wipes in the store. Truly I don't understand the marketing on that one... It's tacticool sanitary products for men who are insecure about getting something "girly", but then scented with something feminine coded?? Who is that for
Is it like when frat bros wear pink tank tops, but they have to be pink tank tops for men? Any masculinity understanders here?