Worse: when I’m literally seconds away from doing it.
this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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The teaser on Malcolm in the Middle where Hal gets home and the hall light is burned out. He gets a new lightbulb out of a closet and finds that the shelf it's on is loose. He gets a screwdriver to fix the shelf, and the drawer the screwdriver is in squeaks. To fix the squeak he goes to the garage for a can of WD40, but it's empty. He starts to go to the store for more WD40 but the car won't start. Lois leans into the garage and asks if he changed the bulb. Now with a major car repair in progress he says, "What does it look like I'm doing???"
This entire bit lives rent-free in my head. I literally think of it once per month or more.
Me on every fucking outage call at work.
Like Jesus people just STFU and let me fix it. I don't need to be on a 4 hour conference call about how to fix it with everybody in the company telling me the wrong thing to do...I need five minutes to concentrate and just fucking fix it.
The way I usually do it for people doing that to me is to do a loud confirmation like “Okay, you want me to do X on Y, I’m doing this based on your confirmation, which you gave after I shared my concerns.” Usually they’ll say yes, then I’ll do it and it’ll inevitably blows up on them and they stop bothering me.
Rinse and repeat for every new guy that wants to do that.
When I comment on a very specific detail of a post or a comment, and people go off on their hot-button topic and act like I was implying I'm against them. Like if I mention somebody's shoe is untied and I get accused of hating shoes, or socks, or get lectured on the history of knots and why I shouldn't hate knots. I mean jeez, do people actually read the material or just scan for trigger words?
Missus: Have you done the litters? Me standing over the litterbox with a garbage bag in my hand: ...
If I'm having a heated debate/talk witg someone and someone just chimes in, I literally become a raging gorilla.
Autism has Pathological Demand Avoidance as a theorized category of symptoms. Being asked to do something, regardless of willingness, generates anxiety and a desire to avoid the request.
Here’s one my supervisor does often, bitching at me about something from two weeks ago that’s already done and over.
“This hasn’t been done!”
“Yeah it has, go look”
“Well it wasn’t done two weeks ago when I checked”
“Wtf”
Boss: Is X done yet?
Me: Did you check the ticket?
Boss: don't you know?
Me: Update would be in the ticket.
Boss: well check and let me know
Spoiler: it was done and noted as such two days prior.
I like it better when they know as well as I do that I don't know off the top of my head and need to check the exact same source of information that they could have
Not weird to be angry about that.
I will stop, drop, and walk away slowly, all while maintaining eye contact.
Trillioniares!
Me: repairing the roof before it pisses it down, but despairing at things not going my way.
The wife: "You're tired. Leave it until tomorrow."
Me trying not to be sarcastic or angry: "It's goingggg to pisssss it down. It needs to be fixed today."
Wife: "Yeah, you are tired"
Me internally: BOOM
I know when I am tired. 98 times out of a 100 I'm the one who calls it quits when I've had enough.
Continually stating the obvious when I'm pissed off AND tired doesn't make the things that need to be finished magically go better. It just pisses me off even more.
There needs to be an idiom for this so you can to tell people to fuck off quickly in this situation. Like "mind your horse", or "said the fool to the tiller" or something
A gorilla in the hand is worth two horses.
Don't whip a horse that's already sprinting
"Don't stick your finger in another man's beans."
That's weird? I thought people were being annoying when they do that
Absolutely not weird in any way whatsoever
One better - having something explained to you, that you only just explained to them
When somebody says something that is semantically meaningless or completely meaningless in context, I become so unimaginably angry and I will remember it for the rest of my life.
I still remember I was about 15 and a lady was walking her dog in the same sidewalk, and as she saw me she screamed "Come the otherway!" Like I was a threat. I wasn't offended but just by the fact that this phrase makes no sense, and especially in that context, even if she meant "go the otherway" that still doesn't make sense. That just made me so angry that I wish I could just dropkick her right there.
I used to think this same thing when I was younger. I would do a stupid thing, and then be told to, "grow up". and I would be like, "yeah, I'm doing that".
I don't get it. They didn't have an answer, so they just gave a completely normal thing that makes them angry, instead?
Normalist Thing
IDK, I might have some kind of misphonia because the sound of people talking grates on my nerves. But like, a whole crowd of people not 1 on 1. That low roar murmur is agitating and I used to have nightmares where someone comes up to me and starts speaking, but all that comes out of their mouth is the sound of a large croud all talking at once.
Hey, you. Read these comments.
No! You can't make me! Wait... Damn!
I write a lot, and I can't stand passive voice (I'll fly to your house, ring the bell and kick you in the nuts), refering to something as 'the Project', and text that is not justified.
Great way to fuck with people, though.
Order them around very bossily. Order them to do things they're already doing, already about to do, or have already been told by their actual boss to do.
Use responsibly, of course. Only on people who deserve to be fucked with.
This of course requires people to appoint themselves as the judge of who deserves to be fucked with, which automatically puts oneself in that group.
Now you're doing it.