this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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(speaking here as khemehli, with help from cela)

so i have been well aware of the tropes that trans girls are very submissive and love to receive puppygirl treatment and so forth (sadly often neglecting the existence of enbies).

but i also have recognized that i am not that submissive, so my thinking is that there are surely others who are like me in this regard.

of course while conjecture is fun and all, i wanted some numbers. my methodology was to figure out if my closer transfemme friends (n=4) would let me leash them. a couple of them (n=2) i have already put on a leash in the past, so that leaves the other two.

for the first friend i was thinking "eh, there is a decent chance my conjecture holds true for her but i'm not too sure" and for the second "xe is definitely going to say no".

yeah turns out i was entirely wrong and they both just went "oh yeah totally!". so each time i went ahead and grabbed a leash and collar from my purse, approached them, gently fastened the collar around their neck, and then clipped on the leash. it was really really cute n fun heheh (and no not in a sexual way)

as thanks for their contributions to science, each participant was awarded with a yummy chocolate treat hand fed to them (and headpats and praise).

so moral of the story uhh this is clearly not enough data and i need to ask more transfemmes if i can leash them.

yeah thank you for coming to my TED talk 👍


something else funny of note: when making this post, we first put in the title and accidentally hit post never having actually typed out anything. we deleted it seconds later but its still interesting to see how many upvotes it got despite having ZERO content lol

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[–] Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago

I may not be the fabled trans girl Domme but I am the slightly less rare (but still highly prized) trans girl Switch.

Meaning I'll leash one day you but I'll also let you leash me the next day.

Except everyone else in the community is a dyed-in-the-wool submissive so it's not like I would get to be leashed anyway. Such is the tragic life of a trans girl Switch.

[–] Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works 35 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don’t really understand any of this post (mainly because I’m a non-Blahajian outsider) but everybody seemed to have fun. Good luck with your future research.

[–] reseller_pledge609@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Honestly, same. Looking in from the outside and seeing how fun all the queer folk here seem, I just can't understand how people are so scared and angry about them.

[–] Melissa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They can see our lifestyle is more fun, but they are too scared of change to let themselves enjoy it.

Which is so sad to me. I'd love to meet some of the people I've seen around here. They just seem genuinely pleasant and fun.

And as someone living in a backwards shithole on the Southern end of the globe, I don't really have much opportunity to meet many queer people.

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 3 days ago

It's very funny to me that you rewarded puppygirls with chocolate in particular.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@feddit.org 21 points 4 days ago

so uhm where do i sign up for this study?

[–] Mok98@feddit.it 16 points 4 days ago

Very interesting research, you should definitely have a bigger sample size, usually 30 is a minimum for a reliable study. I'm looking forward to your future publications

[–] Shirow@lemmy.zip 15 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

If it's for science

૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა

👉👈

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Oh yeah defo. I got this one for a cutie I was chatting up.

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[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 15 points 4 days ago

(sadly often neglecting the existence of enbies).

As an enby I volunteer for the 2nd round of the studies 🥺

[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 4 days ago

ive never been leashed but id try it :3 i already know i like being choked and bitten on the neck so being leashed would probably activate similar neurons. being a good girl and being told what to do would also be very nice hehe.

[–] deviantfemboi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

This is a common point of discussion in my circle. Love throwing out this paper: Puppygirl Research thanks scientists! It's like math or smth but it is very common for the community rn to enjoy puppygirl stufff

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 days ago

this is very awesome ty for sharing <3

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm disappointed it didn't mention catgirls and how they relate to puppies. Meowing is just the standard greeting, regardless of if they're a cat, a puppy, or none of the above.

[–] Moxie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

Same!!! How could Jay do us dirty like that! She even made it sound like being a puppygirl might offer more liberation from patriarchy. There are some interviews on youtube but so far no one has asked her about catgirls! I'd almost email her, but surely her inbox is flooded with catgirl questions.

If you need more data, I can be yours.

YOUR DATA. For your study.

[–] gegil@sopuli.xyz 6 points 4 days ago

I would rather leash you, than to be leashed myself.

[–] celeste@feddit.org 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Where do yall buy youre leashes?

EDIT: Asking for a friend of course (:

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

one of our collars used to be for one of our cats but for some reason she hated it in particular but it still looked really cute when we tried it on in the mirror (a couple years ago) and so we figured it would probably look cute on others as well. and it has. do see @SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone's note about pet collars though!

another was from an estate sale with a little new-in-box bdsm gear. it is more "purpose-built" and is a bit wider and quite better for pulling and stuff. we actually also got a cute little pink choker with spikes from there too and have used it as a collar too but its not the best.

we have also gotten a couple from a local shop which specializes mostly in leather boots and stuff but offers collars too in good sizes!

our favorite impromptu leash is the detachable strap on our handbag, but we got one from that estate sale too (its literal garbage though), also one from that aforementioned store, and a couple from a pet shop. we have also cleaned up and used a stainless steel chain harvested from a broken engine hoist.

may your uh, friend enjoy :3

[–] celeste@feddit.org 2 points 1 day ago
[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Where the hell do you manage to find an estate sale with bondage stuff available? Thats like a dream come true

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

we were biking through some residential area while running errands and came across that stuff (plus a couple other things we could fit on our bike). it was an impulse buy heheh

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm rather jealous!

So, was there piles and piles of bondage stuff just laying around? I'm picturing arriving back home, saying to my wife "I found the most amazing bargain!" and then on the car's roof rack I proudly show off our new spanking horse ...

[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

mm wouldn't exactly say piles, the people there didn't seem brave enough to put most of the conceivably used stuff out. there was still some opportunity though!

in total we'd reckon we picked up about five twelfths of a bushel of stuff, mostly implements of restraint but also a nice little hitachi wand and some very aesthetically fitting garter straps. plus a few nipple clamps 'cause the sellers probably didn't know they were also for similar activities.

I proudly show off our new spanking horse …

usually the university students here don't have that much actual bondage stuff (mostly just penetrative toys) but perhaps they just might have these due to how nicely they look to work with those sex machines. we prioritize comfort so its probably wouldn't really be our jam though? but who knows. or maybe it could be! only one way to find out ofc...

on the car’s roof rack

not owning a car, our options are really only the (fare-free) public transit bus or the bicycle and both of them seem equally funny to bring such a thing home by

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

I feel kinda bad for the sellers - I had to throw away all my toys at one point, at short notice, and it was shit :-(

I've never had a spanking horse of my own (or any big play furniture) but oh my dog they are such fun. They come in various levels of comfiness, so I wouldn't sorry about that aspect too much if I were you

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Trip to your local sex shop?

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm transfemme and I don't like being leashed. Well, except for Vivace. I usually like doing the leashing.

[–] Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hi precious, would you like Me to leash you?

[–] Domi@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 1 points 1 day ago

Holds you still with My hands and slowly wraps a collar around your neck, taking a few moments to do up the clasp before attaching a leash to the collar.

Good puppy!

Rubs the top of your head.

[–] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago (2 children)

The whole power dynamic bdsm thing is rather dull as far as I'm concerned.

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago

Well, thank you for letting us know. Your opinion is very important to the group.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago (14 children)

It’s highly dependent on the participants being good at their roles and that is an incredibly difficult dynamic to put in place.

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[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

My experience of two trans women would seem to back up your theory. They also enjoyed being showed off, which was fun :-)

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