No centralised leadership
AS FAR AS WE KNOW!!
this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2026
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What if this turned out to be how evil plant alien people made themselves known. By mind controlling algea in a big pool.
They’re already in Washington. They’ve been spotted along both coasts for quite some time.. planning? Scheming? I don’t know the answers; all I have are questions. Questions and facts!
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That's what the Algae Mother wants us to think. Those of us who know the truth wait in both reverie and terror for the day her bloom smothers us all.
The president of Algae:
There's a short story by Stanislaw Lem (who also wrote Solaris ) about scientists who train a slime mold to be intelligent by forcing it to grow only in the shape of letters, then forcing the letters to be real words, ... and so on, until they able to have full (if slow) conversations with humans.
I just realized, it's kind of presciently like training an LLM. Story is at least 40 years old, so...
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Maybe Iran will step in to block algae traffic in the reflecting pool.
God I hope not. I'm already paying exorbitant prices for algae.
Shit, I’ve forgotten to buy spirulina for so long that It’s gone out of fashion. I don’t even know where to look without buying it online.
The extremist terrorist organization known as Al-Gae.
THe CHeMICALs are tuRniNg tHE alGAE GaY
DHMO strikes again
Also the leading cause off 99% of drownings!
Algay if you will.
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We're losing
What do you mean 'we'?
I'm on team algae here.
unless you're a leading figure or part of a belligerent group involved in the conflict, I doubt Wikipedia will include you
i can supply nitrogen. and long chains of carbohydrates. and sulfates. and...
what else is in shit? i can supply shit.
pst, milk is amongst the worst chemicals to put in freshwater. it'll remove all the oxygen and result on a very stinky swamp.
i'm lactating as hard as a can doctor, just like, it's not very effective
I'm still on the winning side, though.
Aww, I was really hoping this was real.
it isn't ? 😭
I couldn't find it on wiki, but I only tried for like 2 minutes
nO nEw wArS!
The algae might even have nuclear capabilities
are they Eukaryotic? so they have nuclei. close enough
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Algae's victory is inexorable. After humans are gone, there will still be algae in the reflecting pool.
Even better: It'll return to the wetland that was there before it was developed. i find the idea that this prominent spot will likely be the first such pond in the district to sprout cattails and the like, somewhat poetic.
Edit: I also just realized that the "drain the swamp" crowd is now in a losing battle with said swamp.
Never ask an Aussie about the war on emus and never ask an United Statesian about algae or some shit
Mr president a second algae has struck the pond
Missing a picture of the National Guard, nationally guarding the not sure what exactly at the reflecting pool
He fucks everything he touches.
Does the J. stand for "Dick Fingers"?
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What's funny to me is that the algae problems started when they switched off of DC tap water and installed the pump system that draws in Potomac River water. Back in 2011-2012. Before Trump was ever a politician.
Trump has been a politician since the 1980s. He ran in the 2000 US presidential election.
i mean if he's been a politician since the 80s i've been one since the Aughts. All i've done is build a few homeless shelters and parks and make sure the food banks were well supplied. Highest office i held was being on the executive board of the corporation that ran all that shit. That's good politics if you ask me.
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And before Trump gave his pool guy 14 million dollars to fix it.
I never knew they used municipal water in the past, I always thought it was always the Victorian style of tapping natural sources.
Why didn't they use chlorine?
The reflecting pool is supplied with water from the Tidal Basin. It’s not really possible to chlorinate it.
My guess is that then someone could do a real funny by dumpimg some bleach in afterwards.
Not really a pool person but would it be better to apply white or red (and look like a stripe on the flag) or would it be better to make it a lighter Cyan and, while combating the algae, the added light green makes the end result a blueish shade?
paint it brown so at night it looks like chocolate milk
Can we get the algae and the Iranians to fight each other?
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