this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2026
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Political Memes

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[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] wasabi_noir@lemmy.zip 4 points 6 days ago

Worked*

*Jerked off to an L.L.Bean catalog

[–] monotremata@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 days ago

Fundamentally he doesn't mean that he doesn't know what happened. He means that he hasn't received his talking points about this yet.

He knows that there will be some way that the right-wing media ecosystem is going to frame this, and it's very important that his framing match theirs exactly. Somewhere a think-tank is working on the perfect wording that will turn an innocent victim into, somehow, an evil communist traitor who was a threat to an ICE officer and also somehow to the very concept of America. And if he tried to give his own spin on it before that, it would only make their job more complicated.

So yeah, he may know that an innocent man was shot, again. But he doesn't yet know the important stuff: how to make him the villain. He just hasn't had the time to get caught up on that! Give him a break.

[–] Crozekiel@lemmy.zip 6 points 6 days ago (2 children)

So you worked for 22 hours yesterday and no one brought it up?? What exactly were you doing for 22 hours?

I think we need him to start keeping a log of what he actually does, sounds like he is milking the clock in a broom closet.

[–] Frenchgeek@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 days ago

Beating his high score in Solitaire.

[–] TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

More like "milking the broom in a storage closet" am I right?

[–] bender223@lemmy.today 5 points 6 days ago

Please be more understanding, Mike Johnson was very busy monitoring his son's porn activity. 😔

[–] mercano@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

He has to be one of the least informed politicians in memory.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

TRAITOR SCUM

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 140 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

“You guys can mock me for not knowing that. I worked about 22 hours in the last few days and I did not get the briefing on that. I will this morning,” he added.

Not 22 hours in one day, but 22 hours in a few days. Which means at least 3 days, which means less than 8 hours a day. Mike Johnson's concept of extreme hard work is less than the least demanding full-time job.

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 12 points 6 days ago

wow, that is some important context that the OP left out.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 1 week ago

And in reality, he's probably done his own ACTUAL job of legislating on behalf of the people MAYBE 22 hours in the last month if not year.

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 95 points 1 week ago (3 children)

He's literally trying to condescend while claiming incompetence.

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 20 points 1 week ago

If I could be this incompetent with his compensation package, I'd be an insufferably smug prick idiot too

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago

That's pretty much 90% of his public statements.

The rest are bigotry and weird bible interpretations, often at the same time.

[–] Rothe@piefed.social 4 points 1 week ago

He can condescend because he knows he can blatantly lie to the world and face no consequences for it. It is the arrogance of power.

[–] Blibly@lemmy.world 50 points 1 week ago (4 children)

You don't look like you worked 22 hours Mikey you lying dipshit.

[–] lemmyng@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

I doubt he's worked 22 minutes.

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

If "working" means monitoring what kinds of porn his son watches, I might believe it he put in 22 hours.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago

“Given the heavy makeup covering the dark circles under your eyes, how do you respond to allegations that you are transitioning? And will you be going by Michelle?”

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[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Follow up question, Mr. Speaker! Regarding that last half-a-dozen or so ICE agents that shot and killed people in various states of the union who didn't have body cams. Does there need to be accountability? Surely you've heard about at least one of those killings by now?"

[–] numerator3962@fedinsfw.app 9 points 1 week ago

Something along the lines of: “I’ll need to look into the specifics of each of those before I can provide an answer“

[–] cheat700000007@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Chill, Mike. Trump's dick can only get so clean

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Plus it's just going to become filthy again when he shits his diaper again a couple hours (minutes?) later.

[–] luciferofastora@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago

That's why people are so hellbent on constantly cleaning it though. They know it requires constant maintenance.

[–] Canconda@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Asshole knows more about his son's masturbation habits than his god damn dayjob

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] PlaidBaron@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Triumph@fedia.io 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Which he's going to need to tell his son about.

[–] meco03211@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

He already knows. He was watching from his own phone.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

Had to crank out a tribute to Lindsay.

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Play the clipshow of Johnson not knowing about major news stories. Wonder what his record is for claiming total ignorance in a day.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I don't know about any of that with the children

Edit, that is not a direct quote. That's the vibe

[–] stretch2m@infosec.pub 11 points 1 week ago

I can't wait for the day that fucking creepy dweeb gets some justice served up.

[–] BigMacHole@thelemmy.club 10 points 1 week ago

How DARE you SOCIALISTS expect your Publicly Funded Politicians to WORK! WORK is for us LOW PAID Workers ONLY!

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I had heard Johnson was dead along with Mitch and Lindsey.

Do his eyes look different than normal? Its suspicious that he doesnt know a damned thing thats going on in the US. Isnt representing people his whole effing job? I question his legitimacy. As the real Mike Johnson. The real Mike Johnson was also a slimey douche but he at least seemed to understand what was going on day by day.

Thats just a guy wearing glasses and a cheap suit. Look at the lady next to him. She doesnt beleive thats Mike Johnson either.

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The press should be asking, what the hell was he working on during that time, if he's so locked in that he's not paying attention to anything? He's been making his primary job this year calling recess for the House.

[–] Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 days ago

Also, he does not need to be aware of the event to answer the question. It shouldn't be hard to answer...

[–] Mrkawfee@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Lindsey Graham is in hell and Netanyahu's dick isn't going to suck itself.

[–] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Follow up: What did he spend 22 hours working on that he thought was more pressing than federal agents killing innocent civilians?

[–] lemmy_get_my_coat@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

There's still more rights to strip away from minorities and women, so could be that

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago

Is the work here in the room with us now.

Show me on this doll where the work touched you.

[–] Tempus_Fugit@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

What a fucking embarrassment. I hope we pay dearly for electing these cocksucking demons. I pray for $7 a gallon gas.

[–] Klox@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Who knew being a total dipshit took so much work! I'm sure in 22 more hours he'll spin this into Biden's fault.

[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

Body cameras are a pro police not anti-police measure.

[–] ChetManly@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Cleaning trumps balloon knot with his tongue for 22 hours? Impressive...

[–] lemmylump@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

22 on a prison chain gain shackles, in some godforsaken hell hole along a rattle snake infested highway is how this motherfuck should be spending the rest of his life.

Every single one in this regime must serve time. There must be consequences, there must be justice, and the death penalty absolutely should be on the table.

[–] speaksintv@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I didn’t realize browsing Grindr for 21.5 hours was considered work.

[–] CubitOom@infosec.pub 3 points 1 week ago

Browsing Grindr isn't technically masterbation so he wouldn't need to tell his son that.

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